Frustration in Discernment Advice

[MattBalkus]

I have the privilege of attending a Catholic high school that really embraces tradition and stands as a kind of counter to modernism which has struck my diocese. Very fortunately, with that comes prayer before the tabernacle everyday, frequent adoration, and confession. For someone like me who has a desire to both the religious life and married life and can’t seem to make a decision between the two (which I know I won’t have to fully make that decision anytime soon) I get frustrated when I’m told to ask the Lord what He wants of me in silent adoration and to put myself at His service and all I sense is neutrality, blandness, no motivation to either lifestyle, just complete and utter silence (which I know isn’t exactly a bad thing) but it’s the last thing one who’s trying his hardest everyday to hear the Lord speak in his heart. It’s just so frustrating and I feel like nothing is ever going to change and that I’m going to make the decision myself and end up in the wrong path of life. I know I need a spiritual director, but I just need tips on how to sense which route to take and how to hear the Lord’s voice. I ask him everyday to let me hear Him and see Him and it all just gets for confusing. All advice helps!

Thanks,
Matt

 

[Deditus_Domina]

Hi Matt,

The waiting is really hard. There are a few possible reasons for it: you aren’t ready yet for God’s answer or you are so focused on hearing him that you are somehow missing how he is talking to you. Sometimes we just have to say: whatever you want God and then get on living our life. Maybe he wants you to grow in something or overcome something before he reveals his call to you? Just work on being Matt the good and holy high schooler and let God slowly work in you.

Maybe he will use this time to allow you to grow in appreciation for discernment struggles so you can be a good priestly vocation director someday.

I recommend the book Uniformity with God’s Will by St Alphonsus Ligouri in the mean time

 

[Cloisters]

Yes, you’re trying too hard to hear. Meet God in every circumstance. Your heart can always do Adoration, no matter where the Tabernacle is located. In a revelation to one of her sisters, St Gertrude the Great was shown as having the eyes of her heart always being on God .

Remember, you meet Him in everyone, too.

St Vincent de Paul said he treated every man as Christ and every woman as Our Lady, and it worked quite well for him.

The external devotions are good, but are they actually deepening your humility?

We need to assume vocation, then discern out. What you do right now is going to help determine how you meet future challenges.

Blessings,
Mrs Cloisters OP
Lay Dominican
http://cloisters.tripod.com/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/charity/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/holyangels/id9.html/

 

[CatholicSpirit]

Matt, this is something we undergo at all ages. Enjoy your youth while you are blessed to have it.

There are legends of some Saints such as Saint Augustine who lead sinful lives before they found their place. Be strong, but also know that if a time should come to repent, all will be well.

 

[JHFamily]

This frustration comes from a shift in thinking that has occurred in the last 150 years or so.

Rather, I encourage the more traditional method of discernment:

Begin with the highest calling, the priesthood. Are you physically, intellectually, and emotionally able to be a priest? Do you have some attraction to it? If you can answer those questions in the affirmative and do not have any canonical impediments (are you married, have debts, already belong to an order), then you should first give your discernment to this. As you progress in your discernment, you should find peace. If you do not, discern the next highest: religious life.

Now go through the same steps with religious life… if you find no peace, then proceed to marriage and discern that.

When I say peace, I mean, of course, a peace with the decision. Often, there is no sense of peace outside of the soul. The devil makes sure of that. Family will balk and try to dissuade you, things will happen that will make you question your decision, etc. But you will feel a sense of peace within yourself with your decision. Also, this peace doesn’t come all at once but grows or fades as your discernment progresses.

 

[Cor_ad_Cor]

Yes, you’re trying too hard to hear.

My thoughts exactly. As a priest friend of mine put it when he was in his phase of actively avoiding his calling (that happens ) he sort of put it like this: Jonah didn’t go looking for the whale, the whale came to him. Maybe not the best analogy, but the point is, especially at this time in your life, “you do you” as they say, and God will let you know when the time is right. That’s not the answer you want, but it’s likely the only one you’re going to get.

 

[Mary888]

I pray for you that He speaks to you.
But as for how to cope with lack of everything someone shifted all things for me in the right direction when he told me that meekness does not mean being stepped over or allowing to be abused but it rather is a synonim to patience.
Jesus waited 33 years. If you are put on hold you are on the right path.
This idea also helps me.
The point is not give up your religious sensibility and continue to pray even if… nothing.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Remember in 1 Kings, God was not in the fire, He was not in earthquake, His voice was not in the storm, He spoke with a still, small voice.

As was suggested above, develop a prayer life, read Scripture, be a good student, then begin by discerning the priesthood, then religious life, and if neither of those are your place, you will know that your quest is to be a good husband,