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Matthew 4
**Teh temptayshun of Jesuz Christz0rz
**
1 So Jesus taiked hisself 2 teh desert to hang with teh Saitan, so Saitan cud tri 2 pwn him2 N he et no cheezburgrz or cookies, even, fr 40 dayz n nites, srsly!3 Den Saitan wuz der and sed “O hai if ur teh Ceiling Cat’s bebbeh, makes cheezburgrz outta da rocks kthx.”
4 t Jesus sed “Cheezburgrz am not da best, Ceiling Cat’s wurdz am best,” even tho he rly laikd cheezburgrz, laik, srsly.
5 Saitan wuz nt pwned, an tuk Jesus 2 teh tmple ruf.6 sed, “if ur teh Ceiling Cat’s bebbeh, jump off and angelez will cotch u kthx.”
7 Jesus sed it wuz not cool 2 try 2 pwn Ceiling Cat.
8 Saitan tuk Jesus in ur mountain, sittin on ur summit, n showed Jesus all teh orsumness of teh wrld, srsly.9 N sed, “All da base r belong 2 u if u am mai BFF, kthx.”
10 But Jesus sed, “STFU Saitan, R U DUM? Ceiling Cat am mai BFF cuz he am teh 1337!”
11 Den Saitan wuz pwnd, n angelez cam frm Ceiling Cat an gave Jesus all teh cheezburgrz an cookiez an brushded his fir.