Girls a Near Occasion of Sin?!

[ihq]

I like a girl in my class so I look at her now and then. I do not think of lustful thoughts most of the time when I flash these glances, but sometimes they occur to me as temptations when I glance at her. Is she a near occasion of sin therefore, and is what I am doing mortal sin?

 

[fred_conty]

Boys like girls, and girls like boys, is the way good Lord made us. That’s good.
Think in a positive way, the nice ways they have, of adding a richness in our world.
That God is reflected the wonder of himself in another way to us. Mary being the
real example of beauty because of her inner goodness.

 

[Bookcat]

A near occasion for a mortal sin is some thing or person or place etc what generally leads one to commit a particular mortal sin…or likely will cause one to commit the mortal sin in question.

Such can be of a nature that it generally leads most to sin…or particular to a person.

Ordinarily we are obliged to avoid such. Though there can be exceptions.

It is not just a temptation per se. Often times one must be around certain temptations due to duty or the simply the society we live in.

And it is not a “remote occasion” where one could be tempted but generally one does not fall. Such are often in our society.

A good confessor too can help one judge.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=8316402&postcount=3

Take care of course how one looks…

Use reasonable custody of ones senses…without getting to stressed about it.

And it can happen that when we are not seeking them…some tempting thought can happen to us. Do not consent…but also do not get overly stressed about it…just turn your thoughts elsewhere.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

I like a girl in my class so I look at her now and then. I do not think of lustful thoughts most of the time when I flash these glances, but sometimes they occur to me as temptations when I glance at her. Is she a near occasion of sin therefore, and is what I am doing mortal sin?

Man was created for the Woman and Woman for Man.
They were to love each other, to marry and have children. To have children you must have sex. So sex thoughts are normal.
This has nothing to do with mortal sin. It is completely normal.
Look at her and talk to her during breaks. I would advise you not to look at her during classes. You like her too much so if you are looking at her most of the time … your grades will fall like stone …

 

[Bookcat]

. So sex thoughts are normal.
This has nothing to do with mortal sin. It is completely normal.
.

One should not consent to such sexual thoughts …for she is not your wife. Such would be grave matter for mortal sin.

But the fact that some thought occurs to you when you did not seek it …etc does not mean one has sinned. Just turn your mind to something else…like what the teacher is teaching…

If a thought comes to you that is lustful…let it fly past your head like a bird…do not let it make a nest on your head. Do not consent…but turn elsewhere. (nor stress for such temptations will happen…it is a common one that can happen to guys from time to time…relax and turn to other things)

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

One should not consent to such sexual thoughts …for she is not your wife. Such would be grave matter for mortal sin.

But the fact that some thought occurs to you when you did not seek it …etc does not mean one has sinned. Just turn your mind to something else…like what the teacher is teaching…

If a thought comes to you that is lustful…let it fly past your head like a bird…do not let it make a nest on your head. Do not consent…but turn elsewhere. (nor stress for such temptations will happen…it is a common one that can happen to guys from time to time…relax and turn to other things)

I agree with you except but one thing: that you should repel it. It is not good strategy. If you repel, it will come stronger.

I teacher in meditation taught me: Do not adhere, do not repel to not analyze, do not interfere. It will go by itself. That is my opinion.

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

… my dear friend ,

… my opnine , though controversial no doubt , but true i believe : it is perfectly normal and natural to have sexual thoughts about someone your attracted to , god made us this way , it is not sinful at all in itself , the problem comes in mans fallen state that he turns the normal , natural , healthy , human sexual thoughts into something dirty and evil – lust – so he can gain max pleasure and enjoyment from them , then the natural thoughts of sex become evil and sinful , the further problems arise that it can lead to all sorts of further evil and depravity of a sexual or other nature , even rape , man can start seeing the other sex as nothing more than an object he can use to gratify himself for his own needs and pleasure , and in general something wonderful and beautiful like sex has become evil and dirty , so sexual thoughts in any circumstance are natural and fine , it is man who makes them and so much else evil and dirty so he can get greater pleasure and joy from them , the fallen state is the problem , not sex , so don’t give up your classes or this girls company just because your fallen , just try to see sex as you should , something beautiful and woderful , a gift from god that when ordered correctly is pure human love , don’t make it something sick and it’s fine , allow for your fallen state but note sin is just a mistake you need to try and iron out , sin is only actually evil thoughts in your mind and evil desires in your heart when you consent to and indulge this evil , no evil here = no sin , hope this helps dear friend , and praise god for the gift of beauty , love and sex , and just approach it as you should to the best of your ability , sex is not evil just because people make it so or think it is , sex is one of gods greatest gifts and blessings to man ,

… may god bless and love you ,

… john …

 

[Bookcat]

I agree with you except but one thing: that you should repel it. It is not good strategy. If you repel, it will come stronger.

I teacher in meditation taught me: Do not adhere, do not repel to not analyze, do not interfere. It will go by itself. That is my opinion.

Yes temptations are rejected in various ways. And some are best rejected in an indirect way (others in a direct way…like the temptation to laziness!)

It can be best to overcome temptations against* Faith or Chastity* via the indirect means. By as I noted above turning to something else.

You are right that fighting such directly can often make them worse…for it brings them more in to ones thoughts etc.

Though one might make some short statement like:

“I am a Christian” and turn to something else. Or “Credo” and turn to something else…or “no” and turn to something else.

Or as you noted ignore them and turn to something else…

all depending on the moment I suppose.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

Yes temptations are rejected in various ways. And some are best rejected in an indirect way (others in a direct way…like the temptation to laziness!)

It can be best to overcome temptations against* Faith or Chastity* via the indirect means. By as I noted above turning to something else.

You are right that fighting such directly can often make them worse…for it brings them more in to ones thoughts etc.

Though one might make some short statement like:

“I am a Christian” and turn to something else. Or “Credo” and turn to something else…or “no” and turn to something else.

Or as you noted ignore them and turn to something else…

all depending on the moment I suppose.

I was deeply interested on your strategies. May I sum up, my way:

1. 
   *]I am a follower of Christ!
   *]Credo ((why?) it is a common english expression or otherwise…
   *]No. Does it function, a simple “NO”?
   
   If you have practical advice like this, ie., the king of words, images, prayers that you willingly bring to your mind, I would be interested in learning.
   
   You know, this is a subject seldom talked about. I hear Priests talking but they have a shortcoming (though the problems are the same) that is they are not married tough, as I said, they must maintain chastity.

 

[Bookcat]

I was deeply interested on your strategies. May I sum up, my way:

1. 
   *]I am a follower of Christ!
   *]Credo ((why?) it is a common english expression or otherwise…
   *]No. Does it function, a simple “NO”?
   
   If you have practical advice like this, ie., the king of words, images, prayers that you willingly bring to your mind, I would be interested in learning.
   
   You know, this is a subject seldom talked about. I hear Priests talking but they have a shortcoming (though the problems are the same) that is they are not married tough, as I said, they must maintain chastity.

1. 
   They were just some examples. The main point is if there is some action on our part in regards to those two particular temptations …it is good to use a very short rejection and then turn to something else. As you too noted…not to get entangled more into the temptation etc. The main way out of such temptations is flight…running away
   
   The “I am a Christian” I took from the trial records of the early Christian Martyrs (who are very important to me…and in fact my wife and I use the phrase as part of the our daily renewal of our following as disciples…of our baptismal promises) (and example: earlychristians.org/testimonies_martyrs/scillitan_saints.html). It sums up nicely ones baptismal life. A temptation comes against chastity…one reaffirms that “I am a Christian!” meaning…no way…I follow Christ! He is the meaning of my life…I am a Christian so I do not do such things…I know true life! And I will continue to walk in that life etc. Or if it is against Faith…well it is a simple profession of Faith. As is the “credo” which I took from St. Therese who during here great sufferings of temptations against Faith she would just right that word…even in her blood that she spit up from her TB.
   
   The “No” could be in the heat of some temptations…as you turn to something else. But I would not get into repeating it too much…for then one can get into the “direct” fighting too much. Indirect …flight is best in terms of temptations against Faith or Chastity.
   
   If your temped to other things…direct is often better. By acting with the virtue opposite to what you is tempting you. You are tempted to put off the task. Do it first. If you are temped to eat too much…fast abit. etc.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

They were just some examples. The main point is if there is some action on our part in regards to those two particular temptations …it is good to use a very short rejection and then turn to something else. As you too noted…not to get entangled more into the temptation etc. The main way out of such temptations is flight…running away

The “I am a Christian” I took from the trial records of the early Christian Martyrs (who are very important to me…and in fact my wife and I use the phrase as part of the our daily renewal of our following as disciples…of our baptismal promises) (and example: earlychristians.org/testimonies_martyrs/scillitan_saints.html). It sums up nicely ones baptismal life. A temptation comes against chastity…one reaffirms that “I am a Christian!” meaning…no way…I follow Christ! He is the meaning of my life…I am a Christian so I do not do such things…I know true life! And I will continue to walk in that life etc. Or if it is against Faith…well it is a simple profession of Faith. As is the “credo” which I took from St. Therese who during here great sufferings of temptations against Faith she would just right that word…even in her blood that she spit up from her TB.

The “No” could be in the heat of some temptations…as you turn to something else. But I would not get into repeating it too much…for then one can get into the “direct” fighting too much. Indirect …flight is best in terms of temptations against Faith or Chastity.

If your temped to other things…direct is often better. By acting with the virtue opposite to what you is tempting you. You are tempted to put off the task. Do it first. If you are temped to eat too much…fast abit. etc.

Thanks a lot for posting. Never saw a post like this in the net.
Thanks for you time but for me … nothing resulted up to now…I will try yours.

Thanks again.

 

[Bookcat]

Thanks a lot for posting. Never saw a post like this in the net.
Thanks for you time but for me … nothing resulted up to now…I will try yours.

Thanks again.

Your welcome

Let us live in Christ

 

[Bobby_Jim]

She’s a person, made in the image and likeness of God, just like you. When you see her, think about how great God is.

Worrying about whether she is a “near occasion of sin” makes it all about you, now doesn’t it?

 

[Colorad007]

Most males can relate to this, but I would suggest not taking those occasional glances. I have no idea whether or not it’s gravely sinful to take those glances, but my own personal experience is that a “cute girl” in class can definitely become an occasion of sin if you’re taking those glances. The reason you’re making little glances is because she’s probably pretty gorgeous, right? Acknowledge the fact that there’s a gorgeous girl in your class and then keep your eyes (and mind) focused on something besides the girl.

That might be a little on the rigorous side, but you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to walk the line between little looks and occasions of sin.

 

[francisca]

I like a girl in my class so I look at her now and then. I do not think of lustful thoughts most of the time when I flash these glances, but sometimes they occur to me as temptations when I glance at her. Is she a near occasion of sin therefore, and is what I am doing mortal sin?

I assume you are a single young man.

Despite you bring up “temptation” in you post above, I can see no issue there. What I see is a young man being attracted to a young woman.

I think such a feeling should be treated without prejudice, and therefore: why don’t you introduce yourself to her in a courteous way? So that she will be somebody you know instead of a mere beauty in your mind.

I think it is important for a man to be “connected” to himself, to his most genuine feelings. Those men who fall into sexual temptations are the ones who fail to acknoledge their true feelings so as to run away from them to follow un-real easy fantasy/ pleasures.

There is no guarantee that she will give positive response, but in doing so, you deal with it in a good way. Supposedly you get a positive response, you will also learn that she is not a mere beauty but a somebody with her own will and character. Thus your glances will progress to an understanding of your feelings in a real way.

 

[chevalier]

Merely being attracted or merely beholding a woman is not a sin. What is a sin is when you consent to have sexual thoughts about her. Close occasion of sin would be putting yourself in circumstances when you most likely would or most people most likely would consent to those sexual thoughts.

I believe it’s better to focus on beauty rather than attractiveness and attractiveness rather than finding someone sexy. If you start feeling excessive tension, like worrying you won’t be able to control yourself, then you can focus on something else, as a previous poster said. There’s nothing unmanly in thinking, “hey, I gotta be careful.” Actually, it’s a very manly thing to do. But careful doesn’t mean scrupulous. Or even cautious. Let’s just say prudent.