Funny: Misheard hymns?

[Tantum_ergo]

Did I miss it or did somebody bring up the old familiar Protestant,

“Gladly, the cross-eyed bear?”

 

[Chris_LaRock]

For years I sang it like: round young virgin, mother, and child.

Not really inaccurate. Pregnancy has a way of making expectant mothers ‘round’.

 

[pprimeau1976]

As a cantor, we had a few “misheard” favorites in protest of some newer hymns.

“Yahweh I Know You Drink Beer” instead of “Yahweh I Know You Are Near”

“Sing The Same Old Song To The Lord” instead of “Sing A New Song Unto The Lord”

We also had a version of “One Bread, One Body” that was suitable only for weddings.

 

[mikijam]

My wife, a cantor, intended to invite the congregation to sing “There is a Wideness in God’s Mercy,” but instead asked that they join her in “There is a Wilderness in God’s Mercy.”

As for me, I can never hear “All Are Welcome” without thinking of that creepy little woman from “Poltergeist”. After singing the hymn in that voice to my wife one day after mass, she now studiously avoids my gaze when leading the congregation so as not to profane the litergy with a wholly inappropriate case of the giggles.

 

[sandraladeda]

In one of those 70s classics, “Peace is flowing like a river” -

my sister thought that “setting all the captives free” was “setting all the cactus free”

My little sister thought the same thing!

(and really, it makes sense, they were in “the desert”, where cactus are known to be found…)

to this day, I cannot hear this hymn without getting the giggles…

 

[mantilla410]

I mentioned this thread to a friend of mine yesterday and she said that when she was little she had always heard the song as

“Bringing in the Sheets”

She thinks that because her Mom was a big believer in line drying clothes this may be why she heard it as related to laundry.

 

[nlh1302]

In the Pentecostal church I grew up in our choir was rehearsing our annual Easter Cantata. One year the material had the hymn Christ Arose and included the line “Lo, in the grave He lay.”

After a couple of run throughs, our director had to stop and remind us to enunciate properly as the line was coming out more like “Lo, in the gravy lay.”

 

[VociMike]

This is a very, very funny video, VociMike. Thanks for the laugh!

“From celestial crabs descending…”

I can’t think of that without giggling.

 

[Nat2]

This isn’t a hymn, but I remember from second grade a kid reciting the Our Father: “Our Father who art in heaven, Halloween thy name…” (at that age, who knew?)

Haha…this like what my friend’s little sister used to do! She would say, “Our Father, who does art in Heaven, how do you know my name?”
ROFL!!

 

[Wilhelm_Stoever]

“Our God Is an Astronaut, Who reigns in Heavenly Glory!”

 

[Gardenman]

I used to think “Humbly, we adore thee” was “Humpty we adore thee” and that becuase of his tragic demise, Humpty Dumpty had gained martyr status.

One of my sisters thought the advent hymn was “Oh come, oh come Emannuel…and run some, Captain Israel”

Our neighbors were Methodist and their mother played the organ at their church. She would often have choir practice in their house. As a child, I thought they were singing, “Blasted Insurance! Jesus is Mine” instead of “Blessed Assurance”.

 

[ericka1701]

When I was younger (and non-Catholic), I saw a painting of the Blessed Virgin weaving… which helped explain to me why the Hail Mary said “and blessed is the fruit of your loom”… I honestly thought for a few years that the Virgin Mary made underwear.

 

[Matrix_Refugee]

Did not grow up Catholic, any converts remember “Bringing in the Sheeps”

I heard it as “Bringing in the Sheets”. I’d never seen the Polish Madonna with Our Lady hanging out her laundry, but for some reason, the hymn conjured the image of angels and saints bringing their clean robes into the Eternal Jerusalem.

And God help me, but my brain got so sick of “Lord, I Lift Your Name On High”, that it now replaces every word with “blah”, maybe because the melody is so “blah”.