Funny and odd things kids say

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I have a nephew that will be 4 next month, a few months ago, out of nowhere, he says to me, “Uncle, dinosaurs don’t have laser eyes”. I’m still confused why he said it, but I still think it’s hilarious
 
My son once said: “What a day I am having. If I wasn’t having a day like this, then I wouldn’t be having a day like this.”

We like to remind him of that every once in a while.
 
Visiting some friends recently little 3yr old girl ran up happliy and excitedly with her news " (name) has got two teeth !" Said elderly gentleman friend was standing with us :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:
 
I can’t recall anything my kids said that was funny for the life of me! I know they did…it may come back to me later.

The one thing I do have memories of was the stories they’d tell me about their Lego structures. Often lasting several minutes they would regularly and proudly show me a rocket, or an aeroplane or a new kind of super tank with special boosters and an invisibility cloak which was waterproof and so on… ten minutes later it’d be a castle wall!
 
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I work a 14 day rotation (14 days away at work 14 days home). When my son was about 6, he and I were talking on the phone and he says “daddy, are you coming home tomorrow or the next morrow”…man to have 6 again for just a day. Peace be with you
 
I teach kindergarten. It’s he happiest job on earth. Kids say so many things it’s impossible to pick a favorite! One of my favorites though was a little girl in my class that had a very large family came to school to share the exciting news that mom just had her baby sister! She was so proud and showing me the picture of her holding her. In the picture you could clearly count that the family consisted of 5 boys and 4 girls, thanks to the new baby. So I asked her,
“How many sisters do you have now?”

“I have three sisters.”

“And how many brothers do you have?”

“Ugh! Like a hundred or something! They are weird!”

If you could have seen the expression on her sweet little face. It was absolutely priceless.
 
My three year old will tell anyone who will listen strange “facts” about the baby. Her preferred audience is absolute strangers.

This is our baby, she has fangs.

This is our baby, we bought her at Costco.

This is our baby, she has lice.
 
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My older niece was kind of that way with “her” baby. She would rename that poor boy every few minutes. One day and older lady stopped to talk as she was pushing her brother in the stroller. She asked her what the baby’s name was and my niece in her best mom voice said, “We named him Clothesline.” The poor lady was so startled she just walked away.
 
The one good thing about FB is that it brings up my old memories of my kids, when they were smaller! Otherwise, I’d totally forget half the weird, funny, offbeat exchanges we’ve had…

I’m sorting through dried beans in preparation for soaking. Y is bothering X, so I call Y to come help me.
Me: I’m going to soak these beans, but first, I need to check them for any little rocks. Can you help me look for rocks?
Y squeezes a bean very carefully, and puts it into the bowl.
Y: No rocks in that one!

and

X: A day without Skylanders feels like 24 hours.

and

(Reading to the boys)
Me: “Aunt Gertrude ruled with an iron fist, and the Hardy Boys knew better than to oppose her…”
X (sits up with an amazed expression of sudden interest): Wait, what?
Me: It’s an expression. It doesn’t mean she has a metal hand. It means she’s the boss, and they know not to argue with her.
X (settles back down): Oh. I had read a story about someone with a robot leg…

and

X spends the afternoon trying to chase Y out of being in the same room with him…
X: Go away, Y! You’re DISTRACTING me!
X: Nooooo! I can’t read when you’re looking at the book!
X: STOP IT, Y! Go away!
But when it’s poop time…
X: Come on, Y! It’s time for a meeting!
 
hay !
whats everyone up to
i am really tired i was up late last night watching sherlock Holmes! [ the BBC series !]
 
I overheard a little girl at Walmart today ask her dad where the bathroom was. Her dad said that he didn’t think there was a bathroom there. The little girl cocked her head, put her hands on her hips, and said, “Dad, do you see all these worker people here? Well, they have to have a bathroom someplace. They aren’t puppets!” Dad and I locked eyes for a minute and laughed. Needless to say, dad found the bathroom for his daughter.
 
I was subbing in a nurse’s office at a school when two little girls came in. One was the spokes-girl for the other.

First she tells me: You gotta get that tick off her
Which I did (it was crawling around and hadn’t bitten yet)
Second, she tells me: Now you gotta give her Lymes disease medicine

I gave them both a mini-lesson about tick-bourne illnesses and sent them on their way.

They were second graders.

I was able to refrain from laughing until they were out of earshot
 
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