Funny for wives

[coralewisjr]

This is hilarious. It’s missing “How to ask for directions”. Mom sent it to me…

For those of you who are married, were married, or are contemplating marriage - under the assumption that men need (or ought) to be trained for marriage. Southwest Tech is offering a new 2 year associates degree…

TWO YEAR DEGREE: Becoming a Real Man. That’s right, in just six mini-mesters, you, too, can be a real man as well as earn an associates degree in MA (Male Arts). Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

FIRST YEAR:

Autumn Schedule:
MEN 101 Combating Stupidity
MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework
MEN 103 PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Under things for Christmas

Winter Schedule:
MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to getting in at 2AM
MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn’t End with Conception
EAT 100 Get a Life, Learn to Cook
EAT 101 Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
ECON 001A What’s Hers is Hers

Spring Schedule:
MEN 120 How NOT to Act Like a Buttface When You’re Wrong
MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex
MEN 123 Reasons to Give Flowers
ECON 001C What Was Yours is Hers

SECOND YEAR:

Autumn Schedule:
SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep without It
SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It’s Awake, Take a Shower
SEX 103 How to Stay Awake After Sex
MEN 201 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down
Elective (See Electives Below)

Winter Schedule:
MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211 How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
MEN 213 Honest, You Don’t Look Like Tom Cruise or Billy Dee
MEN 230A Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important

Spring Schedule:
MEN 220 Omitting %&*! from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions
MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
MEN 230B Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2

Course Electives:
EAT 201 Cooking with Tofu
EAT 202 Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 203 Burping and Belching Discreetly
MEN 231 Mothers-in-law
MEN 232 Appear to Be Listening
MEN 233 Just Say “Yes, Dear”
ECON 001C Cheaper to Keep Her

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne

 

[Siena]

funny!

 

[turboEDvo]

Hehe, I chuckled. But honestly, those things (well, most of them, I wouldn’t know about the sex ones) aren’t that tough. Cooking is easy, as are household chores…

Though, I did howl when I read “Fluffing the blanket after farting is not necessary.” For some reason, that struck me as funny.

However, I don’t get this stereotype of married men being freaking dumb as doornails. Guys aren’t automatically retarded, and I can already do most of those things.

Eamon

 

[coralewisjr]

turboEDvo:

Hehe, I chuckled. But honestly, those things (well, most of them, I wouldn’t know about the sex ones) aren’t that tough. Cooking is easy, as are household chores…

Though, I did howl when I read “Fluffing the blanket after farting is not necessary.” For some reason, that struck me as funny.

However, I don’t get this stereotype of married men being freaking dumb as doornails. Guys aren’t automatically retarded, and I can already do most of those things.

Eamon

I know that guys aren’t automatically retarded. I grew up with two brothers and a Dad. It’s just light humor - please don’t take offense, Eamon.

DH doesn’t fight over the remote because we have no remote to fight over. He is learning how to cook; since I have to stay off my feet as much as possible, this is a great chance for him to learn. He used to be clueless at the laundromat (as I was when I moved from my parents’ to college) but he’s making good progress there, too. He bought me flowers for my birthday this year, which was a really nice treat. I’ve already trained him to put the toilet seat down when he’s done. Lately he’s remembered our anniversary (5/30) better than I have! (this year is our one-year anniversary, yay) He doesn’t swear, thank God. We already joke about how I’ll need to tell him to stop acting like Baby after I birth Baby this fall - he is such a goof! I love him so much.

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne

 

[MaryB23]

turboEDvo:

Hehe, I chuckled. But honestly, those things (well, most of them, I wouldn’t know about the sex ones) aren’t that tough. Cooking is easy, as are household chores…

However, I don’t get this stereotype of married men being freaking dumb as doornails. Guys aren’t automatically retarded, and I can already do most of those things.

Eamon

Your future wife is a lucky woman!

I laughed, too, but most of them don’t apply to my husband, either. Unfortunately for him, though, the PMS one does apply.

 

[Jennyanydots]

The guys have PMS too!!! My husband can get very cranky just before dinner.

I call it Pre Munching Syndrome. He gets no sympothy from me.

 

[coralewisjr]

Jennyanydots:

The guys have PMS too!!! My husband can get very cranky just before dinner.

I call it Pre Munching Syndrome. He gets no sympothy from me.

LOL tell him to eat an appetizer. Or you could do as Weird Al Yankovic does in “Eat It”: yell “Get yourself an egg and beat it!”

my Mother my Confidence,
Corinne

 

[sarai]

coralewisjr:

This is hilarious. It’s missing “How to ask for directions”. Mom sent it to me…

How to ask for directions is listed here

SECOND YEAR:

Spring Schedule:
MEN 220 Omitting %&*! from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions
MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
MEN 230B Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2

 

[coralewisjr]

sarai:

How to ask for directions is listed here

SECOND YEAR:

Spring Schedule:
MEN 220 Omitting %&*! from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions
MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
MEN 230B Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2

oops

 

[turboEDvo]

Jennyanydots:

The guys have PMS too!!! My husband can get very cranky just before dinner.

I call it Pre Munching Syndrome. He gets no sympothy from me.

Hahaha, symptoms for me include grogginess, slurred speech, absolutely rediculous ideas, and general tendency to stick anything and everything edible (as well as some things that aren’t) in my mouth.

Oh, and don’t worry, I don’t take offense at all. I thought it was quite clever.

Eamon