Gay Cousin

[isaacalsop]

So I have a gay cousin who I think is 15, and Im 13. Now my cousin has been calling himself bisexual for a few years and i let him be, but recently professed himself to be a total gay. Well we had some discussion on it, but i was still tolerant. Now he posts on fb tons of gay rights, anti family things, and i refuse to be silent longer. He needs to learn, but each time I talk about it he gets increasingly more emotional about it. So do i. I need a) prayers and b)advice, or else a family civil war will erupt. I am totally for family and he is totally pro gay and he says “nuetral” on abortion…so pretty much pro choice. Im sick of his ****. What should I do? (He lives in Nevada, I in Boise, we talk over fb)
Thanks, Isaac

 

[ClearWater]

So I have a gay cousin who I think is 15, and Im 13. Now my cousin has been calling himself bisexual for a few years and i let him be, but recently professed himself to be a total gay. Well we had some discussion on it, but i was still tolerant. Now he posts on fb tons of gay rights, anti family things, and i refuse to be silent longer. He needs to learn, but each time I talk about it he gets increasingly more emotional about it. So do i. I need a) prayers and b)advice, or else a family civil war will erupt. I am totally for family and he is totally pro gay and he says “neutral” on abortion…so pretty much pro choice. Im sick of his ****. What should I do? (He lives in Nevada, I in Boise, we talk over fb)
Thanks, Isaac

If you’ve already talked to him, again and again, then he knows your position. You know his. At present, I doubt you’ll change him or that he’ll change you. So, if you would like to have a relationship with him, keep some peace in the family, you’ll probably need to call a truce of sorts.

You can avoid certain topics related to homosexuality, abortion.

Agree to disagree. Make a pact that you will not discuss these issues. Talk about school, whatever, but homosexuality and abortion would be off limits.

If another issue crops up that causes strife, make it off limits, and change the subject.

If FaceBook is too much, then just do e-mails.

 

[esieffe]

Hi isaacalsop,

Your cousin’s life has not even started. While you have every right to be alarmed and concerned, there is still much time for him to “grow out of this.” I have seen this type of thing before with kids that have developmentally delayed problems.

The troublesome issues you referenced in you post, surrounds the fact that he has reached out to a political “apparatus” that is meant or should be meant for adults. For this reason, you have every right to be concerned.

My main focus, if I were you, would be to encourage him to focus on being a kid, and not embrace the adult world of politics, which is really what he is doing. Given time and some level of isolation from the world of “causes and rights” he could possibly grow out of this.

How do his parents feel about this? He is WAY to young to be involved with the world of activism. He needs time to develop, and stay away from poisonous influences. If he grows up without these influences and still embraces his professed attraction, then it can deal with it then.

I would want to see that he is given time to grow out of this. Some kids with this issue do, others don’t. You and I have no control over that. His parents however, do have control over him “picking up the cross” of some political machine at the age of 15!

My prayers and thoughts are with you both. Good for you for being such a concerned family member and sharing your troubles with us! Remember, in the end, this is his battle, you have only so much influence on the outcome. Make sure that your heart does not become hardened in the process of caring, ok?

Blessings to you all.
-E

 

[PaulfromIowa]

I would say that 13 and 15 year olds should not be on Facebook at all. Your parents and his parents should be seeing his posts. He is clearly under very evil influences. Don’t argue with him. If he cannot refrain from evil posts, you may have to block his posts entirely. Don’t forget to pray for him.

 

[Captain_America]

So I have a gay cousin who I think is 15, and Im 13. Now my cousin has been calling himself bisexual for a few years and i let him be, but recently professed himself to be a total gay. Well we had some discussion on it, but i was still tolerant. Now he posts on fb tons of gay rights, anti family things, and i refuse to be silent longer. He needs to learn, but each time I talk about it he gets increasingly more emotional about it. So do i. I need a) prayers and b)advice, or else a family civil war will erupt. I am totally for family and he is totally pro gay and he says “nuetral” on abortion…so pretty much pro choice. Im sick of his ****. What should I do? (He lives in Nevada, I in Boise, we talk over fb)
Thanks, Isaac

I think that’s an awfully young age to be self-defining one’s sexuality, don’t you?

 

[isaacalsop]

no we are not too young to be on fb, not to young to be activists, not to young to be concerned with faith or politics, and its THIS very age area that one defines their sexuality. it happens now. so no…not too young…

 

[DMC12]

you seem to not be yet ready to take on this matter, i suggest you pray and go to a good priest for advice, your efforts might backfire, remember that one very important part of fraternal correction is to see that you do not make the sinner worst. maybe you could call a truce. I bet he hates family because he sees it as an impediment for him to be happy, as an enemy. IMHO what you must do, is to show him that it is not, the same as the Church, we are not his enemies. but how would you do it, that is a good question.

 

[mikeeh]

I would just leave it alone and avoid topics that would lead to fighting. I have two homosexual cousins (brother and sister), and I know plenty of people who have “come-out” after high school. It’s probably because I went to a school for creative and performing arts, the arts tend to attract a “diverse” group of people. Most of my family had a feeling my cousins were homosexual, and most of my friends had the same feeling about my male cousin when we were still in high school (I had the feeling since middle school). My neighbors’ son is also homosexual, my mom claims she knew years before he came-out because he always wanted to play house and school with my sister, rather than play outside with the other neighborhood boys. It’s funny because I can talk about girls and actresses with my female cousin. Just remember we all have our cross to bear. Love the sinner, hate the sin.

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

So I have a gay cousin who I think is 15, and Im 13. Now my cousin has been calling himself bisexual for a few years and i let him be, but recently professed himself to be a total gay. Well we had some discussion on it, but i was still tolerant. Now he posts on fb tons of gay rights, anti family things, and i refuse to be silent longer. He needs to learn, but each time I talk about it he gets increasingly more emotional about it. So do i. I need a) prayers and b)advice, or else a family civil war will erupt. I am totally for family and he is totally pro gay and he says “nuetral” on abortion…so pretty much pro choice. Im sick of his ****. What should I do? (He lives in Nevada, I in Boise, we talk over fb)
Thanks, Isaac

There really is nothing positive you can do except stop antagonizing him and pray for him.

I think that’s an awfully young age to be self-defining one’s sexuality, don’t you?

It’s usually pretty apparent to the person by 15.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

you seem to not be yet ready to take on this matter, i suggest you pray and go to a good priest for advice, your efforts might backfire, remember that one very important part of fraternal correction is to see that you do not make the sinner worst. maybe you could call a truce. I bet he hates family because he sees it as an impediment for him to be happy, as an enemy. IMHO what you must do, is to show him that it is not, the same as the Church, we are not his enemies. but how would you do it, that is a good question.

This is not a case of fraternal correction. To “correct” someone presumes that they have the same opinions you have about right and wrong.

The OP should be concerned with converting his cousin, not correcting him. And it is pretty much impossible to convert someone by talking about politics or morality. Conversion is about encountering the person of Christ.

 

[SMGS127]

This is not a case of fraternal correction. To “correct” someone presumes that they have the same opinions you have about right and wrong.

The OP should be concerned with converting his cousin, not correcting him. And it is pretty much impossible to convert someone by talking about politics or morality. Conversion is about encountering the person of Christ.

 

[ThinkingSapien]

So I have a gay cousin who I think is 15, and Im 13. Now my cousin has been calling himself bisexual for a few years and i let him be, but recently professed himself to be a total gay. …] I am totally for family and he is totally pro gay and he says “nuetral” on abortion…so pretty much pro choice. Im sick of his ****. What should I do? (He lives in Nevada, I in Boise, we talk over fb)
Thanks, Isaac

My advice is to simply unsubscribe from his Facebook feed (not unfriend) so the messages don’t show up in your news feed. The should help out with the frustration you have. If he wants to converse about issues of serialize and if you are not comfortable talking about those then honestly say so. Otherwise talking about the things in which you both have interest. Trying to change him will only cause more disagreement.