Friends with an ex, a good idea?

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AnxieTea

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Met with an ex today. Was going OK until she mentioned dating. She was talking and seeing other guys. I started to choke up and said I had to leave. I told her my boundary is too not talk about other guys. She says being single is right for her right now.

I feel now that I am going to become a catholic I should love her even though it hurts to see her. That I have to be there to love as Christ loves. I wept and still feel like a wound is in my chest. She was nervous about seeing me because she knows I still have feelings for her.

What do I do? I told her i’d be there for her. Do I have to offer up my hurt and depression to christ and keep loving?

Any advice appreciated, thank you. I am very lonely
 
Keeping loving doesn’t mean keeping in contact. You can pray for her wellbeing from a distance.

No, you don’t need to keep in contact with an ex.

Especially if one of you has residual feelings for the other.

In fact, distance can be incredibly healthy.
 
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I agree. This “friendship” is one-sided. It is making you unhappy.

With the deal she’s got, she doesn’t need to make changes. That means it’s up to you. Just tell her kindly but clearly that a friendship isn’t possible because you don’t want to be her friend. You want a relationship that the two of you have agreed isn’t going to happen. Then wish her well and depart. Stay off each other’s social media, also.

I am guessing that you date because you hope to marry and have a family. If that isn’t going to happen with her, then there is nothing to be gained by hanging around.

Besides, doesn’t she have girlfriends to talk to about her many dates?
 
Terrible idea. You can wish her well, say a prayer for her, etc. None of that means you need to stay in contact with her.

You “being friends” with her is just you rationalizing hanging around in the hope that she wants to get back together. It’s a totally natural trap to fall into, but you need to pull the bandaid off and move on.

Wish her well, but tell her it’s best if you guys didn’t hang out for the foreseeable future. Then move on. Don’t check her social media, don’t text her, etc.
 
Yeah, your right man. I did fall in that trap. Thank you for the advice brother. Keep me in your prayers I am getting baptized in a week!
 
Good stuff, dude.

You sound like a young guy. Believe me, I think everyone falls into this trap at some point. Don’t waste time pining for her. Accept that it’s over, wish her the best, and move on. You’ll be glad you did, trust me.
 
You’re getting baptized?

Congratulations!

Welcome to the family of God! officially

😇 😀 🎂
🎊 🎊 🎊
 
I thought by the title And category it might have been an ex wife but Now I think it’s just an ex girlfriend. No, don’t be friends with an ex especially if it hurts. 5 years down the road when your wife is expecting your first child you think you will be besties with some girl you dated?.
 
My advice is if you break up and you still have feelings you probably can’t do the “friends” thing.
 
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