God and Porn

[Chugwater]

I am a guy in my early 20’s, and like most (if not all) young guys, I occasionally watch porn. Well, I live at home right now, and my mom decided to secretly snoop through my internet history and discovered this. Then she freaked out.

She is also Catholic and according to her, watching porn is a “grave sin”, and if I continued to do so I would end up in hell. I told her that it was something that pretty much all guys do, but she didn’t believe me. She insisted that this was a terrible sin, and threw a bunch of wikipedia pages at me that stated the Catholic Church (and many other religions) were against pornography. She told me to go talk to our church’s priest about it.

Well, the thing is several years ago i DID talk to our church’s priest about it in Confession. I told him that I occasionally watched porn and masturbated, and his response was, “Everyone, especially people your age, has to deal with urges and temptations. Although we can’t always stop ourselves from giving in to these temptations, you should try your best to keep it to a minimum.”

And i *have *tried to keep it to a minimum, and like I said I don’t do it that often. In my opinion, porn is a FAR healthier choice than some of the alternatives (like going to a prostitute, or having sex before marriage). Porn is just a fantasy; you are doing things in your mind that you wouldn’t do in real life (until married, of course). Is the Catholic Church’s stance really that watching porn is a terrible sin?

My priest seemed to understand that watching porn was something that pretty much all guys did, but now my mom seems to think that I’m some sort of perverted freak who is going to hell.

What do you guys think? Do you ever watch porn?

 

[Trishie]

vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm

You can find Church teaching on the Sixth Commandment of God, against which porn is a serious sin, at the above site.

Specific reference:

2354 *Pornography *consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials.

2351 *Lust *is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

2352 By *masturbation *is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."138 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."139

 

[Newbie2]

Just because “other guys do it” doesn’t make it OK, right?

Justifying it by saying that isn’t as bad as other activities is…curious. Do you think that it’s OK to beat people up with a baseball bat because it’s not as risky as getting in a knife fight?

It simply does not matter if anyone else on the planet or if everyone on the planet watches porn and masturbates…both are a disordered use of one’s sexuality.

Perhaps a good read of the Catechism’s treatment of sexuality might be helpful to understand the Church’s view on sexuality.

 

[followingtheway]

vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm

You can find Church teaching on the Sixth Commandment of God, against which porn is a serious sin, at the above site.

Specific reference:

2354 *Pornography *consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials.

2351 *Lust *is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

2352 By *masturbation *is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."138 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."139

What he said plus, the Bible says…

[BIBLEDRB]Matthew 5:28[/BIBLEDRB]

God bless :byzsoc:

David

 

[JRKH]

Sorry my friend, but “most everybody does it” just ain’t going to cut it.
To quote mothers down through the ages - “If everyone else jumped off a cliff would you do it too?”

Your priest is correct in that these urges ARE something that every teen goes through and most give into the urges in one form or another.

You said that you spoke to your priest “several years ago” and you are currently in your early 20’s…That means you were probably about 17 when you talked to him.
His explanation was, at the time sound and most likely designed to help you not get too down on yourself. HOWEVER, I cannot believe that he intended his advise to be interpreted as some sort of permission to sin with impunity.

Nope - your mom is right. These are serious sins and the advice of this old sinner is to break the habit NOW.

Peace
James

 

[Anthony_V]

Sexual sins are among the most destructive, because they involve extensions of the most powerful force in our universe – love.
We must control these actions more consciously than almost all of our other actions for this very reason. Fantasizing about women, girls, or what have you implicitly subject all women, girls, etc. in your life to these fantasies. You take “female” and make it “sexual pleasure”.
Taking pleasures restricted for marriage and giving it to yourself is tantamount to self-idolatry. Our goal is to glorify God in all we do. His satisfaction is our objective happiness.

 

[joshrp]

I am a guy in my early 20’s, and like most (if not all) young guys, I occasionally watch porn. Well, I live at home right now, and my mom decided to secretly snoop through my internet history and discovered this. Then she freaked out.

She is also Catholic and according to her, watching porn is a “grave sin”, and if I continued to do so I would end up in hell. I told her that it was something that pretty much all guys do, but she didn’t believe me. She insisted that this was a terrible sin, and threw a bunch of wikipedia pages at me that stated the Catholic Church (and many other religions) were against pornography. She told me to go talk to our church’s priest about it.

Well, the thing is several years ago i DID talk to our church’s priest about it in Confession. I told him that I occasionally watched porn and masturbated, and his response was, “Everyone, especially people your age, has to deal with urges and temptations. Although we can’t always stop ourselves from giving in to these temptations, you should try your best to keep it to a minimum.”

And i *have *tried to keep it to a minimum, and like I said I don’t do it that often. In my opinion, porn is a FAR healthier choice than some of the alternatives (like going to a prostitute, or having sex before marriage). Porn is just a fantasy; you are doing things in your mind that you wouldn’t do in real life (until married, of course). Is the Catholic Church’s stance really that watching porn is a terrible sin?

My priest seemed to understand that watching porn was something that pretty much all guys did, but now my mom seems to think that I’m some sort of perverted freak who is going to hell.

What do you guys think? Do you ever watch porn?

I’ve watched lots of porn in my life. It is never good for you. You should just stop rationalizing it by saying that everyone is doing it and stop doing it. You are going to set a bad example for other people if you continue doing it. If you know that it is wrong and you continue to do it regardless, you do endanger yourself of going to hell. Porn is boring anyways. You really can’t think of anything better to do with your time? Are you even trying?

 

[Trishie]

Only recently one of the looters in London defended herself in Court with “Everybody was doing it!” Stealing isn’t okay, no sin is okay, because “everyone is doing it.”

 

[EmeraldWings]

(Post 1 of 2)

I’m afraid your confessor gave you very bad advice, you can most certainly always stop yourself, with Gods grace,
there are no sins of the flesh that are venial, they are all mortal, provided the 3 conditions are met - full knowledge, full consent, and grave matter(which sins of the flesh are) and that includes impurity of mind, heart, and body, as we are told - “But I say to you, that whosoever shall look on a woman to lust after her, hath already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28
and i assure you that not all men or all young men look at porn, i know very many who have given it up, and quite a few who have never gotten into that, because believe it or not, some men want to be pure and take the proper means of maintaining their purity,
it may seem impossible to you simply because for you the temptation is very strong, but it only gets that bad if you let it,

however, you can get out of that, with Gods help, and first i would simply recommend listening to these - audiosancto.org/categories/purity.php

and then i would suggest keeping up a good prayer regimen, the rosary will help you very much, along with making sure to say your morning and night prayers promptly before sleeping and waking, and to have a set time to sleep and time to wake,
also, take the simple practice of saying 3 Hail Mary’s in the morning and at night for the intentions of purity and holiness, which was the practice of Saint Maria Goretti, and which also helped me greatly in overcoming my own similar problems.
and i will tell you just to maybe give you some hope and assurance, that i use to have these problems, and although it was a long and hard process to overcome, i am now almost completely free of it…and i say almost because, while the temptations are gone, the memories are still there…which is merely a cross i brought on myself.

another thing you must do is, at the times of temptation or even being tempted to go to a place you know you will be tempted to this sin, pray, do not even give it a chance to enter your mind! pray and run! sins of the flesh must be fled from and never fought,
and don’t take this lightly, the Saints went to great lengths and extremes to avoid this sin, some threw themselves naked into the snow or thorn bushes, so if avoiding this sin means doing something like giving up the computer or tv or whatever other direct source of temptation, or at least getting a good internet filter, then do it,
but above all pray, and do not expose yourself to temptation, never trust yourself, even if you’ve made great progress, never put your guard down,
so daily prayers for Gods grace and Our Ladies special aid and protection, plus praying at the times of temptations and fleeing for those temptations, will help you greatly.

what will also help you greatly is confession and communion, go to confession as much as you need to, learn your sins with a good examination of conscience, and confess even your temptations to impurity, which really knocks the wind out of those temptations sales, and gives you more strength over them, go every day if you have to(for more than just this sin)
and only go to communion if you have no mortal sins on your soul that you are aware of, communion is the best time to petition Gods grace to grow in the virtues and resist sin, and also to grow more in love with Him, but you must never go unworthily, which would be a sacrilege, so be careful to learn your sins and go to confession often, which will help you to keep track of your progress also.

another help is, reading daily the lives and writings of the saints, many of which you can find here - store.saintbenedict.com/index.php?page=shop.browse&category_id=12&option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=1&vmcchk=1&Itemid=1
and here - www.tanbooks.com
the church recommends we read the lives of the saints daily to help teach and inspire us in virtue and in imitating Christ, Who the saints imitated so beautifully.
**
(continued in next post)**

 

[EmeraldWings]

(Post 2 of 2)

if you are having trouble understanding why lust is such a terrible sin, i will try and explain it as best as i can…although it is not the worst of sins, but mortal non the less, and the one which claims more souls to hell than any other sin…

Lust is bad, first of all, because it is a slavery to the flesh, and as we are told “No man can serve two masters. For either he will hate the one, and love the other: or he will sustain the one, and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” Matthew 6:24
you cannot serve the flesh and God, and if you think you are not enslaved to your lustful passions, then recall your own struggles, or if you have not even tried to resist, then try, and see how hard it is since you’ve already let it into your heart.
if you look up the word purity or chastity, you may find the definition “freedom from whatever is lewd or salacious”, the words to focus on here are “freedom from”…most people tend to think that lust is a freedom, that being able to express yourself sexually is a freedom, or that being able to have a lustful relationship is freedom…but freedom from what exactly? freedom is - “the power to determine action without restraint.”…now if you think about this in connection with the definition of “chastity”, you might ask yourself, how does lust restrain you? how does sexual activity, which is a natural thing, hinder you from making your own free choices?
well, what does the bible say? - *“Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, to refrain yourselves from carnal desires which war against the soul” *1 Peter 2:11

*“For the flesh lusteth against the spirit: and the spirit against the flesh; for these are contrary one to another: so that you do not the things that you would.” *Galatians 5:17

since man sinned, the body rebelled against him, and does not obey him, but must now be mortified and chastised and mistrusted, in order to gain control of it,
“Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, lust, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is the service of idols.” Colossians 3:5

*“For if you live according to the flesh, you shall die: but if by the Spirit you mortify the deeds of the flesh, you shall live.” *Romans 8:13

“But I chastise my body, and bring it into subjection: lest perhaps, when I have preached to others, I myself should become a castaway.” 1 Corinthians 9:27

the only way to gain control of yourself is by denying yourself, because the flesh only desires self gratification, comfort, ease, and to give in is not freedom, it is being subject to the body, whether you want to or not,
true freedom instead consists in doing what is good, because you only do good if you want to, but you commit evils whether you want to or not…
the carnal desires “war against the soul”, and it is a battle won by mortification, prayer, the sacraments, and fleeing from temptation, (also, keeping yourself busy is very important, never be idle, always have something to do that will not lead you into temptation)

and don’t be fooled, the devil may try to make you think that if you give up this sin you will be miserable or that you won’t be able to resist it always, but God does not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can handle, and if we ask, He always gives us the grace and the means of escaping our temptations,
and i will tell you from my own experience and i’m sure others will agree, to be free from this sin gives amazing peace and joy! but to be enslaved by it is true misery, because it separates you from God, not just in spirit, but in your heart and mind! you can neither think holy thoughts nor invite God into your heart, even if you receive communion, you bring punishment on yourself by receiving unworthily, and become weaker to sin by it,
“For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh judgment to himself, not discerning the body of the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 11:29

but also consider, that God forbids this sin because it is truly bad for us, and separates us from Him, it is bad for your mind, heart, and soul, since it perverts your mind, darkens your heart, and sends your souls to hell, among many other things…
God detests this sin both because it hurts us and also because it is so opposed to His own perfect purity,
and i am not speaking of sexuality, which is a good and holy thing in it’s proper place, instead i am specifically speaking of lust, which is to seek the sexual pleasures outside their proper place(marriage) for your own self gratification, and not out of love.
but of course even when love is present, there still must be marriage, as fornication is clearly forbidden, and it would be a sin both against chastity and charity, since you would be risking the soul of the person you supposedly “love” by fornicating with them.
the sexual pleasures were not given to us to be used whatever way we want, they were given specifically to the married, for the purpose of procreation and the mutual love and support of husband and wife, but to take those pleasures outside their proper place would not only be lust, but also stealing, as it is not yours to take.

Well…i am sorry to make this so long, so instead of continuing, i think it will help you much more to understand why lust is so bad by reading these 2 articles -
gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=21922501
gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=21927685
and by listening to those audio sermons i linked.

so that’s all for now, but feel free to ask anything at all,
you are in my prayers, take care.