Gay daughter - keeping a loving connection

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Originally Posted by jborgram
Hello all - I am hoping to find some support and advice with this site. I don’t know where to turn for advice with sound Catholic principals. My daughter is gay, and just got engaged. We have always had a open, loving dialogue, and she knows I love her, but do not approve of the gay lifestyle, or accept gay marriage as valid. I do not want to alienate her, or feel that I have to change my moral beliefs in order to be supportive of her. Any insights or advice will be appreciated.
 
What is that saying… “Love the sinner, hate the sin”? Just keep loving her and pray for her. Whatever you do, don’t ever give the idea that you are changing your views to suit her lifestyle, but also don’t make her feel that you don’t love her anymore. That is one of the most difficult things I have had to do with my friends who are gay ~~ convincing them that I DO still love them and I don’t care that they are gay, and that the problem I have is when they ACT on it. From my understanding, being gay is not sinful in itself; it is the homosexual act that makes it sinful (just as sex outside of marriage is a sin for heterosexual people!) and that gay people are called to a life of chastity. Much easier said than done, so keep praying for her and I will pray for you both! 🙂
 
what would you do if your daughter was straight, but living in sin, using contraception in marriage, mastrubated occasionaly, would you love her any less, you might be worried for her, and spend much time praying for her soul,
if she is in a rerlationship or acting on her desires give her a green scapular, explain that it goes against your beliefs but you will always love her.
 
Delaine75 said:
What is that saying… “Love the sinner, hate the sin”? Just keep loving her and pray for her. Whatever you do, don’t ever give the idea that you are changing your views to suit her lifestyle, but also don’t make her feel that you don’t love her anymore. That is one of the most difficult things I have had to do with my friends who are gay ~~ convincing them that I DO still love them and I don’t care that they are gay, and that the problem I have is when they ACT on it. From my understanding, being gay is not sinful in itself; it is the homosexual act that makes it sinful (just as sex outside of marriage is a sin for heterosexual people!) and that gay people are called to a life of chastity. Much easier said than done, so keep praying for her and I will pray for you both! 🙂
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Excellent answer. 👍
 
The best advice I can give is to find out about the organization Courage and EnCouorage. Both could be helpful.
🙂
 
We have the same problem and as far as I am concerned you do not have to change your lifestyle one iota. Continue on with your religious belief’s as an example - always loving her and abhoring the sin - mutual respect is the order of the day here. In our case, our daughter even comes to Mass with us on occasion, so please never give up hope.
 
Edit: somehow posted a response to a completely different thread… oops…
 
faithfully said:
Making a person feel welcome has to do with your behavior towards the person.

Will you make her not feel welcome by all the rest of your actions and conversations? Will it be made clear she is a 3rd wheel. It’s her corrupting your mindless son? She’s only there because your son is an idiot. Making her feel welcome really doesn’t have to do with sleeping arrangements.

Short of a really messed up woman, many women are not too keen on having sex in the room next to their boyfriends parents. Should she say anything to you, tell her you believe her son owes her the respect of marriage in order to share her bed. You’re not thrilled in his decision to not make a commitment to a woman before he plays house. Put it on him, not her. If you have to. And that in your house, he will act respectfully towards women of the opposite sex.

And then tell her you’re so glad she could come and you can’t wait to do xyz with her.
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I think you posted this on the wrong thread.
 
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