Fudging holding me back?

[JLCecilia]

So, I’ve been praying novenas almost nonstop for months now, some for DH, some for myself. My areas of struggle include anxiety, depression, despair and selfishness.

In the last week I’ve hashed over a small gripe w/ my co-workers regarding our company parking policy. It seems to have gone out the window as we’ve noticed our co-workers (and director) parking ‘illegally.’ So my convictions on this ‘small’ matter have gone out the window as well and I can’t help but wonder if I’m not ‘cheating’ by parking ‘illegally.’ (in other words, cheating my progress/walk w/ the Lord)

The passage dawned on me ‘if you cannot be trusted in small matters, neither will you be trusted in greater matters.’ Part of me feels my prayers are in vain when I ‘cheat the system’ in little ways, like parking where I shouldn’t. On a more extreme note, I ‘cheat’ the time clock when leaving for lunch, and when travelling from one office to another, I’ll swing by home to check the mail.

What is wrong w/ me?!!! I’m just bored w/ work and feeling slack and unproductive overall (at work, at home w/ the little ones) - just feeling like I’m making little/no progress.

Your thoughts. Thanks for listening, as always.

 

[Ruthie]

Are you on meds for the anxiety and depression? They might need adjusting.

On a spiritual level, my opinion is, yes, you should be faithful in the little things. Don’t let other people drag you down to their level. It will help you feel better, and make it easier to deal with the big things.

Didn’t your momma ever tell you, “Just because ‘everybody’s doing it’ doesn’t make it right!”?

Also, do you have a life outside of work and kids? Maybe you need a “date night” with hubby, or a “girls’ night out.”

Remember that you are far more than just “job title” and “kids’ mommy.” You were a complete person before they came along; they have added to you, not subtracted from who you are.

Praying for you,

Ruthie

 

[royal_archer]

Maybe you need a more challenging and interesting job.

 

[ironman62292]

I agree with the first poster. Be faithful with the little things. Little things can help you get closer to God. Take a look at St. Therese of Lisuex, or however you spell her name. The Little Flower, she is called. Read about her. God Bless.