Gay people around my children

[Joannm]

My uncle is gay and neither me or my siblings realized it until we were young adults. He would bring around men but we just thought they were his friends. No one ever mentioned he was gay and we never even thought to ask. My own kids, now young adults, also never mentioned anything regarding their great uncle even though he has had a partner for over 20 years now.

 

[Iheartcoffee]

I think it will just be really important to have a very open discussion with your kids so that they know about loving the person and not their sins. I have a family member that is gay. He and his partner are really wonderful people and great fun to visit with, but that doesn’t mean I have to like their decisions.

I have found myself even thinking that both of them would probably make good husbands to some women if they would just be attracted to women. They have good jobs and a taste in decorating and furniture that most women would appreciate. There would never be a man cave in those houses!

Be open with your kids and emphasize the difference between agreeing with people and loving people.

 

[buffalo]

Your family and children has to be your most important consideration. If you think it is harmful to your children then stay away.

 

[EasterJoy]

Your family and children has to be your most important consideration. If you think it is harmful to your children then stay away.

You do have to balance the possibility that they will misread what you are doing as a lesson that some people are not acceptable as people. It is inappropriate to teach that to a child, and it is important to avoid doing so unintentionally.

 

[Et_Cetera]

My brother is gay. He isn’t rude at all, and has brought his partner to family gatherings. They aren’t much into PDA. I personally see nothing wrong with it. Kids are smart. Sometimes I think sheltering kids does more harm than good. I have friends that were very sheltered as kids and they went to the completely opposite extreme and rebelled against everything.

This.

People need to understand that the really sheltered kids crack in the real world or never get out of their bubble.

 

[buffalo]

You do have to balance the possibility that they will misread what you are doing as a lesson that some people are not acceptable as people. It is inappropriate to teach that to a child, and it is important to avoid doing so unintentionally.

Parents need to be discreet and judicious. There are ways to avoid situations. Protect you children and the rest will work out.

 

[buffalo]

This.

People need to understand that the really sheltered kids crack in the real world or never get out of their bubble.

Source?

 

[vera_dicere]

My mum’s best friend’s sister has same sex attraction. It wasn’t until I was 22 that I realised they were not just “flat mates”.

I saw their affections at various functions, but they were quite respectful being around such large numbers of Catholics, so I just thought they were good friends. Perhaps you should just do that, if your kids ask, tell them they’re just “flat mates” or whatever the term for people who live together platonically or as friends is where you’re from.

Of course, being as saturated as our culture currently is with homosexuality, your children might ask more direct questions, and if that’s the case, do what some of the other posters have said. Tell them about marriage and the Church’s teaching for it, age appropriate of course.

Perhaps, saying something along the lines of some people know God very well, and they know what he wants them to do, and they know that God wants a man to be married to a woman - becasue that’s the only way babies can be made, and God wants more babies. However, some people don’t know God very well, and so they live in a way that God wouldn’t want them to live, and its our responsibility as Christians to be kind to them, and if they ask us how to know God we tell them, and if they don’t, we just live very well and be very good so they can see God is in our lives.

 

[EasterJoy]

*Most gays I know are very rude, talking about favors they did for other men, and they are really uncharitable when you have a differing opinion, that doesn’t align with theirs. They spit *

I’m sorry to hear that and it’s been my experience to find out people are people.

Yes. I’d say that it is wise to keep children away from people who have no discretion when talking about sex or who glorify immorality or who are simply vulgar in speech or action, for that matter, but that isn’t something that goes with one sexual orientation or the other. That has to do with whether I feel the people in question exhibit some basic level of propriety. A person might not have any culpability for the way they are–for instance, they might have a brain disorder and yell all the time or act a bit unhinged–and yet have issues that make them too difficult for young children to be around.

I think it more likely that there will be a situation where young kids ought not be there. For instance, in some families, it is predictable that some of the guests will drink too much at a wedding, and it isn’t good for kids to be around that. They can be allowed around people who have been known to abuse alcohol, just not while the people could reasonably be expected to choose to abuse it or if the people insist on glorifying alcohol abuse even when they’re not actually drinking. Some people who are fine on Christmas morning are not people you’d want near your kids on New Year’s Eve.

That is the issue that I would sort out: that is, whether the behavior will be acceptable around the kids, not whether behavior elsewhere is acceptable, particularly if it is a family member.

 

[Uknowhoo]

Don’t have kids yet but I have thought about similar situations like this. As someone pointed out, sheltering them won’t do them any good. I feel that everyone deserves respect because, after all, we’re all human beings. Talking to your kids seems like the best way to go.

 

[EasterJoy]

Don’t have kids yet but I have thought about similar situations like this. As someone pointed out, sheltering them won’t do them any good. I feel that everyone deserves respect because, after all, we’re all human beings. Talking to your kids seems like the best way to go.

Well, it depends. No, you can’t bring your child up thinking that no one ever acts or thinks differently than their parents do. Having said that, there are situations where failing to “shelter” your child–for instance, keeping them from witnessing physical, verbal or emotional abuse–is itself child abuse. Obviously, it is also not beneficial to a child to have their innocence violated at an age when they had a right to remain innocent.

It is beneficial to children to know that you regard all other human beings as human beings, without regard to their prior behavior. That isn’t the same as pretending that it benefits your children to totally lack any discrimination when it comes to who you socialize with, not even discriminating in favor of those who show self-control over those who choose to be provocative and demand to have their choices not only tolerated, but openly validated. There gets to be a point where that crosses a line into complicity, and that is not appropriate.