Gifts for the dying/hospice?

[_veritas]

A priest friend’s mother is dying, currently in hospice care… my roommates and I would like to get her something that would be of comfort to her, not only spiritually (though we are planning a spiritual bouquet as well) but also physically.

Does anyone out there have any suggestions on thoughtful and comforting gifts for the dying?

Or, on the other hand, perhaps it would be more appropriate to get something for the *family *instead? I know our priest friend is hurting as well, but we really don’t know what to do for him either, he doesn’t really talk about it much with us.

We have no experience with this, any help?

+veritas+

 

[Lilyofthevalley]

Does she have any hobbies?
One thing I noticed was, once my dad got the news he was going to die, he did something he had not done in months, he picked up the newspaper and read the sports page.
So whatever her hobby is, and whatever she can still do, get it for her. Needlepoint, sewing, a book, knitting. Maybe a journal even.

 

[_veritas]

Lilyofthevalley:

Does she have any hobbies?
One thing I noticed was, once my dad got the news he was going to die, he did something he had not done in months, he picked up the newspaper and read the sports page.
So whatever her hobby is, and whatever she can still do, get it for her. Needlepoint, sewing, a book, knitting. Maybe a journal even.

We really don’t know very much about her personally, we just found out a week or so ago that she was even in hospice. At this point we are somewhat reluctant to ask our friend directly, we would just like to do something quietly (and perhaps even anonymously)… so we’re trying to find some ideas for “commonly forgotten” things that might be good to send to her and her family.

+veritas+

 

[monica_fan]

Does she have a favorite charity you could give to in her name? A good thing to do at Christmas time is to buy gifts or a Christmas dinner for a needy family in her name. That’s what I would want.
+veritas+:

A priest friend’s mother is dying, currently in hospice care… my roommates and I would like to get her something that would be of comfort to her, not only spiritually (though we are planning a spiritual bouquet as well) but also physically.

Does anyone out there have any suggestions on thoughtful and comforting gifts for the dying?

Or, on the other hand, perhaps it would be more appropriate to get something for the *family *instead? I know our priest friend is hurting as well, but we really don’t know what to do for him either, he doesn’t really talk about it much with us.

We have no experience with this, any help?

+veritas+

 

[Mamamull]

One gift is music - Cd’s or tapes and maybe a player for her. My father-in law loves taking his portable CD player to dialysis. He plays Catholic Latin Classics and other spiritual music that helps him remain positive and prayerful.

I also made a hand (and whatever) warmer with a muslin rectangle and rice (I scent it with a perfume oil.) then I sewed a little cover for the rice bag. I include instructions for heating in a microwave with a cup of water (or tea) to reduce possible fire risks.

Then of course, there are personal care items, like lotions and lip balms, slippers or a pretty pillow cases. Special teas or other foods that are good on a delicate stomach might also be nice.

I hope this helps. I have struggled the last few years with gifts of my father in law who has Parkinson’s and kidney failure. The hand warmer with a fun set of instructions really seemed to cheer both of my in-laws. That was wonderful to me.

Also a spiritual bouquet of time before the Blessed Sacrament or Rosaries and Divine Mercy Chaplets, and frequent notes are also wonderful as inexpensive but priceless gifts. As I tell my kids, one never knows if we are the only reason someone smiled today.

 

[CARose]

Is she close? If so, would it be ok to visit her? Far too often, old people and especially people who are dying are left alone. People are uncomfortable about “imposing themselves” and these people are left all alone at a time when they have less energy to go out to the world and particiate in things that would help to take the focus off themselves and their pains.

Visit and bring flowers. Ask when you bring them the first time, as she may be allergic. If so, put them in another room where they can be viewed without creating a problem.
Then visit. If she’s well enough to talk, share stories of your life if she’s interested in listening. Or she may want to talk about her life. If so, you may want to record what she shares and give it later to the family. She may want to have you read the bible to her. This is a wonderful time to reinforce our relationship with God. Or, if she’s too ill to participate, you can simply pray the rosary with her, while she’s simply present. When you get to each decade, tell her out loud what you’re doing, which mystery you’re working on and what it means.

I know that I had a significant conversion as a result of helping a woman who was dying. More than anything, you time is valuable. Share it with others and you have given the greatest gift of all.

CARose