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maria29
Guest
Could it be that your father in law thinks that a lot of non Catholics will take Communion even if told not to? Perhaps you should have the priest talk with him.
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housewife
Guest
The religious ceremony is the most important part of a wedding. I would not care if I would have to downsize significantly. I would probably just have the religious ceremony (the male wearing a suit and the female wearing a simple white dress with a veil) and then go eat just the two of us and whoever wants to join us (i.e., deutsch treat). Maybe even make a small reservation at a nice restaurant.
I remember wanting something very simple for my wedding. My father could barely afford renting a tuxedo for himself. He had recently had open heart surgery (about 2 years before) and he did not have the means to pay for my wedding since he was not working at the time. My DH paid for everything. We ended up with a big wedding. I loved it, however, I would have been very happy, too, if it would have been like I mentioned to you on the first paragraph (i.e., plain and simple, yet very meaningful…).
God Bless!
I remember wanting something very simple for my wedding. My father could barely afford renting a tuxedo for himself. He had recently had open heart surgery (about 2 years before) and he did not have the means to pay for my wedding since he was not working at the time. My DH paid for everything. We ended up with a big wedding. I loved it, however, I would have been very happy, too, if it would have been like I mentioned to you on the first paragraph (i.e., plain and simple, yet very meaningful…).
God Bless!
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Eileen_T
Guest
Is he going to make comments like this in years to come to his grandchildren? What an uphill battle you have ahead of you.
I take it your fiancee is not a Catholic? Is she open to going to RCIA?
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Seatuck
Guest
Could be that he doesn’t want to look excluded at his daughter’s wedding. So he wants to make it look like everyone else is excluded also.
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cascherman
Guest
I got married about 3 months ago, and I am very sorry to hear your circumstance.
If it were me, I would speak with her father and tell him that as a Catholic you feel it would be great honor to have the Eucharist distributed at your wedding to anyone who wants it. I would address the fact that it is your wedding (you and your fiance’s ofcourse) and if he really wants to fund the wedding he shouldn’t require it to be his way.
If he says too bad, no Eucharist, I would tell him you’ll handle it on your own and his money is no longer needed. I know that will put a damper on the extravagance but if you and your fiance want it there it should be there. #1- it may make a statement that it is very important, and #2- if he doesn’t concede, the wedding will *mean *much more to you anyways.
If it were me, I would speak with her father and tell him that as a Catholic you feel it would be great honor to have the Eucharist distributed at your wedding to anyone who wants it. I would address the fact that it is your wedding (you and your fiance’s ofcourse) and if he really wants to fund the wedding he shouldn’t require it to be his way.
If he says too bad, no Eucharist, I would tell him you’ll handle it on your own and his money is no longer needed. I know that will put a damper on the extravagance but if you and your fiance want it there it should be there. #1- it may make a statement that it is very important, and #2- if he doesn’t concede, the wedding will *mean *much more to you anyways.
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punisherthunder
Guest
My fiance and I are age 25 and 24 respectively. Both of us have degrees, stable jobs, maturity, and the Church.
As far as I know her father used to be a member of a Pentecostal t type church. It was very anti-Catholic.
He does indeed like me a great deal and knows that I will take great care of his only daughter. It’s just that all this has caught me off guard. How anyone can disrespect the Sacrament…
As far as I know her father used to be a member of a Pentecostal t type church. It was very anti-Catholic.
He does indeed like me a great deal and knows that I will take great care of his only daughter. It’s just that all this has caught me off guard. How anyone can disrespect the Sacrament…
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cascherman
Guest
lol, I am in RCIA, and at my wedding I was up on the alter, my wife received the Eucharist and I did not. So don’t talk to me about left out…
If he wants to be included he should start RCIA and one day he will be.
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masondoggy
Guest
So, it sounds like you have a good relationship with this guy? Maybe the best thing to do would be to sit down with him, calmly, and explain the significance of the Eucharist in the Mass, explain that even during a wedding, a Mass is a Mass and neither the bride and groom, nor any family, get to change the way the Mass works. Explain that you all have options to choose, such as Bible readings (which you could let him choose to compromise), music, unity candle etc. But, because of the sacredness of it, the Eucharist is non-negotiable.My fiance and I are age 25 and 24 respectively. Both of us have degrees, stable jobs, maturity, and the Church.
As far as I know her father used to be a member of a Pentecostal t type church. It was very anti-Catholic.
He does indeed like me a great deal and knows that I will take great care of his only daughter. It’s just that all this has caught me off guard. How anyone can disrespect the Sacrament…
If he still insists on bad- mouthing the Sacrament, it’s time to get firm and make it clear to him that it needs to stop NOW. Your more than willing to discuss the Catholic Faith with him, but you will not tolerate disrespect. Make it clear to him that those types of comments will not be tolerated around your future children either.
If he still insists on bad-mouthing, then maybe you and your fiance need to discuss distancing yourselves from her Dad.
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AHapka
Guest
I would suggest telling him that his money for the wedding is not needed. Tell him that you are proceeding with the wedding irregarless of whether or not he will be contributing. Also, that the way it will be performed will be up to the both of you alone. Therefore the way he would like it done is no longer an issue.
If he chooses to give you money as a wedding present, it would be welcome but the ceremony will not be affected by such decision.
I think the both of you should talk, and I would highly recommend sitting down with him and saying that his money is not needed for anything in your married life and that the two of you will make your financial decisions for yourselves. Tell him that you are not counting on any inheritance, and would be more then happy if he spends all of his money (or gives it away) before he dies.
Trust me, it’ll make your married lives a whole lot easier. Then there will be respect.
If you are not ready to have that talk with him, then she is not truly giving herself to you. She will always be tethered to her dad, and it will cause marital discord.
Andy
If he chooses to give you money as a wedding present, it would be welcome but the ceremony will not be affected by such decision.
I think the both of you should talk, and I would highly recommend sitting down with him and saying that his money is not needed for anything in your married life and that the two of you will make your financial decisions for yourselves. Tell him that you are not counting on any inheritance, and would be more then happy if he spends all of his money (or gives it away) before he dies.
Trust me, it’ll make your married lives a whole lot easier. Then there will be respect.
If you are not ready to have that talk with him, then she is not truly giving herself to you. She will always be tethered to her dad, and it will cause marital discord.
Andy
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