Gaining 'comfort' with sex as a newlywed

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Annika said:
No, we’ve tried it. Many times, many kinds.

I seems to have the opposite of the intended effect on me.

And we also really, really take our time. We’re just freaks - me anyway. DH doesn’t have a “problem” finishing, he stops on purpose because it’s not going to happen where the church says it should.

You’re very lucky it’s so easy for you.
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You don’t have to answer this question on the board, but have you tried various positions? There are some that can be much more comfortable for the woman. :o

Also, I would seek out a second opinion from a different Doc on why it’s hurting. It shouldn’t hurt! If it did, humanity would be extinct!!! 😛 😉
 
Jennifer_J said:
You don’t have to answer this question on the board, but have you tried various positions? There are some that can be much more comfortable for the woman. :o

Also, I would seek out a second opinion from a different Doc on why it’s hurting. It shouldn’t hurt! If it did, humanity would be extinct!!! 😛 😉
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Believe me, our bedroom looks like cirque du soleil 😃 We’re not shy at all with each other, and don’t embarass. It’s good to be married to your best friend.

I appreciate the advice. We do have better luck with some positions than others. From what my gyn has told me, I have an abnormally narrow channel. I don’t know what to do about that 🤷
 
Annika said:
Believe me, our bedroom looks like cirque du soleil 😃 We’re not shy at all with each other, and don’t embarass. It’s good to be married to your best friend.

I appreciate the advice. We do have better luck with some positions than others. From what my gyn has told me, I have an abnormally narrow channel. I don’t know what to do about that 🤷
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I would think there is some physical therapy that might help, but I don’t know 🤷 that’s why I suggested a second opinion or maybe a specialist…
 
Jennifer_J said:
I would think there is some physical therapy that might help, but I don’t know 🤷 that’s why I suggested a second opinion or maybe a specialist…
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Second this…I would think in the 21st century there would be something they could do about this problem! 😃 Seriously, it doesn’t seem right for your doc to say, “oops, you’re just too narrow” and leave it at that.
 
I’ll see a third doctor (this is the 2nd). You’re right, it doesn’t seem right. Though I worry any “therapy” won’t be in line with church teachings.
 
I have no way to post this without being graphic but isn’t it possible to get pregnant without intercourse? If the man ejaculates near the opening of the vagina, it is possible for the vagina to seep up some of the sperm? There have been women in the past who have gotten pregnant this way.
 
Annika said:
No, we’ve tried it. Many times, many kinds.

I seems to have the opposite of the intended effect on me.
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Do you have more pain with the lubricants? I wonder if there’s an allergy or sensitivity that’s exacerbating the existing issues. DH and I can use Astroglide but I’ve had painful reactions to some of the cheaper brands. Nothing kills the mood faster than that. 😊
 
I just wanted to chime in and say that I had the same problem as you for the first few years of marriage - my sister-in-law did as well. It was down right painful and not fun at all…even with loads of foreplay. It’s more common than you think! Also, I am allergic to many lubricants but finally found that the “Astroglide” brand worked best. I will tell you that things changed completely after we had our first child. And changed even more after we had our second child. WOW. 😃 Now we’re a couple of old married people (15 years) with 6 kids!
My advice is to be patient and give it time. Having a patient husband helps a lot too! My husband is the BEST!
God Bless you and your new marriage. I think it’s commendable that you stayed chaste until your wedding day!:cool:
 
I just wanted to thank you all for your warm posts, sympathies, and helpful replies.

I spoke with my husband, and we’ve decided to take advantage of phase III and phase I for exploring with the completed act, and use phase II, however long, as a time for extra prayer together (that is, until God has said that it’s time to stop postponing!)

Unfortunately, it does still hurt. We have tried lubricants, etc., but my problem, I fear, is similar to Annika’s. It’s very frustrating to wait so long for your husband’s embrace only to find it as a source of stress and a spiritual test that is, in many ways, worse than the waiting. I can only hope that time, experience, and prayer will heal the tension.

I plan on buying the book by Popcak, by the way, I read a really good article of his in CCL’s latest Family Foundations Magazine.

Thank you again for the replies.
 
I’ve found lubricants to give me UTI’s. The only one I’ll use now, and it works better than any product, is coconut oil - unrefined, food grade of course. Wonderful!

In my own dyspareunia, I’ve begun to realize it is not as uncommon as I thought. There are supposed to be two sources of lubrication - male and female. When the woman doesn’t have hers (b/c of breastfeeding, menopause, or anxiety or whatever), the man’s should still be there … under the foreskin.

No foreskin, no lube. 😦

:console:
 
Had never tried any lubricant before.

However, we are trying to conceive and I have low CM, my RE recommended Preseed. It is sperm friendly, all other lubricants kill sperm.

Strangely only one store carries Preseed in the GTA. When I went to pick it up, the lady in the store said many had come in that day for it that were TTCing. And some swore that they concieved using it the 1st time so had to use it for Baby#2 as well…

Here’s hoping it works for us 😉

preseed.com/
 
Gwyn said:
However, we are trying to conceive and I have low CM, my RE recommended Preseed. It is sperm friendly, all other lubricants kill sperm.
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I’ve heard of preseed, too. We’re going to try some of the cheaper drugstore brands before that, I think–but maybe when we’re TTC we’ll use it!

I had always heard that lubricants aren’t spermicidal (unless they are labeled as such, obviously), but they can affect the motility of sperm and can therefore be problematic for couples TTC who already might have some fertility issues. Please let me know if you’ve heard differently!

Sidenote: I’ve also heard that coconut oil works well…
 
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