Gay couple confirmed?

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damooster

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I was just informed that a guy I went through RCIA with last year was apparently openly gay (his sponsor was his boyfriend). I don’t hold anything personally against homosexuals but I was wondering if an openly gay couple would have been confirmed at any other parish. This parish is ultra-progressive, so this doesn’t surprise me. I guess I’m just curious as to how this would have normally been handled.
 
As hard as it may be, my guess is he would have been spoken to about it and the teaching of the Church on the matters (that homosexuals must be celibate) and not be allowed to continue until he accepted it. He shouldn’t be recieving any Sacraments, from confirmation or the Eucharist while living in Mortal Sin.
 
GeorgeSword said:
As hard as it may be, my guess is he would have been spoken to about it and the teaching of the Church on the matters (that homosexuals must be celibate) and not be allowed to continue until he accepted it. He shouldn’t be recieving any Sacraments, from confirmation or the Eucharist while living in Mortal Sin.
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I am going to go out on a limb here and disagree with you.

The OP states he went through RCIA with the person in question, and states he was “just informed” that the fellow is “openly” gay. If going through 9 months of RCIA with the guy, the OP didn’t know he was “openly gay”, I daresay that person was not at the time “openly gay”. And one should not be denied confirmation on a “hunch” because he seems fey.

On the other hand, for what it is worth, a lady in my RCIA class was living with her (male) sponsor, unmarried. yes, she confirmed.

That’s my .02.
 
He should have been allowed into the class, sure, because he clearly wishes to learn about the Faith. The RCIA teacher and the priest who confirmed him had to be aware that he was a practicing homosexual, however, if his partner was his sponsor. And so he should not have been given the Sacrament of Confirmation while in a sinful relationship, nor should the woman you mentioned.
 
SpaceNeedle said:
I am going to go out on a limb here and disagree with you.

The OP states he went through RCIA with the person in question, and states he was “just informed” that the fellow is “openly” gay. If going through 9 months of RCIA with the guy, the OP didn’t know he was “openly gay”, I daresay that person was not at the time “openly gay”. And one should not be denied confirmation on a “hunch” because he seems fey.

On the other hand, for what it is worth, a lady in my RCIA class was living with her (male) sponsor, unmarried. yes, she confirmed.

That’s my .02.
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I should have explained the situation a little better but I’m at work and did not have the time to properly clarify.

He and his sponsor told the RCIA director and pastor that they were gay and that they were a couple (that’s what I meant by openly gay). I did not know because I joined the class a few weeks late and was not there when they told everyone they were a couple. But apparently they lived together throughout the process and still do.
 
It doesn’t really matter. If the priest knew that they were a homosexual couple and confirmed them, he did a grave wrong. He is showing indifference to their sins and allowing them to partake in the Sacraments. I don’t mean to give too hard advice, I understand your situation and you may have friends in the Parish, but I would be uncomfortable there. I would try to find one that actually lives and teaches the Catholic faith if I were you.

EDIT: I also want to add that you need to understand this isn’t because I or the Church have anything against homosexuals, either. The fact is is that according to Scripture and Sacred Tradition, however, it is sinful and they are living in a sin. If we really love them we must not approve of their sins, but rather tell them of their sinfulness and try to lead them out of it.
 
GeorgeSword said:
It doesn’t really matter. If the priest knew that they were a homosexual couple and confirmed them, he did a grave wrong.
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Can you reference Canon law on this matter? I would be curious what it says, specifically.
 
damooster said:
I should have explained the situation a little better but I’m at work and did not have the time to properly clarify.

He and his sponsor told the RCIA director and pastor that they were gay and that they were a couple (that’s what I meant by openly gay). I did not know because I joined the class a few weeks late and was not there when they told everyone they were a couple. But apparently they lived together throughout the process and still do.
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Interesting. That’s certainly a strange icebreaker for an RCIA class! 🤷 Huh. I am going to be mulling this over for awhile.
 
SpaceNeedle said:
Can you reference Canon law on this matter? I would be curious what it says, specifically.
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I’m not exactly a doctor of Canon Law, so I’ll be honest and say I doubt it. Others might be able to, though. I can show you the Catechism and Scripture, though. Part 3 section two chapter 2 article 6 paragraph 2357 deals with the subject. We are told that they are called to chastity, that their actions are gravely depraved and that under no circumstances are we to approve of them.

We are told in Scripture not to give what is holy to dogs. That isn’t to say homosexuals are to be treated as dogs, it is simply saying that we shouldn’t give holy things to the unholy. This verse is used in the Didache to mean that the Eucharist is not to be given to the unbaptized, but it can be applied to all the Sacraments. If someone is unrepentant of their sinful actions and has no intention to end them, they should not be given the Sacrament of Confirmation.

Have they remained in the Church beyond this? Are they receiving the Eucharist now?
 
damooster said:
I was just informed that a guy I went through RCIA with last year was apparently openly gay (his sponsor was his boyfriend). I don’t hold anything personally against homosexuals but I was wondering if an openly gay couple would have been confirmed at any other parish. This parish is ultra-progressive, so this doesn’t surprise me. I guess I’m just curious as to how this would have normally been handled.
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unless you know for absolute fact, and I don’t see how you could know unless you are the priest in charge, that the pastor and catechists were fully aware of the lifestyle and the relationship, we are obliged in Christian charity to assume that they were not and that the candidate lied about it. He may not even have lied, he may have been led to believe by well-meaning priests and catechists who were worried about tolerance and being “pastoral” that the situation is acceptable, in which case Jesus has the very worse condemnation for those catechists and priests.

How can it happen? Just that way. Candidates unfortunately lie or mislead about their living situations all the time. Catechists can refer them to the priest for pastoral counselling if they have doubts about this or any other aspect of their readiness for sacraments, but if the priest tells me they can be confirmed I have no authority to say otherwise.

if the priest went even further and not only condoned the situation, but allowed it to be made public to the rest of the class his disservice and consequent culpability are even greater. Jesus spoke of gehenna in reference to exactly such failure to teach the truth.
 
Do you know if they have sex? That seems to be issue, not that they openly share that they are gay. If two men (or women) are gay, and live together and are celibate, is there even a sin?
 
danielkennedyjr said:
Do you know if they have sex? That seems to be issue, not that they openly share that they are gay. If two men (or women) are gay, and live together and are celibate, is there even a sin?
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If they are living together in a relationship where one would ordinarily assume that sex is going on, then even if it isn’t, they are still committing the sin of scandal (role-modeling sinful behaviour) even if there is no sexual sin actually taking place.
 
What if they lived together solely as roommates? Both gay but not in a relationship? Must homosexuals live alone? If living singly and rooming with a female that too could be construed as a scandal, correct?
 
what is more important is that OP like other new Catholics in a similar position, who observe at least apparent misbehavior and even sin, not have their own faith shaken. That is why it is so serious of the priest involved was teaching incorrectly. It is also important that candidates not compare themselves to anyone else in the class, or presume to judge them, those are simply matters beyond our competence. We need to direct all our attention to conquering our own sins and temptations. Scandal is indeed a problem in the Church today, as it has always been, or there would not be such strong warnings about it. Hold fast to your own faith, and recognize that even when a truthful message is delivered by an unworthy messenger, the content is still true.
 
GeorgeSword said:
It doesn’t really matter. If the priest knew that they were a homosexual couple and confirmed them, he did a grave wrong. He is showing indifference to their sins and allowing them to partake in the Sacraments. I don’t mean to give too hard advice, I understand your situation and you may have friends in the Parish, but I would be uncomfortable there. I would try to find one that actually lives and teaches the Catholic faith if I were you.
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I left that parish after my Confirmation. I did return last Saturday because I heard they have a new head pastor, but things have gotten worse. I don’t want to list everything, but it’s just not the right environment for me.
EDIT: I also want to add that you need to understand this isn’t because I or the Church have anything against homosexuals, either. The fact is is that according to Scripture and Sacred Tradition, however, it is sinful and they are living in a sin. If we really love them we must not approve of their sins, but rather tell them of their sinfulness and try to lead them out of it.
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I understand. Thanks for wanting to help a new Catholic out. 🙂
 
puzzleannie said:
unless you know for absolute fact, and I don’t see how you could know unless you are the priest in charge, that the pastor and catechists were fully aware of the lifestyle and the relationship, we are obliged in Christian charity to assume that they were not and that the candidate lied about it. He may not even have lied, he may have been led to believe by well-meaning priests and catechists who were worried about tolerance and being “pastoral” that the situation is acceptable, in which case Jesus has the very worse condemnation for those catechists and priests.
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Apparently when the RCIA process first started, they introduced themselves as a gay couple living together to everyone. Again, I was not there but other people I have talked to have told me the same thing.
 
It would be very hard for me, and I will probably come across as being cruel, but I would personally consider reporting the parish to your bishop, if they are extremely liberal. By giving the Eucharist to unrepentant sinners, they are blaspheming and defiling the Body, not to mention leading well meaning people into false beliefs and approving of sin, which is not at all nice, but rather a very cruel thing to do.
 
GeorgeSword said:
It would be very hard for me, and I will probably come across as being cruel, but I would personally consider reporting the parish to your bishop, if they are extremely liberal. By giving the Eucharist to unrepentant sinners, they are blaspheming and defiling the Body, not to mention leading well meaning people into false beliefs and approving of sin, which is not at all nice, but rather a very cruel thing to do.
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I’ve thought about it, but I don’t know if I have the tools and knowledge to do something. I would want to know that I was absolutely correct about everything before I wrote a letter.
 
Have you spoken to another priest about it, at your new parish? He should be able to give you some solid advice on the matter. If it is bothering you though, it shouldn’t be hard to write to the bishop’s office. I know it may seem kind of hard, but it sounds like this parish could be misleading a lot of people.
 
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