Funeral for someone married twice without annullment

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Riley259

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I attended a Catholic funeral for a woman who had been married a second time without receiving an annullment for her first marriage. Of course, her second husband was there at her funeral but during the homily the priest mentioned her children and grandchildren several times without even mentioning her second husband. It was almost as if he didn’t exist in the eyes of the church in this context. How should a priest address a second spouse in this situation. Should he just pretend that this person was not her husband (from a sacramental standpoint he’d be right of course) or should out of sensitivity to the family at least mentioned him in passing during the homily? Is there some sort of protocol or rubric for these situations. Any information would be appreciated.
 
Kucjen said:
She shouldn’t have had a Catholic funeral in the first place.
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This is an unkind thing to say as well as incorrect. You do not know what kind of confession someone made on their death bed. You also do not know if two people were living as brother and sister which would have even allowed her to receive Eucharist. Maybe before making uncharitable statements you should brush up on your Canons.

On the first note - Riley I do not know. I think there are many open ended questions that are best left to one of the priests. Maybe NewEnglandPries will jump on and answer as he is usually very level headed and gives good counsel in these matters.
 
Kucjen said:
She shouldn’t have had a Catholic funeral in the first place.
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You are entitled to your opinion, however, no bishop is going to allow a refusal of this funeral and the Canon Law Society of America’s commentary explicitly states it would be difficult to canonically justify refusing a funeral based on irregular marriage.
 
Riley259 said:
I attended a Catholic funeral for a woman who had been married a second time without receiving an annullment for her first marriage. Of course, her second husband was there at her funeral but during the homily the priest mentioned her children and grandchildren several times without even mentioning her second husband. It was almost as if he didn’t exist in the eyes of the church in this context. How should a priest address a second spouse in this situation. Should he just pretend that this person was not her husband (from a sacramental standpoint he’d be right of course) or should out of sensitivity to the family at least mentioned him in passing during the homily? Is there some sort of protocol or rubric for these situations. Any information would be appreciated.
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How do you know? Such an event in ones life is a private thing and is not publicized, just as regularizing a second marriage is considered to be a private thing.
As far as a funeral not being licit, the Church, being charitable gives the deceased the benefit of doubt for the sake of their living relatives.
Ever since the reforms of Vatican II, even suicides are given the benefit of doubt and not only can have a funeral in the Church, but can be buried in consecrated ground.The only exceptions are when such services would cause public scandal, such as when the notorious dope dealing gangster Carmine Galante was killed in NYC and the Archbishop Cardinal forbid him a Catholic funeral on the grounds that in life he was not a practicing Catholic.
 
Riley259 said:
I attended a Catholic funeral for a woman who had been married a second time without receiving an annullment for her first marriage. Of course, her second husband was there at her funeral but during the homily the priest mentioned her children and grandchildren several times without even mentioning her second husband. It was almost as if he didn’t exist in the eyes of the church in this context. How should a priest address a second spouse in this situation. Should he just pretend that this person was not her husband (from a sacramental standpoint he’d be right of course) or should out of sensitivity to the family at least mentioned him in passing during the homily? Is there some sort of protocol or rubric for these situations. Any information would be appreciated.
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It could have been an oversight. Sometimes the funeral information we get is incomplete.

The priest need not address her husband as her husband, but he could simply address him by name and acknowledge his grief in the homily.
 
NewEnglandPries said:
You are entitled to your opinion, however, no bishop is going to allow a refusal of this funeral and the Canon Law Society of America’s commentary explicitly states it would be difficult to canonically justify refusing a funeral based on irregular marriage.
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Ok. So I guess it would be better to have the funeral and say some extra prayers concerning the woman’s scandalous and objectively sinful behavior.

“Lord we pray for the repose of the soul of Mrs (first husbands last name). Although we have little hope of her repentance, and justifiably fear that she may already suffering the fiery torments of hell, nonetheless, acknowledging that we do not know with certainty the state of her soul, we pray that she, contrary to our reasonable expectation, may yet, through deep and perfect contrition for her wickedness, have merited to receive the gift of salvation. Therefore, we humbly offer our prayers and penances, that her purification in purgatory may not last until the final day, but that she may swiftly enter into the joys of heaven.”
 
Kucjen said:
Ok. So I guess it would be better to have the funeral and say some extra prayers concerning the woman’s scandalous and objectively sinful behavior.

“Lord we pray for the repose of the soul of Mrs (first husbands last name). Although we have little hope of her repentance, and justifiably fear that she may already suffering the fiery torments of hell, nonetheless, acknowledging that we do not know with certainty the state of her soul, we pray that she, contrary to our reasonable expectation, may yet, through deep and perfect contrition for her wickedness, have merited to receive the gift of salvation. Therefore, we humbly offer our prayers and penances, that her purification in purgatory may not last until the final day, but that she may swiftly enter into the joys of heaven.”
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Do you not believe in the Sacrament of Reconciliation?
 
NewEnglandPries said:
It could have been an oversight. Sometimes the funeral information we get is incomplete.

The priest need not address her husband as her husband, but he could simply address him by name and acknowledge his grief in the homily.
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I did not get addressed, nor her children at my wife’s funeral.
 
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