Glass half empty - what's wrong with you people?

[crazzeto]

Am I the only one who finds this site **totally **depressing?

Take a look at the thread titles - Almost all negative/critical/shocked & horrified at the world we live in type posts. Not a very inspirational bunch are we?

Take a tour around to your average new age/yoga/meditation site…Almost all overwhelmingly positive posts… Could it be that glass half empty type people are attracted to these forums…?

I think it has something to do with the fact that typically people come here looking for advice with their problems. It’s nice to brighten up the forums with a great postitive posting about some exciting news. But I feel like this forum is more here to help, rather than merely to laud happy times. I’m OK with the tone of the forum threads, and usually pretty OK with the responses that get generated.

 

[Charlotte1776]

And posting this thread remedies the negativity problem… how again?

Unfortunately, I think this is an example of what the OP is talking about. No matter what you post on CAF, lots of people come in and post sarcastic, mean-spirited comments in reply. I’ve seen it even on tragic threads about miscarriage and marital infidelity where such replies can really hurt. There is very little love on some threads, and plenty of hate. It can be hard to find the love of Christ here sometimes. No matter what the OP’s problem is, it often devolves into mean-spirited accusations and criticisms.

 

[Nec5]

What was that old Far Side comic about 4 types of people:

1. The glass is half empty.
2. The glass is half full.
3. The glass is either half full or half empty.
4. Hey, I ordered a cheeseburger.

 

[Zeemeermin]

Unfortunately, I think this is an example of what the OP is talking about. No matter what you post on CAF, lots of people come in and post sarcastic, mean-spirited comments in reply.

And then you say this:

It can be hard to find the love of Christ here sometimes. No matter what the OP’s problem is, it often devolves into mean-spirited accusations and criticisms.

Seems you might be part of the problem you are pointing out. This seems like a bit of a hyperventilation in response to what was basically a logic question on my part, and may even have been a tiny bit tongue-in-cheek. Now I’m a mean-spirited, accusatory criticizer according to you!

And dang it, Nec5, now I’m craving a cheeseburger. :crying:

 

[thomfra]

People post to forums when they have a problem. It’s the nature of the internet and anonymous communities. Seems like you’re [trolling?] just trying to rile people up a bit.

Well…no. That’s the whole point. Of course people post all sorts of things of forums happy sad or otherwise…Given the millions of English speaking Catholics with web access, one would think this site would reflect a diversity of opinions and life views…

By my observation is that on CAF there seems to be an overwhelming fascination with the morbid, and most certainly an over-representation of anxious types, which you just don’t see on other forums (i.e. not to the same extent).

If indeed this site is to serve as a resource centre or inspiration to Catholics, it’s certainly not doing a very good job (IMHO).

Take a look through the thread titles……

 

[Charlotte1776]

Seems you might be part of the problem you are pointing out. This seems like a bit of a hyperventilation in response to what was basically a logic question on my part, and may even have been a tiny bit tongue-in-cheek. Now I’m a mean-spirited, accusatory criticizer according to you!

Your post was definitely more sarcastic and dismissive than outright mean. My point is that on other threads, it’s common to see posts that are all three. The OP and I obviously see this as a problem where maybe you don’t.

 

[crazzeto]

And then you say this:

Seems you might be part of the problem you are pointing out. This seems like a bit of a hyperventilation in response to what was basically a logic question on my part, and may even have been a tiny bit tongue-in-cheek. Now I’m a mean-spirited, accusatory criticizer according to you!

And dang it, Nec5, now I’m craving a cheeseburger. :crying:

Actually I’ve seen exactly what she’s talking about, we can point fingers all we want or we can get off our high horses and take a hard look at our selves. I’ve posted earlier that I feel like I’m genearlly OK with the threads started (seeking help for deep personal or spiritual problems), and usually OK with the responses… Though I admit it’s been quite some time since I’ve been in family life forum, seems like this place used to be a little more supportive in the past. It’s been flooded with a different spirit perhaps.

None the less, you’re trying to blow of some good examples of how this forum manages to fail. People come here seeking help, that last thing they need to have done to them is to be cast as Satan en-carnate. That’s happend in another thread in this very forum, in which the OP to my knowlege hasn’t yet gotten a good answer to his question and more over, his thread should probably be closed now due to a supreme lack of charity from the forum.

 

[Serap]

CAF can sometimes be brutal. I agree.

There are many nice threads too though. Perhaps just focus on those.

 

[Cat]

Am I the only one who finds this site **totally **depressing?

Take a look at the thread titles - Almost all negative/critical/shocked & horrified at the world we live in type posts. Not a very inspirational bunch are we?

Take a tour around to your average new age/yoga/meditation site…Almost all overwhelmingly positive posts… Could it be that glass half empty type people are attracted to these forums…?

I suggest that it’s YOU who are negative.

You are seeing all the negatives in the various posts and failing to see the light of God that shines through many of the people who come to CAF.

I’ve been part of CAF for several years and I’ve read about some heartbreaking problems, especially here in the Family section. But underneath the tears and complaints and cries for help, I see a deep-down, simple, basic faith in God that everything will turn out for the best eventually, if not on this earth, then in the world to come.

I see hope. I see love–that’s what prompts people to come here–they believe in love and they want to know how to experience it from God, their families, their friends, and their churches.

You apparently have missed all that and instead, see only cynicism and self-interest. Too bad. Maybe you should look harder.

For example, I’ve read so many posts from moms with many children who haven’t had a full night’s sleep in years, and have come here to vent about their exhaustion and seek advice on getting their children on a schedule. But along with their obvious exhaustion and frustration, these moms also manage to convey that they enjoy a deep, rich, full, exciting life with their children and husband, and that they love being a mother, in spite of the lack of sleep.

Same for many of the people who are having marriage problems. They come here seeking help from others who have already been through it, and they are literally crying into their keyboards. But they wouldn’t be here if they had lost all hope and faith. They cling to God, and this simple faith encourages many of us who aren’t experiencing the turmoil…yet.

Reading about problems that others have is good for the soul because it reminds us that this life IS a struggle and that we should never become complacent or self-righteous in the midst of temporal prosperity and happiness. Also, we should never deny the pain and suffering all around us and pretend that everything is coming up roses (like Mama Rose does in Gypsy.) Christianity is NOT a “positive thinking seminar.” It is a religion of reality–Christians are the ones who know the truth about what’s going on in this world and the worlds we cannot see with eyes of flesh.

We are living in a fallen world in which Satan is a prince of the power of the air (Ephesians 2:2). THAT’S reality, not “glass half-empty” thinking.

St. Paul wrote to the Ephesians that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. At any time, any of us could experience an attack and be brought down writhing in physical and spiritual pain. It is helpful to see that others are not only living through it, but surviving and experiencing peace and joy in the midst of their suffering. And it is wonderful when, through our posts, we are able to bring relief and aid to those who are under attack.

 

[Zeemeermin]

and most certainly an over-representation of anxious types

Now, unfortunately, this I have to agree with. I had never even heard of “scrupulosity” before I started reading these forums (I read for quite a while before I joined) but it seems rampant around here. And you’re right that that aspect of these boards can make Catholicism look really unattractive. I could see a person who maybe had a minor problem or question coming here, reading all these people having panic attacks about literally every sexual thought they’ve ever had or whether they touched their girlfriend too much, or did they sin last night in bed with their husband… and dismissing all of us as a bunch of mentally ill goons and swearing off the Church. You do have a point there.

 

[m_crane]

We are all here trying to work out our salvation,trying to say yes to God’s will,trying to be Saints.

This work can be really hard, messy, tiresome and can seem rather negative. Picture a necessary operation.

What you see here is our concerns, sometimes selfish and self-centered, being exposed to others, allowing others to point out our flaws, and hopefully, help guide us to a Holy Solution.

Please keep in mind we are *all *fallen people, both posters and responders,(maybe there are some Saints on here) so this is not a perfect system but I am grateful to have this forum and feel that it has great potental to do good for people.

I hope you can see this positive side of the forums too.

 

[Julianna]

:clapping:

I’ve been a long-time lurker here (although a new poster), and I think what you’re noticing are the postings on just a couple of boards where people are very unhappy with the liturgical turn the Church has taken over the past 40+ years. At least, that’s where I see the most disgruntled posters.

This is a VERY conservative online community, for the most part, and many people seem to be much more concerned with the letter of every (even obscure) law more than they are with charity toward others. Their world is extremely black and white and focused on rules, sin and judgment – not love and mercy.

It makes me a little crazy to think that this is the face of Catholicism that others online see, when true “church” happens at the parish level.

The medium of online communication usually sounds harsher than the poster means, also – there’s just no way to convey “voice” here – which could temper the tone of the posts.

If you read the posts that ask for personal advice or prayers for a serious situation, I think you’ll find some of the affirmation and kindness you expect.

It also seems to me that the unhappy, complaining people are those who tend to post more frequently and without obvious charity – charity toward them may help break the cycle.

(You’d better read this fast - it may disappear any minute )

:clapping::tiphat:

 

[Julianna]

Now, unfortunately, this I have to agree with. I had never even heard of “scrupulosity” before I started reading these forums (I read for quite a while before I joined) but it seems rampant around here. And you’re right that that aspect of these boards can make Catholicism look really unattractive. I could see a person who maybe had a minor problem or question coming here, reading all these people having panic attacks about literally every sexual thought they’ve ever had or whether they touched their girlfriend too much, or did they sin last night in bed with their husband… and dismissing all of us as a bunch of mentally ill goons and swearing off the Church. You do have a point there.

I hear you. Add to that questioning if reading Harry Potter is a sin…etc. I find that perhaps some of these questions are “troll” questions vs. trying to get a real answer to real world concerns. TMI is the order of the day. I don’t want to peek into your bedroom, so please stay out of mine. TMI questions are not something I would ask on a forum. Not sure if the poster asking the question thinks some CAF’ers are goons…but hey, they opened the door with a TMI question. You’re bound to get some pretty uptight answers in the name of that old time religion. My glass is by no means half empty. We all have our ups and downs. I believe there are those on CAF who are heavily rooted in the letter of the law and it comes off as “holier than thou”…but once you realize these same people who are answering questions with the letter of the law are far from perfection themselves. CAF, by and large is pretty conservative. As a cradle Catholic, I never experienced the fire and brimestone, the sack cloth and ashes, and let’s not forget the ball and chain of guilt, as I have until I have read some the “answers” posted.

 

[Rascalking]

OP-Some people on this website are over scrupulous, negative, drama queens, people who ask for 18 prayer requests a day , but whatever.

I just ignore it though. Don’t let it bring you down, 99% of people on this website rock.