Funny things happening in mass

[RedSparklyShoes]

What funny things have happened in mass?

Recently in our parish, when the priest was about to read the Gospel, he said “The Lord be with you” and before we could respond, a toddler said “Nnnnnnoooooooooooooo”

At my baptism, there were 3 very experienced priests concelebrating. About 100 years experience between them. The Anglican church at the time was using an experimental liturgy card. They got to the dismissal and realized they had done nothing with the water or the baby! They turned the card over and started again.

 

[marymary1975]

Once I was in a mass at a church that was run by the Franciscans. They used to have a little zoo right next to the church where they kept several kinds of animals including monkeys. Well one day that I was there during the mass one of the monkeys escaped from the zoo and ended for the surprise of everybody (and entertainment of the kids at that mass) on top of the altar right next the the priest the priest tried to continue the mass like if the monkey wasn’t there and someone came very slowly to try to grab the monkey without disrupting but when the monkey saw the person coming, the monkey immediately grabbed the bible and started making loud noises and wouldn’t let the bible go until the person trying to take the monkey away left!!! In the end they couldn’t get the monkey out without disrupting so I guessed the priest decided to do his best at ignoring the monkey. The monkey didn’t move from the altar and the priest had to continue with the entire mass with the monkey on top of him or jumping.from the priest shoulder to the altar or grabbing things at the altar!!! People couldn’t help it and everybody started laughin because it was pretty funny to watch the monkey on the altar grabbing things and handing them back to the priest and the poor priest (whose hair was being pulled) ignoring the monkey as much as possible lol Now the monkey was generally speaking pretty well behaved besides pulling the priest’s hair and his arm, and he even handed the bible back to the priest when the guy trying to catch him left him alone lol but the entire thing was hillarious. When the mass ended all the priest said was well this is ti show everybody that even animals want to be near God, the entire church started laughing hysterically

 

[Becca3]

Once I was in a mass at a church that was run by the Franciscans. They used to have a little zoo right next to the church where they kept several kinds of animals including monkeys. Well one day that I was there during the mass one of the monkeys escaped from the zoo and ended for the surprise of everybody (and entertainment of the kids at that mass) on top of the altar right next the the priest the priest tried to continue the mass like if the monkey wasn’t there and someone came very slowly to try to grab the monkey without disrupting but when the monkey saw the person coming, the monkey immediately grabbed the bible and started making loud noises and wouldn’t let the bible go until the person trying to take the monkey away left!!! In the end they couldn’t get the monkey out without disrupting so I guessed the priest decided to do his best at ignoring the monkey. The monkey didn’t move from the altar and the priest had to continue with the entire mass with the monkey on top of him or jumping.from the priest shoulder to the altar or grabbing things at the altar!!! People couldn’t help it and everybody started laughin because it was pretty funny to watch the monkey on the altar grabbing things and handing them back to the priest and the poor priest (whose hair was being pulled) ignoring the monkey as much as possible lol Now the monkey was generally speaking pretty well behaved besides pulling the priest’s hair and his arm, and he even handed the bible back to the priest when the guy trying to catch him left him alone lol but the entire thing was hillarious. When the mass ended all the priest said was well this is ti show everybody that even animals want to be near God, the entire church started laughing hysterically

Sounds like a movie being played out with someone like Chevy Chase or Steve Martin in it. I was laughing so hard that tears came out of my eyes! That was pretty clever of the priest to say that even animals want to be near God too. lol

 

[tabycat]

Once I was in a mass at a church that was run by the Franciscans. They used to have a little zoo right next to the church where they kept several kinds of animals including monkeys. Well one day that I was there during the mass one of the monkeys escaped from the zoo and ended for the surprise of everybody (and entertainment of the kids at that mass) on top of the altar right next the the priest the priest tried to continue the mass like if the monkey wasn’t there and someone came very slowly to try to grab the monkey without disrupting but when the monkey saw the person coming, the monkey immediately grabbed the bible and started making loud noises and wouldn’t let the bible go until the person trying to take the monkey away left!!! In the end they couldn’t get the monkey out without disrupting so I guessed the priest decided to do his best at ignoring the monkey. The monkey didn’t move from the altar and the priest had to continue with the entire mass with the monkey on top of him or jumping.from the priest shoulder to the altar or grabbing things at the altar!!! People couldn’t help it and everybody started laughin because it was pretty funny to watch the monkey on the altar grabbing things and handing them back to the priest and the poor priest (whose hair was being pulled) ignoring the monkey as much as possible lol Now the monkey was generally speaking pretty well behaved besides pulling the priest’s hair and his arm, and he even handed the bible back to the priest when the guy trying to catch him left him alone lol but the entire thing was hillarious. When the mass ended all the priest said was well this is ti show everybody that even animals want to be near God, the entire church started laughing hysterically

I bet that St. Francis got a kick out of that!!!

 

[mexolic]

At last Sunday’s mass, the celebrant finished distributing the Body, well so he thought. One of the cantors, a girl of about 12 years old, was lead singing only during the communion. She didn’t receive communion since she was singing. She had finished singing when the celebrant was just about to put away the remaining consecrated bread. She went immediately to the front of the altar to receive communion. The celebrant walked back to distribute the last one for the mass. Just in time!

 

[Allegra]

A parish I used to attend had a really snooty, grumbly old fellow for an assistant pastor. Father always seemed to be annoyed for no reason, rushed through Mass with as little homily or emotion as possible, and generally acted as if he’d never passed gas in his life.

During the Easter Vigil one year, he was coming around with the holy water and his customary scowl. (Someone here knows the name for the stick with the ball on the end that is used to sprinkle holy water on the congregation.) Anyway, I noticed he was waving the water sprinkling thing with unusual force. The choir member next to me, leaned over and whispered in a cranky voice, “Take…that…stupid…parishoners!” I was trying not to laugh when suddenly the ball on the end of the thing went flying backward over Father’s head and into the congregation behind him, completely drenching him in blessed Easter sacramental and causing much commotion in the pews.

Isn’t Easter a wonderful season?

 

[LaMusicaSenior]

A parish I used to attend had a really snooty, grumbly old fellow for an assistant pastor. Father always seemed to be annoyed for no reason, rushed through Mass with as little homily or emotion as possible, and generally acted as if he’d never passed gas in his life.

During the Easter Vigil one year, he was coming around with the holy water and his customary scowl. (Someone here knows the name for the stick with the ball on the end that is used to sprinkle holy water on the congregation.) Anyway, I noticed he was waving the water sprinkling thing with unusual force. The choir member next to me, leaned over and whispered in a cranky voice, “Take…that…stupid…parishoners!” I was trying not to laugh when suddenly the ball on the end of the thing went flying backward over Father’s head and into the congregation behind him, completely drenching him in blessed Easter sacramental and causing much commotion in the pews.

Isn’t Easter a wonderful season?

I couldn’t even read this without laughing out loud. I would have loved to see this!!

 

[RedSparklyShoes]

The sprinkly thingy is an aspergillum.

One time I was at a diocesan event and there were many parish banners that had been in the opening procession. I had one of the banners. I was behind the bishop who was sprinkling the holy water. I was in his back swing and was getting drenched each time (it was a rather large aspergillum). The only problem was, I was wearing a light summer dress that the wetter it got, the less modest it got. I wasn’t sure I wanted to come out from behind the banner just yet.

 

[Becca3]

A parish I used to attend had a really snooty, grumbly old fellow for an assistant pastor. Father always seemed to be annoyed for no reason, rushed through Mass with as little homily or emotion as possible, and generally acted as if he’d never passed gas in his life.

During the Easter Vigil one year, he was coming around with the holy water and his customary scowl. (Someone here knows the name for the stick with the ball on the end that is used to sprinkle holy water on the congregation.) Anyway, I noticed he was waving the water sprinkling thing with unusual force. The choir member next to me, leaned over and whispered in a cranky voice, “Take…that…stupid…parishoners!” I was trying not to laugh when suddenly the ball on the end of the thing went flying backward over Father’s head and into the congregation behind him, completely drenching him in blessed Easter sacramental and causing much commotion in the pews.

Isn’t Easter a wonderful season?

Yes, this is so funny too!!