Girlfriend and chastity

[rjrjrj]

My girlfriend and I were having a conversation and she said she believes masturbation is not a bad thing. I told her it is a sin and that it is not good to be doing that. She got really upset and said I try to “correct” her… I understand she is trying to better herself since she has changed A LOT for this relationship (started going to church, practices abstinence, ect…) I cannot help but think maybe I am being too “demanding” by telling her many things are wrong, or is it my duty to help her open her eyes??? I try to do so in a subtle way.

Thanks in advance for the relationship advice lol

 

[Allegra]

My girlfriend and I were having a conversation and she said she believes masturbation is not a bad thing. I told her it is a sin and that it is not good to be doing that. She got really upset and said I try to “correct” her… I understand she is trying to better herself since she has changed A LOT for this relationship (started going to church, practices abstinence, ect…) I cannot help but think maybe I am being too “demanding” by telling her many things are wrong, or is it my duty to help her open her eyes??? I try to do so in a subtle way.

Thanks in advance for the relationship advice lol

You have a responsibility to speak the truth. If she is doing something that makes you uncomfortable in your relationship with her, you have to tell her and tell her why. If you are arguing this from a theoretical point of view (she is not making any sort of request that you participate in something immoral) then you can probably just say, this is what the church believes, and be done with it. If she is asking you to participate in something like that, you might have a much deeper problem.

 

[Paul_theApostle]

maybe you were too blunt…

sometimes we tell people what is wrong but dont really tell or explain nicely or friendly or in a way they can understand ,

teachings about sex and marital union perhaps she would be interested to read a Church book about that …

sometimes like writing with a blunt pencil we may push too hard to write and the writing may be very thick and bold,

if the pencil is sharp we dont have to press hard and we can write lightly and fine

being blunt is like coming on too heavy,like being too hard like pushing hard to write with a blunt pencil…

 

[ANNE_2]

My girlfriend and I were having a conversation and she said she believes masturbation is not a bad thing. I told her it is a sin and that it is not good to be doing that. She got really upset and said I try to “correct” her… I understand she is trying to better herself since she has changed A LOT for this relationship (started going to church, practices abstinence, ect…) I cannot help but think maybe I am being too “demanding” by telling her many things are wrong, or is it my duty to help her open her eyes??? I try to do so in a subtle way.

Thanks in advance for the relationship advice lol

You are doing the correct thing in speaking the truth.
Depending on her age, give her a copy of the “Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition” or the new YOU CAT (Youth Catechism of the Catholic Church).

CCC - " 2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.”
"The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose. " For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.** " **

CCC -** "** 2396 Among the sins gravely contrary to chastity are masturbation, fornication, pornography, and homosexual practices. "

 

[rjrjrj]

No, she is not expecting me to be involved in that, however, she said she has been. BTW, we are both in our older 20’s.

Thank you for the responses, any other comments/advice is welcomed.