From Community Life to Secular Life

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Anthony_Perlas

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Hello,
Been discerning for a religious community for over 4 years. Recently switched back into the main secular society as a Catholic. Having problems adjusting to the culture and feeling stress.

My typical formation prayers are the following:
  1. Daily Mass
  2. Daily Rosary
  3. Morning and Evening Prayers (1962 Roman Missal)
  4. Daily Rosary
  5. Daily Chaplet
  6. Divine Office
  7. 1 Hour Adoration
Sometimes I’m unable to go to Mass or fulfill the above. My traditional Catholicism of Jansenismalso kicks into scrupulosity.

Need your advice to changing spirituality or to simply the strength and grace to keep praying.
 
I’ve never had this direct experience, but I hate seeing no one reply. I did have to adjust my spiritual practices tremendously after having a child. Eventually I realized I had to change my approach towards life and how to find God in my daily routines that were new to me. I do have certain formal daily routines for spiritual reflection, but I do have to spend more time trying to find God throughout the day. In my interactions with people, finding things to be grateful for, more short personal prayers, The Daily Examen is something I try to do daily. Different stations of life and responsibilities may require different tools- and that’s what spiritual practices are- tools. Not the end goal itself.
 
I was in seminary for a couple of years. Lots of solitude and prayer there. Big adjustment going back to the world when i left seminary.
Remember that you have no commitment to pray all the prayers you prayed while in your religious community. You are not preparing for vows. Now you’re a spiritual person living/participating in secular society. You owe it to yourself to not live life now as though you’re still preparing for vows. You’ll need to balance your prayer life now with your responsibilities as a person living in secular society. Be patient in finding this balance in your life as it may take some time.
 
Anthony_Perlas said:
Hello,
Been discerning for a religious community for over 4 years. Recently switched back into the main secular society as a Catholic. Having problems adjusting to the culture and feeling stress.

My typical formation prayers are the following:
  1. Daily Mass
  2. Daily Rosary
  3. Morning and Evening Prayers (1962 Roman Missal)
  4. Daily Rosary
  5. Daily Chaplet
  6. Divine Office
  7. 1 Hour Adoration
Sometimes I’m unable to go to Mass or fulfill the above. My traditional Catholicism of Jansenismalso kicks into scrupulosity.

Need your advice to changing spirituality or to simply the strength and grace to keep praying.
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I’m not sure what your asking. And I have no experience being in a religious community. I think your asking how to adjust back to a non-religious community life. Well, if that’s what your asking, and assuming you are young (20’s), I can’t imagine praying as much as you say you did during your religious discernment while trying to make ends meet in a secular world. Perhaps it’s possible as long as you are single and have stable income. But, I also have a hard time wrapping my head around what I presume to be your question: “How can I live my previous religious life outside of a religious community?” If that’s your question, the answer I would give is that I think you need to be prepared to change your practices as your circumstances change.
 
1Lord1Faith said:
I’m not sure what your asking. And I have no experience being in a religious community. I think your asking how to adjust back to a non-religious community life. Well, if that’s what your asking, and assuming you are young (20’s), I can’t imagine praying as much as you say you did during your religious discernment while trying to make ends meet in a secular world. Perhaps it’s possible as long as you are single and have stable income. But, I also have a hard time wrapping my head around what I presume to be your question: “How can I live my previous religious life outside of a religious community?” If that’s your question, the answer I would give is that I think you need to be prepared to change your practices as your circumstances change.
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Hello Lord1Faith,
It’s great to hear from you! Thank you for your response.

Your statement is correct. How does a person who was forming himself for a religious community for over 4 years adjust to a normal secular life. I am 27 years of age. I did make ends meet in the secular world when under a religious community. As a secular person, the world is much noisier and faster and I do have to sacrifice prayers. The result of the sacrifice of this prayer is in relation to the vow of cleaving to the word of God. Somewhere in the religious community was programmed for me to always thirst, hunger and desire only the word of God and scriptures. Whenever I’m separated from this, it causes a lot of stress as a signal/trigger to cleave closer to the word. This in turn causes me to be unable to fulfill my secular obligations and I keep resorting to prayer.

It is indeed possible being single and having a stable income to fulfill the religious vows. Likewise, I tried as well being in a relationship and having the ability to convert a Baptist pastor’s daughter into the Traditional Latin Mass Rite (** high five** ) as well as sharing economic, and getting her into the Catholic faith without having to enter her religious sect. I always bring God with me everywhere.

I am not asking to live my life of the religious community into the secular world. I’m trying to find the median. The blisspoint. The proper formula of fulfilling God’s prayers as well as being able to survive successful. Essentially, following the will of the Holy Ghost.
Nigel7 said:
I was in seminary for a couple of years. Lots of solitude and prayer there. Big adjustment going back to the world when i left seminary.
Remember that you have no commitment to pray all the prayers you prayed while in your religious community. You are not preparing for vows. Now you’re a spiritual person living/participating in secular society. You owe it to yourself to not live life now as though you’re still preparing for vows. You’ll need to balance your prayer life now with your responsibilities as a person living in secular society. Be patient in finding this balance in your life as it may take some time.
Click to expand...
Dear Nigel7,
That’s awesome! What’s your phone and email? I’d like to interview you. Thank you so much for your feedback. I like your statement “You owe it to yourself not live life now as though you’re still preparing for vows.” How does one tell oneself that Christ loves you without the sacrifices and prayers? Balance is indeed somewhere where I lack. Do you have any resources brother on how to achieve this perfection? This balance? This median?
Eric_Prine said:
I’ve never had this direct experience, but I hate seeing no one reply. I did have to adjust my spiritual practices tremendously after having a child. Eventually I realized I had to change my approach towards life and how to find God in my daily routines that were new to me. I do have certain formal daily routines for spiritual reflection, but I do have to spend more time trying to find God throughout the day. In my interactions with people, finding things to be grateful for, more short personal prayers, The Daily Examen is something I try to do daily. Different stations of life and responsibilities may require different tools- and that’s what spiritual practices are- tools. Not the end goal itself.
Click to expand...
Dear Eric,
I appreciate you! Leave no comrades behind is my philosophy as well. Congratulations on your child. I’m sure he brings you joy. Please elaborate on finding God on your daily routines. I have never had a perspective of finding God. Simply just worshipping. But you’re correct, we do find God in prayer and in other people. And subconsciously we do try to find God.
 
Anthony_Perlas said:
Dear Eric,
I appreciate you! Leave no comrades behind is my philosophy as well. Congratulations on your child. I’m sure he brings you joy. Please elaborate on finding God on your daily routines. I have never had a perspective of finding God. Simply just worshipping. But you’re correct, we do find God in prayer and in other people. And subconsciously we do try to find God.
Click to expand...
My Byzantine friends had inspired me to take up the ancient tradition of fasting both Wednesdays and Fridays- and that eventually led to me looking at each week as a way to re-live Holy Week. I try to remember the theological meaning of each day and enter into that mystery- many days through the rosary- and through fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays of course. So as I go through my day during interactions with others, I think about how I can bring what Christ teaches me that day into how I can be with others. And with myself, my emotions, trials, my blessings, etc. At the end of the day, I use St Ignatius of Loyola’s Daily Examen to reflect on the day which ended and especially through the theological symbolism assigned for that day.
Though I do try to take each day of the week as I’m living through Holy Week with Christ- I do also try to look at each of those theological truths and incorporate them into the Church calendar. I’m not a fan of how many major days are now pushed to the nearest Sunday such as Ascension Thursday. Or are not even mentioned by many parishes such as the Transfiguration of our Lord, the Nativity of Mary, etc. I am a Latin Rite Catholic, but many of my Byzantine friends post reminders of their Major Feast Days that we do technically share with them. I will often pray with their iconography which reflects with the corresponding Feast day and if a Latin rite Catholic parish is not offering mass on the day of that Feast, I will go to a Byzantine Liturgy or Vespers instead. I’m not sure if that explains exactly how I try to find God in daily routines, but for me it’s just a matter of each day thinking how I can creatively bring the Church calendar into my day to day life and the spiritual meditations are where I start first with it. Since the outside world doesn’t live by my routines and I do not always know what the day will bring, I guess it requires an amount of creativity on how I choose to interact with others and many prayers asking God’s mercy to help lead me with those decisions throughout the day. St Francis of DeSales’ book, the Introduction to the Devout Life is a great meditation I think on trying to live spirituality for laity.
 
Eric_Prine said:
My Byzantine friends had inspired me to take up the ancient tradition of fasting both Wednesdays and Fridays- and that eventually led to me looking at each week as a way to re-live Holy Week. I try to remember the theological meaning of each day and enter into that mystery- many days through the rosary- and through fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays of course. So as I go through my day during interactions with others, I think about how I can bring what Christ teaches me that day into how I can be with others. And with myself, my emotions, trials, my blessings, etc. At the end of the day, I use St Ignatius of Loyola’s Daily Examen to reflect on the day which ended and especially through the theological symbolism assigned for that day.
Though I do try to take each day of the week as I’m living through Holy Week with Christ- I do also try to look at each of those theological truths and incorporate them into the Church calendar. I’m not a fan of how many major days are now pushed to the nearest Sunday such as Ascension Thursday. Or are not even mentioned by many parishes such as the Transfiguration of our Lord, the Nativity of Mary, etc. I am a Latin Rite Catholic, but many of my Byzantine friends post reminders of their Major Feast Days that we do technically share with them. I will often pray with their iconography which reflects with the corresponding Feast day and if a Latin rite Catholic parish is not offering mass on the day of that Feast, I will go to a Byzantine Liturgy or Vespers instead. I’m not sure if that explains exactly how I try to find God in daily routines, but for me it’s just a matter of each day thinking how I can creatively bring the Church calendar into my day to day life and the spiritual meditations are where I start first with it. Since the outside world doesn’t live by my routines and I do not always know what the day will bring, I guess it requires an amount of creativity on how I choose to interact with others and many prayers asking God’s mercy to help lead me with those decisions throughout the day. St Francis of DeSales’ book, the Introduction to the Devout Life is a great meditation I think on trying to live spirituality for laity.
Click to expand...
This is amazing! Thank you for your response.
 
Pax et Bonum! Don’t be too hard on yourself; God loves you on any path and if you are praying, all the better because prayer is simply a conversation with God. It is not always the formal prayers that get us where we want to go - Heaven! One is “called” to prayer - so if you are experiencing a call to prayer, then God will open a path for you to have this time - whether in a parish, at home, or sitting on a park bench with the birds. You may be a candidate for Third Orders - Secular. They exist - Carmelites, Franciscans, Dominicans and a few more I believe. angeltime
 
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