A
allymarie
Guest
I was approached by a woman in my community who I admired very much - she is lively, energetic, friendly, and fun. She also seemed to be very, very holy and devout. She is very stylish and has a beautiful home, is very concerned with her appearance. When I would struggle with earthly desires for material things, I would look to her as an example. Because while she was all these things, she also seemed very committed to doing the Lord’s work in her family and in our community.
Over a year ago, she approached me and asked me if I would like to join her, and 4 other women, in this “circle” of friends type thing. Basically, it is a group of women who meet once a month for dinner and conversation. All of the women are older than myself, and they accepted me right away. I was very excited about this new group of friends, but at the same time, I was also very leery of one point: the woman insisted it be a secret because it would hurt the feelings of other mutual friends who were not asked to join.
I joined them because at the time, I was desperate for close friends. I was lonely and praying constantly for Christ to bring holy, devout women with like-minded interests into my life.
We had dinner several times, and I felt very comfortable with them. We talked about everything, which was liberating. Because we were close friends, we could confide in one another like sisters.
Then problems began to pop up. The lady who originally invited me to this group, began to criticize me deeply for language I used when we were together, and how I spoke. How I communicated, how I thought, how I acted. None of it was in a holy “spirit” or pure, she said. I challenged her on it, as I didn’t feel I was speaking any differently than anyone else.
Throughout the year, I rarely ever heard from any of these women again. Occassionally I would email them to see how they were, and every once in awhile, I’d see one or more at mass.
Then I found out I had a serious health issue. I felt very alone and isolated, and to be honest, was worn out from a year of one big problem after another. I got in touch my group of friends and told them how much I needed them and their prayers. No one could get together, they hardly responded. While I was in the hospital, a couple of them said they’d be by to see me, and never came.
And in their defense, they had their own lives. One’s daughter was discerning adopting a baby from a foreign country. Another was building a new house. Two women had children getting ready to marry in 2008, and the last lost her father suddenly.
Two weeks ago, one of the women confessed that the group had been meeting, but just not calling me.
I finally broke down and told a mutual friend of all of ours - the group’s, mine - of what was going on. This secret club.
My friend, a very, very holy, wise and fair woman, told me of what I was dealing with. That the “leader” of this group was not exactly the image she portrayed. They had invited my friend into the group a long time ago, and she declined after praying over it and realizing it was not a good thing. The “leader” lashed out at her, was cruel to her daughter, sabotaged her daughter’s friendships, said mean things to them, and just acted horribly - all because my friend wouldn’t join their group. This lady cusses out her children, and then demands holy behavior from them. She is vindictive and cruel and concerned only about how she looks in the community, and she uses people for what she thinks they can bring to her life: prestige, things, etc.
Another person in the group was practicing “cleansing rituals” on people, even though she does not have any gifts of healing, especially none that are sanctioned through the church. My friend visited a healer that is approved by the Church, a gifted woman, for health issues - much like a doctor. Only this woman incorporates spirituality with her medicine. Well, the woman in this group, after visiting her once, decided she no longer had any problems and that she herself would start cleansing people.
I am praying for these women, as the “leader” has apparently involved yet another woman in the mix. A formally sweet and loving person, who has become very opinionated, harsh in words, and just not like herself at all. She has, apparently, replaced me within this group.
I just don’t even know what else to do. I feel like I need some closure to this evil thing.
In the name of holiness, am I just to take this, let them do this to me? Especially the leader, who rules our community with an iron fist and ignorance about our faith? These are women who are looked upon as deeply devout, knowledgable figures. All of my other friends think they walk on water, they are so perfect.
Please, any advice would be helpful. There are so many details I left out, because of the space constraints.
Over a year ago, she approached me and asked me if I would like to join her, and 4 other women, in this “circle” of friends type thing. Basically, it is a group of women who meet once a month for dinner and conversation. All of the women are older than myself, and they accepted me right away. I was very excited about this new group of friends, but at the same time, I was also very leery of one point: the woman insisted it be a secret because it would hurt the feelings of other mutual friends who were not asked to join.
I joined them because at the time, I was desperate for close friends. I was lonely and praying constantly for Christ to bring holy, devout women with like-minded interests into my life.
We had dinner several times, and I felt very comfortable with them. We talked about everything, which was liberating. Because we were close friends, we could confide in one another like sisters.
Then problems began to pop up. The lady who originally invited me to this group, began to criticize me deeply for language I used when we were together, and how I spoke. How I communicated, how I thought, how I acted. None of it was in a holy “spirit” or pure, she said. I challenged her on it, as I didn’t feel I was speaking any differently than anyone else.
Throughout the year, I rarely ever heard from any of these women again. Occassionally I would email them to see how they were, and every once in awhile, I’d see one or more at mass.
Then I found out I had a serious health issue. I felt very alone and isolated, and to be honest, was worn out from a year of one big problem after another. I got in touch my group of friends and told them how much I needed them and their prayers. No one could get together, they hardly responded. While I was in the hospital, a couple of them said they’d be by to see me, and never came.
And in their defense, they had their own lives. One’s daughter was discerning adopting a baby from a foreign country. Another was building a new house. Two women had children getting ready to marry in 2008, and the last lost her father suddenly.
Two weeks ago, one of the women confessed that the group had been meeting, but just not calling me.
I finally broke down and told a mutual friend of all of ours - the group’s, mine - of what was going on. This secret club.
My friend, a very, very holy, wise and fair woman, told me of what I was dealing with. That the “leader” of this group was not exactly the image she portrayed. They had invited my friend into the group a long time ago, and she declined after praying over it and realizing it was not a good thing. The “leader” lashed out at her, was cruel to her daughter, sabotaged her daughter’s friendships, said mean things to them, and just acted horribly - all because my friend wouldn’t join their group. This lady cusses out her children, and then demands holy behavior from them. She is vindictive and cruel and concerned only about how she looks in the community, and she uses people for what she thinks they can bring to her life: prestige, things, etc.
Another person in the group was practicing “cleansing rituals” on people, even though she does not have any gifts of healing, especially none that are sanctioned through the church. My friend visited a healer that is approved by the Church, a gifted woman, for health issues - much like a doctor. Only this woman incorporates spirituality with her medicine. Well, the woman in this group, after visiting her once, decided she no longer had any problems and that she herself would start cleansing people.
I am praying for these women, as the “leader” has apparently involved yet another woman in the mix. A formally sweet and loving person, who has become very opinionated, harsh in words, and just not like herself at all. She has, apparently, replaced me within this group.
I just don’t even know what else to do. I feel like I need some closure to this evil thing.
In the name of holiness, am I just to take this, let them do this to me? Especially the leader, who rules our community with an iron fist and ignorance about our faith? These are women who are looked upon as deeply devout, knowledgable figures. All of my other friends think they walk on water, they are so perfect.
Please, any advice would be helpful. There are so many details I left out, because of the space constraints.
