Getting Married- Not enough time?

[JSAD]

Hello,

My diocese requires a 9 month period before getting married here in the US. However I will be having the wedding outside the US in January(In the place where I’m originally from and where my fiancee currently lives).

We’re both raised Catholic and have all the sacraments.We attend mass regularly and are devout Catholics.The only thing ‘remaining’ at this point is the marriage prep course

What other things/documents would I need to prepare so that I have everything by then?Is the 9 month period mandatory? We have the church booked, reception hall and wedding cards sent out!

There seems to be a lot of work and I would appreciate your help and guidance.

Thanks and God bless!

 

[St_Francis]

What are the regulations in the diocese where the two of you are going to marry? Can you fulfill the marriage prep by Skype?

 

[JSAD]

I’m waiting on some people to get answers for the Diocese requirements back home. From initial conversations, it did seem that the only thing needed was just the marriage prep course and wedding bands needed to be done here in the US (as my domicile is the US now not India).

I’ve located an online marriage prep - CatholicMarriagePrep.com that do the course online or over Skype.It is accepted as an official marriage prep by the USCCB.

However, a lot of Parish websites have listed the 9 month requirement. Following up with my Parish here, hope to hear this week. Really hope it dosen’t become an issue.

Initially I had thought if the Priests back in India were good, everything was fine. But it appears that i have to satisfy my diocesan requirements

What are the regulations in the diocese where the two of you are going to marry? Can you fulfill the marriage prep by Skype?

 

[Elizium23]

This is exactly the reason why many parishes tell couples not to make reservations or print up invitations until they have spoken to a priest and confirmed a date with him.

The 9-month period is not set in stone, but part of the intent was to make sure couples are really actually ready to enter the Sacrament of Matrimony. Pressure from any source, including the financial fear of losing deposits on a reception hall, is a red flag that can indicate consent will not freely be exchanged.

 

[pianistclare]

I’m waiting on some people to get answers for the Diocese requirements back home. From initial conversations, it did seem that the only thing needed was just the marriage prep course and wedding bands needed to be done here in the US (as my domicile is the US now not India).

I’ve located an online marriage prep - CatholicMarriagePrep.com that do the course online or over Skype.It is accepted as an official marriage prep by the USCCB.

However, a lot of Parish websites have listed the 9 month requirement. Following up with my Parish here, hope to hear this week. Really hope it dosen’t become an issue.

Initially I had thought if the Priests back in India were good, everything was fine. But it appears that i have to satisfy my diocesan requirements

I think you mean wedding banns. Which means that they will determine that there are no impediments to your marriage.

 

[Usige]

I’ve located an online marriage prep - CatholicMarriagePrep.com that do the course online or over Skype.It is accepted as an official marriage prep by the USCCB.

I know the people that run the website and I believe it is a 3 month course. Depending on your diocese you might also be require you complete an NFP class, FOCCUS inventory review sessions, etc. The USCCB NFP guidelines include a minimum of four classes with at least 2 chart reviews until autonomy is achieved. This generally mean a minimum of 2 to 3 months and often requires longer for autonomy. When my wife and I taught NFP it was generally 4 months. Not all diocese follow the standards, so your diocese may very. In general it takes a minimum of 5 - 6 months to get through all the requirements in my diocese. The diocesan guidelines is actually 1 year here. The goal in my area is to have all the pre cana work completed 2 - 3 months before the wedding so that any plans for the ceremony do not make the foundational work suffer. Unfortunately, many couples blow off the marriage prep in favor of dress fittings, menu planning, etc. Remember the purpose of marriage prep is to set you up for the decades following the wedding.

However, a lot of Parish websites have listed the 9 month requirement. Following up with my Parish here, hope to hear this week. Really hope it dosen’t become an issue.

Just based on the little you have posted, my pastor’s first comment in your situation would likely be to change the date. While he is willing to work with couples he will not cut prep short just to meet a date couples set before meeting with him unless it’s extraordinary circumstances.

That’s not to say that you won’t be able to meet the date, but don’t blame the priest or diocese if the Church requirements weren’t factored in before you set a date.

 

[1ke]

What other things/documents would I need to prepare so that I have everything by then?

Speak to the priest marrying you. In general, you will need to complete the premarital inventory, provide your sacramental records, and discuss the sacrament of marriage and your understanding of it with the priest.

Your priest will tell you what is required to prepare.

Is the 9 month period mandatory?

It is the requirement in the diocese in which you live. However, you will need to find out what the requirements are in the diocese where you wish to marry. Those are the requirements you must meet.

We have the church booked, reception hall and wedding cards sent out!

Well, if you have not spoken with the priest and don’t know what you must do to validly marry there, I would say all of the above are a bit premature.

 

[JSAD]

Thanks for your responses. I understand how it appears, that we may be ‘rushing’ into it.

However, the both of us did do a Engage encounter retreat during my last trip back to India earlier this year. (This included a portion on NFP).This was just after our engagement. We’re both in touch with the Priest marrying us very frequently.

The priest , back in India, only mentioned me getting a letter sent from my diocese to the diocese in India stating that I’ve completed all requirements(marriage prep) being one of them. I was told by many people that the course could be done individually or online. I would look forward to doing the course online with my fiancee. My fiancee is already doing a marriage prep course.

The distance makes things harder. My folks ,myself and fiancee all live in different countries, so planning is taking it’s toll. Somewhere along the line some information got held up:shrug:

Will be talking to my Parish Priest tomorrow and hopefully get this on track soon. I don’t mind doing extra work to get it all done properly.

Speak to the priest marrying you. In general, you will need to complete the premarital inventory, provide your sacramental records, and discuss the sacrament of marriage and your understanding of it with the priest.

Your priest will tell you what is required to prepare.

It is the requirement in the diocese in which you live. However, you will need to find out what the requirements are in the diocese where you wish to marry. Those are the requirements you must meet.

Well, if you have not spoken with the priest and don’t know what you must do to validly marry there, I would say all of the above are a bit premature.

 

[1ke]

If you are getting married in India, you must meet the requirements there, not in your current diocese. So the 9 month thing isn’t relevant.

What would be relevant is taking a marriage prep course, as it seems that is a requirement in India. If you’ve already done Engaged Encounter, it seems you have satisfied that requirement.

 

[JakeWI]

My wife and I did the prep in about 2 months time… with us approaching the Parish about it about 3 months prior. Usually, they request 6 months. Granted, I had done it so we could get a dispensation so I could be married in the Lutheran church by my wife’s Pastor (Ironically enough, she just converted to Catholicism). It can be done at a much quicker pace, though… but again it may vary Parish to Parish…

 

[Vico]

I’m waiting on some people to get answers for the Diocese requirements back home. From initial conversations, it did seem that the only thing needed was just the marriage prep course and wedding bands needed to be done here in the US (as my domicile is the US now not India).

I’ve located an online marriage prep - CatholicMarriagePrep.com that do the course online or over Skype.It is accepted as an official marriage prep by the USCCB.

However, a lot of Parish websites have listed the 9 month requirement. Following up with my Parish here, hope to hear this week. Really hope it dosen’t become an issue.

Initially I had thought if the Priests back in India were good, everything was fine. But it appears that i have to satisfy my diocesan requirements

Assuming Latin Catholic

CIC Canon Law
Can. 100 A person is said to be: a resident (incola) in the place where the person has a domicile; a temporary resident (advena) in the place where the person has a quasi-domicile; a traveler (peregrinus) if the person is outside the place of a domicile or quasi-domicile which is still retained; a transient (vagus) if the person does not have a domicile or quasi- domicile anywhere.

Can. 107 §1. Through both domicile and quasi-domicile, each person acquires his or her pastor and ordinary.
§2. The proper pastor or ordinary of a transient is the pastor or local ordinary where the transient is actually residing.
§3. The proper pastor of one who has only a diocesan domicile or quasi-domicile is the pastor of the place where the person is actually residing.

Can. 1115 Marriages are to be celebrated in a parish where either of the contracting parties has a domicile, quasidomicile, or month long residence or, if it concerns transients, in the parish where they actually reside. With the permission of the proper ordinary or proper pastor, marriages can be celebrated elsewhere.

 

[baliano]

Assuming Latin Catholic

CIC Canon Law
Can. 100 A person is said to be: a resident (incola) in the place where the person has a domicile; a temporary resident (advena) in the place where the person has a quasi-domicile; a traveler (peregrinus) if the person is outside the place of a domicile or quasi-domicile which is still retained; a transient (vagus) if the person does not have a domicile or quasi- domicile anywhere.

Can. 107 §1. Through both domicile and quasi-domicile, each person acquires his or her pastor and ordinary.
§2. The proper pastor or ordinary of a transient is the pastor or local ordinary where the transient is actually residing.
§3. The proper pastor of one who has only a diocesan domicile or quasi-domicile is the pastor of the place where the person is actually residing.

Can. 1115 Marriages are to be celebrated in a parish where either of the contracting parties has a domicile, quasidomicile, or month long residence or, if it concerns transients, in the parish where they actually reside. With the permission of the proper ordinary or proper pastor, marriages can be celebrated elsewhere.

My wife and I only knew each other for six months or so before the wedding, the only marriage prep was about a half hour meeting with the priest and we were married in her parents parish, a mission parish, of which neither of us was a resident.

Of course only time will tell if this marriage will work without following all these laws and rules, it’s only been 48 years so far.

 

[Vico]

My wife and I only knew each other for six months or so before the wedding, the only marriage prep was about a half hour meeting with the priest and we were married in her parents parish, a mission parish, of which neither of us was a resident.

Of course only time will tell if this marriage will work without following all these laws and rules, it’s only been 48 years so far.

The celebrant follows this rule; “With the permission of the proper ordinary or proper pastor, marriages can be celebrated elsewhere.”

 

[Bookcat]

If you are getting married in India, you must meet the requirements there, not in your current diocese. So the 9 month thing isn’t relevant.
.

And even if the Diocese there had that requirement - it could be dispensed usually by the Ordinary or those given the authority by the Ordinary.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

This is exactly the reason why many parishes tell couples not to make reservations or print up invitations until they have spoken to a priest and confirmed a date with him.

The 9-month period is not set in stone, but part of the intent was to make sure couples are really actually ready to enter the Sacrament of Matrimony. Pressure from any source, including the financial fear of losing deposits on a reception hall, is a red flag that can indicate consent will not freely be exchanged.

Exactly. When our priest does marriage prep the couple actually has to pass as well.