Getting back on track

[CWard34]

Ok, I am 20 years old and I have been a Catholic my whole life. However, for the last 5 years or so, it has been Catholic in name only, but not practice. My parents divorced when I was 2, and I had to split my time between both houses. My mothers side of the family is not religious at all, they are all catholics but none attended church or really knew much of the religion. My fathers side of the family were some of the most religious people I have ever known. My fathers parents were both Franciscans and he was in the KofC. I went to chruch with them every sunday for 14 years and it made me a better person. When I was about 14 or 15 I stopped going to my dads on the weekend, and thus, stopped going to church. I then fell in with the wrong crowd and my life was mortal sin after mortal sin. For several years I lived a life that I am not proud of, Ive done things that I will regret forever and I have been paying for it ever since. My uncle from my moms side {who posts on here as well} has been a HUGE force in helping me get back on track. But unfortunatly a year and a half ago I moved away from home and where I currently live I have nobody around to guide me. I am trying my hardest to get back in God’s good graces, I truly am sorry for all the things that I have done, and I desperatly want God’s forgiveness, but I dont know how to go about all of this. I know the first step is to go to confession, but I dont know what to say when I get there, im also a little nervous, I know the priest does this all the time, but I am ashamed of what I have done and {I know this is odd} but I dont want him to think less of me. However, going to confession and going back to church weekly isnt really my biggest problem, what I need help with is to stop commiting some of these sins. I sin over and over and I know it is wrong but I have trouble stopping some of them. I know its not enough to just feel sorry and want to be forgiven, we actually have to make an effort, and I really try, but sometimes I am overcome and just dont feel like I am strong enough to say to myself “hey, this is not what God wants me to do, so im not going to do it”, How can I overcome this? how can I find that strength to choose not to do what I know is wrong? If I truly ask for forgiveness, confess my sins, go to church every weekend, live a solid life the way Jesus would want me to, will that be enough? will I be accepted in God’s kingdom?

I figured this is a good place to get this off my chest, because I need help, and you are a fine group of people.

-Chris

 

[Madia]

First off, I recommend reading these two sections from the Diary of St. Faustina:

catholic-forum.com/churches/cathteach/divinemercy_confession.htm
catholic-forum.com/churches/cathteach/divinemercy_sinners.htm

Next I recommend going to a Priest and receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Make sure to confess all mortal sins by kind and (approximate) number for the confession to be valid. The priest should be able to help you out. Also, here’s an examination of conscience:
catholic.org/frz/examen/examen_mortal.htm

Don’t worry about forgetting some sins. God doesn’t expect us to be like a computer and be able to give a perfect list of every single sin we have committed. Just make a good examination of conscience and confess all mortal sins that you remember by kind and approximate number with a firm purpose of amendmant and once you receive absolution your sins are forgiven. If you remember any other mortal sins just bring them up your next confession; however, remember that once you have received valid absolution you are in a state of sanctifying grace and you can only leave that state by committing a mortal sin. If you remember an unconfessed mortal sin after you have received a valid absolution you are not plunged back into a state of mortal sin. Just remember to bring up any mortal sin(s) you remember at your next confession.

Do not be ashamed at confessing any sins, especially sexual sins (masturbation, pre-marital sex, etc.) Just humble yourself and make a good confession and once you have received absolution you should feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulders.

Now, none of us alone have the strength to overcome our sins. Only by God’s grace can we overcome our sins. Don’t worry about that. God will give you the neccesary graces to overcome your sins. He just requires you to make a firm purpose of amadment not to sin anymore. Through the Sacraments you will be given the strength to combat sin. When you receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation, God will give the grace needed to help you overcome sins. Go to confession often and as soon as possible if you fall back into mortal sin. Do not get discouraged by how often you fall, Christ is always waiting to pick you back up a strengthen you with his graces. Make sure to receive Holy Communion as often as possible as long as you are in a state of sanctifying grace (it is a grave sin to receive Communion in a state of mortal sin). Make sure to attend Mass on Sunday/Holy Days of Obligation. Even if you are in a state of mortal sin and cannot receive Communion you are still required to be there or else you commit a grave sin.

I highly recommend a devotion to Our Lady. Start simpy by following the instructions on the following website and praying three Hail Marys in the morning and evening to preserve you from mortal sin:
catholic-church.org/grace/marian/3-hail-marys.htm

Next, read the book “True Devotion to Mary” by St Louis De Montfort:
ewtn.com/library/Montfort/TRUEDEVO.HTM

If you decide to buy a hard copy of the book then try to avoid the Tan edition which translates “worship” instead of “venerate”.

Finally, when you are ready, make an act of consecration to Our Lady. Choose whatever one you like; there’s one on the website with the three Hail Marys.

These steps should help you begin your journey back toward God. Although the path is hard, there is true joy in doing God’s will. God will always strengthen you for the task ahead so keep turning toward Him no matter how many times you fall.

May God Bless you.

 

[Jayson]

I am 23 and I only came back into the church fully at the beginning of the year. Trust me when I say this, it is going to be very difficult for you to be as good as you want to be starting out. You have developed a lot of bad habits and have been taught a lot of things that are contrary to the teachings of the Church. This is going to be a struggle.

That being said, you can overcome all of these things with the grace of God. You are going to have to make a lot of confessions starting out, but please don’t be discouraged. We learn from our failings as well as our successes.

I found that I was very hung up on sin starting out and forgot about mercy. You have to abhor sin, but realize that it’s source is within us. Through frequent confession and communion you will find things become easier and you will grow in your relatioship with Christ.

I pray that you really give this a go, and do not give up. Nothing will be as rewarding as the journey on which you are about to embark.

 

[x4us]

Dear Chris - May the Lord bless you richly as you draw closer to Him! Regarding confession, is there somewhere where you live that has private confession (in a confession booth) - that way it’s anonymous. If that isn’t available where you live, would you feel more confortable going to a different parish and making your confession to a priest who doesn’t know you? I’m a convert to Catholicism, and my first confession was full of mortal sins. I felt most comfortable going to a Church w/ the confession booths and a priest I didn’t know. The most important thing is that you do confess, and soon - the longer you go without confession, the longer it will take to really get back on the right track.

Also, please realize that the saints who have gone before us will pray for us - and their prayers are very effective. Ask your parton saint, Saint Michael the Archangel, and all the holy men and women to pray for you, that you will turn back to God. Don’t worry about the wording of your prayers - just talk to them as if they were trusted family members (they are, since we’re all a part of God’s family) and ask for their prayers that you will return to the path to God.

As far as continuing to sin - are you willing to break away from people in your life who are having a bad influence on you? It will be very, very hard - but they are poisoning you - and you need to get away from their bad influence. If you are a student, is there a Catholic group on campus that you could get involved with - or another group that would help lead you in the right direction?

Finally, my life has improved dramaticly on many levels after seeing a Catholic counsellor. There was a fund at my Church to make sure that no one was turned away if they could not afford to see a counsellor. If any of your sins involve addictions (sexual sins, porn, alcohol, drugs, etc.) a trained professional will be of great assistance to you.

Also, it has helped my peace of mind greatly to spend some time each week sitting by the Blessed Sacrament (wherever the tabernacle is in your Church). Christ is there, in the fullness of his divinity, ready to heal and console you. Sometimes it helps just to sit there w/ Him - you don’t need to say a thing unless you want to - and in our hectic world, the silence is a great gift, too.

Please keep us posted about you’re journey. We’ll be praying for you. Your Sister in Christ, Kate

 

[Jenlyn]

CWard34:

Ok, I am 20 years old and I have been a Catholic my whole life. However, for the last 5 years or so, it has been Catholic in name only, but not practice. My parents divorced when I was 2, and I had to split my time between both houses. My mothers side of the family is not religious at all, they are all catholics but none attended church or really knew much of the religion. My fathers side of the family were some of the most religious people I have ever known. My fathers parents were both Franciscans and he was in the KofC.
-Chris

Just because you moved away doesn’t mean that they aren’t there for you anymore. They are you foundation, your “rock” that you rely on. Continue an active open line of conversation with them. They have been and remain on your side.

My uncle from my moms side {who posts on here as well} has been a HUGE force in helping me get back on track.

God is using your family to bring you back. I hope you can see that.

I truly am sorry for all the things that I have done, and I desperatly want God’s forgiveness, but I dont know how to go about all of this. I know the first step is to go to confession, but I dont know what to say when I get there, im also a little nervous, I know the priest does this all the time, but I am ashamed of what I have done and {I know this is odd} but I dont want him to think less of me.

With feelings like these,your absolution will be valid. Did you know that there were saints that would confess the same sins over and over again so that their confessors would not think to highly of them?

what I need help with is to stop commiting some of these sins. I sin over and over and I know it is wrong but I have trouble stopping some of them.

A problem we all struggle with. This is why we have confession and why we have spiritual directors that help stay on the right path. It’s our cross to bear as we struggle with our will, only through God can we turn our will to His.