Getting along with extended family

[workinprogress8]

How do you overcome feeling EXTREMELY uncomfortable around extended family?

I’m mostly uncomfortable with people people in my family have married. I just feel like although they have been married for a long time, that they are still constantly judging me. Quite frankly, I feel this way, because I might be overcritical of them. I certainly don’t feel this way with all of my extended family. Sometimes I even feel more comfortable with certain members of my extended family than I do my blood realitives.

I just would like any suggestions on how to overcome uncomforatblness with extended family. If you need any clarifications, just ask.

Thanks for your help!

 

[La_Chiara]

It would be helpful to understand what they are judging you on (your lifestyle, your religion, your personality), and some sense of your age and theirs. Are we talking about cousins or siblings and their spouses? Are you a teen or a young adult?

 

[workinprogress8]

La Chiara:

It would be helpful to understand what they are judging you on (your lifestyle, your religion, your personality), and some sense of your age and theirs. Are we talking about cousins or siblings and their spouses? Are you a teen or a young adult?

I’m a teenager, and I mainly talking about spouses of extended family members, ie: aunts and their husbands, uncles and their wives, cousin’s spouses. I know that might seem a little weird to be worried about getting along with such extended family, but we’re a close family so I do see them a lot.

As for what they judge me on, I really don’t know, maybe they don’t judge me, but I just can’t seem to shake this uncomfortable feeling when I’m around them. One thing I know is that it’s not religion, because we’re all Catholic and go to mass regularly.

 

[ridesawhitehors]

work(name removed by moderator)rogress ~

Your feelings of uncomfort around extended family is Gods way of preparing you for having in-laws. So it is a normal part of life and you will probably have a big family of your own someday.

Seriously ~ Don’t worry about it. I think what you are going through is normal. When your a teenager, many of your older and extended relatives are either kooky, eccentric, boring, or otherwise repulsive. Just try to have fun with it, notice what makes them unique, give them pet nicknames, and do funny impersonations of them. This way, they will become endearing to you and you will grow closer.
This is what I do with my nutty relatives and in-laws… it makes me like them more.

Ridesawhitehorse ~~~

 

[La_Chiara]

It sounds like there is nothing significant to be worried about. Feelings of discomfort around people who are at different stages of their lives is pretty common for a teen. You are still growing emotionally and psychologically and are not fully the person you will be. I read that emotional and psychological maturity is completed when we are 25 years old. As you get older, you probably will feel more comfortable around people who are different than you are. In the meantime, you might find topics that you can share with them so that you get to know each other better and feel more comfortable with each other. Adults love talking to a young person who wants to chat! Show a genuine interest in another person and you will be delighted with what you learn! God bless you.

 

[Spatulate]

If it is any comfort to you, I struggle with this issue also…my siblings are very different from me, politically and spiritually. Many consider me an orthodox cretin who is overpopulating the earth, to put it mildly.

I have avoided some family gatherings. I know I cannot always do that, so I pray for the Holy Spirit to lead me in my interactions with my family members. I figure they just don’t understand me and my beliefs, so I pray for a calm heart and gentle words.

I am not sure this helps you, but the main thing, I think, is to pray before interacting with those with whom you have a hard time getting along.

 

[Lilyofthevalley]

Work~ I have the same problem with my brother and sister and law. This is what I do, I limit my time with them.
If I see them once every few years that’s enough. I keep it down to a 2 or 3 day visit too.