L
lutherlic
Guest
Cataline, I agree with Jacie (and was just about to make the same point, honest). Explain to your boyfriend how important he is to you and any future life together, in that context you have some serious concerns and have been seeking advice to get your head around it. Then show him this thread.
Personally, I agree with others that your boyfriend will have to push back. His mom will need to see that her manipulations only serve to push him away. If that becomes clear to her, I think there is a very good chance that she will change.
FWIW - my wife’s family got along great with me, really well - brothers, grand mom, dad, aunts, cousins, everyone - except her mom. I don’t think that anything I could do would have changed that, but being young, stupid and arrogant at the time didn’t help. This continued up to and including our wedding day. As my bride was literally preparing to walk down the aisle, her mom told her she could still change her mind. Immediately afterwards her mom said to me “she’s your problem now” - her way of saying the war was over. From that moment on, my MIL has been completely accepting, genuinely nice, considerate and loving. It was an instantaneous, 180 degree turn-around (I was even a little confused by it). I have been married now for 32 years. There is hope.
Personally, I agree with others that your boyfriend will have to push back. His mom will need to see that her manipulations only serve to push him away. If that becomes clear to her, I think there is a very good chance that she will change.
FWIW - my wife’s family got along great with me, really well - brothers, grand mom, dad, aunts, cousins, everyone - except her mom. I don’t think that anything I could do would have changed that, but being young, stupid and arrogant at the time didn’t help. This continued up to and including our wedding day. As my bride was literally preparing to walk down the aisle, her mom told her she could still change her mind. Immediately afterwards her mom said to me “she’s your problem now” - her way of saying the war was over. From that moment on, my MIL has been completely accepting, genuinely nice, considerate and loving. It was an instantaneous, 180 degree turn-around (I was even a little confused by it). I have been married now for 32 years. There is hope.