Fullness of Sacrament of Matrimony

[chikengruven]

My marriage began with my husband being a unconfirmed cradle Catholic and I had protestant background. Married nine years my husband became confirmed and my children were baptized at our Catholic church. At married twelve years I was confirmed this last Easter Vigil. Our priest in charge of our RCIA program said we needed to renew our vows in a Holy Mass in order to recieve the fullness, Grace, and Blessings of the Sacrament of Marriage.

My husband does not feel that it is necessary to renew our vows.

I would like to know if anyone else has opinon on this.

Thanks

 

[rayne89]

If you were not married in the Catholic Church you are technically not “renewing” your vows in the churches eyes you are having your marriage convalidated. The church does not recognize your marriage since your husband, a baptized Catholic married outside the chuch. As I understand it you can not recieve the Eucharist if you are living as husband and wife in the intimate sense until the marriage in convalidated.

My husband and I just had this done in July (we were never told this when my husband converted in '97, it wasn’t until we changed to a more orthodox parish the the church teaching was explained.) If nothing else since your husband is now a confirmed (I assume practicing) Catholic this is a case where despite his feelings he need to be obediante to the Church.

Our was not actually a Mass, (it doesn’t have to be.) It was really beautiful.

It doesn’t have to be an eleborate thing, our took about a half an hour, my guess it could be even shorter. We must remember the Churches teachings take precedence over what we feel, in the end it is the Church that gets the final say. This is not a negative thing, this is a beautiful gift

 

[Benedictus]

Were you married in a Catholic church by a Catholic priest? If not, did your husband get permission from the Catholic Church to marry outside of it? If the answer to either question is yes, then there is no need to to do anything. Your marriage is already a valid, sacramental marriage. If the answer is no to both questions, then you need to have your “marriage” convalidated since the Church (probably) doesn’t consider it valid.

 

[happybrew]

Hi! My lovely, talented, and beloved wife is the original poster on this thread. A bit of background and clarification:

• Said baptismal certificate was presented to my parish priest.
• We attended marriage preparation classes through our parish.
• A dispensation was applied for and received from our bishop.
• We were subsequently married in a Catholic church by a Catholic priest.
• Due to both my wife not being able to receive communion because she was not Catholic, and the sensitivities of my anti-Catholic in-laws, who despite my arguments from John 6 insist that the Mass is blasphemy, we had no Mass at our wedding.

My wife went through RCIA three times, and finally made the plunge. I can’t for the life of me figure out what took her so long, as she was virtually Catholic in thought and deed for many years. Of course, the same could be said for me, with considerable culpability. At any rate, I digress. She bucked her anti-Catholic parents and did the deed.

While she was in RCIA for the final time, the priest might have questioned the validity of our marriage because there was no Mass at the wedding ceremony. He suggested that we needed to renew our wedding vows with a wedding Mass.

My lovely, talented, faith-filled, and fruitful (kid number six is wiggling in the womb as I write) wife is wondering if we are missing any of the graces associated with marriage by not having had a Mass at our wedding. Would we obtain the fullness of matrimonial grace by having a Mass where we renew our wedding vows? Do we have the fullness of matrimonial grace already?

Thanks!

Doug

 

[Joe_Kelley]

When one of the spouses is a non-Catholic Christian, we recommend that they not have a Wedding mass for the reasons you state. It should be a day of unity and rejoicing, not division and recrimination. It provides a complete, sacramental marriage.

Of course the blessings of a mass are unlimited. A mass with a renewal of vows is a great way to celebrate an anniversary. One can always use a bit more grace.

 

[rayne89]

Thanks for the additional info. I don’t see why you would have to renew your vows. If you were married in the Catholic church by a Catholic priest than you have all the sacramental graces that come with marraige. Our marriage was convalidated without a Mass. Most that attended were either protestant or fallen away Catholics. My husband and I recieved communion during the ceremony but it was not a Mass and were are in a sacramental marriage - the whole homily of our “wedding” in the church was about that.

 

[puzzleannie]

it might be kind of a sweet way to spark the romance again, but from your story I don’t see how it is needed, on second thought, with #6 squirming around in there, maybe you don’t need any more romance right this minute.

 

[ladybugmom]

My Wedding ceremony did not include the mass for my own health reasons, and it is recognized my the church. HOweer, just think of the additional blessings pouring down on you if you were to celebrate an anniversary with a Sunday Mass said for your family. My Grand Parents have had a Mass said at several anniversaries and is was very special for all of us. we even took up gifts that were a part of their lives like a big bag of potatoes, a milk can, warm blankets at their 50th. Very symbolic, very sacremental. We al need a reminder that marriages can last even in these times. God bless you, And Prayers for the little wiggler! ( I too have 6 babes!)

 

[RichT]

It sounds like you followed all the rules and aren’t required to have your vows renewed. Of course as others have pointed out it would be a really nice thing to do. I did not have a mass at my wedding as well, as a mass is not a requirement to get married in the catholic church. Your marriage is considered valid.

 

[mercygate]

happybrew:

Hi! My lovely, talented, and beloved wife is the original poster on this thread. . . . My lovely, talented, faith-filled, and fruitful (kid number six is wiggling in the womb as I write) wife is wondering if we are missing any of the graces associated with marriage by not having had a Mass at our wedding. Would we obtain the fullness of matrimonial grace by having a Mass where we renew our wedding vows? Do we have the fullness of matrimonial grace already?

Thanks!

Doug

Sounds like you’re just about swimming in graces! At this point it seems like a personal call based on personal sentiment. We all know that satisfying the personal sentiment may not be necessary but if it would make you both feel stronger in your marriage, it could do no harm. But it would amount to the renewing of vows people do to mark anniversaries. You don’t renew anything: it’s a permanent solemn vow. You just reaffirm your commitment. Your story is heartwarming.