"God doesn't always provide"

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Madaglan

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I am having problems with my mom. She claims to be a Christian (although a non-Catholic, create-your-own-Christianity one), but some of the things she has been saying lately makes me feel somewhat uneasy. For example, I plan to begin graduate school next fall. I have some money, but I also will have to take out loans. I plan to attend a Catholic university, and moreover I have selected theology as my course of study.

My mom keeps on getting on my case asking, “Is this really what you want to do?” “How do you expect to pay back the loans?” “Theology majors don’t make lots of money.” “Why don’t you take off a few years and make some money first.” “Maybe you should be a librarian instead.” And so forth. I know that I want to attend graduate school ASAP. However, my mom and I are at odds with each other. I try not to worry about the future, since I know that God will give me whatever is necessary. My mom, on the other hand, says that it’s a cruel world and that you need to be worried about the future. (She reads lots of Machivalean books, which is ok, except that she allows them to usurp her traditional Christian beliefs.) My charismatic group is very supportive and the members there tell me not to worry because God will provide for me. Two of my priest friends are likewise supportive and say that God will provide. Everyone thinks it’s a good idea that I go on to graduate school now–that is, except for my mom, who firmly believes that everything is a conspiracy, and that $$$ is something out of God’s capacity to control. I am almost certain that she believes in a Deistic God that is not fully involved in our lives.

Anyhow, my mother is just being a thorn in the side. She just told me tonight that “God doesn’t always provide,” and she used bankrupt Christians as an example. Sometimes I wish I could say to her, “Away from me Satan!” But I don’t think that would go well with her, nor would it be polite.

Anyhow, I am really sick of my family’s pessimistic thinking. It’s rubbing off on me at times, and I can’t stand it. It’s like living in a family that believes in God but doesn’t believe that He cares for us and will help us with whatever we need. The phrase “God will provide” is alien to my family. All the parents ever talk about is $$$, and how we’re struggling to stay alive. The only time I hear the name of Jesus at home is in curses and during the habitual family meal prayer.

Perhaps I am the one who is wrong. Am I making a big mistake in trusting that God will provide me with everything I need, and that He will provide me with the funds to pay off college loans?

I know that God wants me to move forward with my studies, especially in His Word. But I also have problems with the family discouraging me from what I believe is God’s will for me.

Any advice?

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Madaglan:
Any advice?

I
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Congratulations!!! Love honor and respect your mother, just, in this case don’t follow her advice. God does provide. Not necessarily in the areas we want Him to provide. Your mother pointing out bankrupt Christians is a wonderful example, are they morally bankrupt? Is that where their lives are centered? If so perhaps God is giving them exactly what they need, perhaps not what they want. Do you suppose God may be trying to wake them up to what is important? No, not a new car or a color T.V. You can not serve two masters, follow the Lord, He will provide. That does not mean you need to be poor, I know some very rich, very loving, good Christians, they truly use Gods gifts to do His work. Money is not evil, the love for money is evil. To him who much is given, much is expected. You have been given a gift of faith, feed it, follow it, don’t let anyone tell you money is more important.
 
All you can do is prayerfully consider both sides and try to discern which way God is leading you. Doing God’s will is the most important thing and as long as you do that, or at least try your best to do so, I am confident that He will provide you with all that you need.

You should never make any decision, especially important ones without first taking the issue to God in prayer. People that do this will never be forsaken by our Heavenly Father!
 
Your mother is lucky. Many parents would be happy if they could convince their children to go to college.
 
Madaglan, I read that You want to do What You Want to Do. It sounds a bit immature to me. You want to go to grad scholl right now, huh? You will get a degree in theology, your mom is right. You will be UNEMPLOYED, brother. If yyou were my son, I’d ask you to work for two years before grad school.

If you are not going into the Priesthood - why in the world would you want to spend thousands of dollars to study Theology? Help yourself to earn a living.

You ddid say have you any advice.
 
Originally Quoted by Exporter:

Madaglan, I read that You want to do What You Want to Do. It sounds a bit immature to me. You want to go to grad scholl right now, huh? You will get a degree in theology, your mom is right. You will be UNEMPLOYED, brother. If yyou were my son, I’d ask you to work for two years before grad school.

If you are not going into the Priesthood - why in the world would you want to spend thousands of dollars to study Theology? Help yourself to earn a living.

You ddid say have you any advice.
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I respectfully disagree with your post. And I particuarily disagree with your statement that I will be unemployed after getting a degree in theology. One of my Catholic friends graduated (with only a B.A. in religion) last year from my undergraduate college, and she immediately found a job with a Franciscan charity service. So, finding a job will not necessarily be difficult. The difficult part will be finding a job that pays well.

It pains me greatly to answer your second question. Unfortunately, many Catholics stick to the long-held tradition that, if you are not in religious life (as a priest, nun or brother), you should not commit yourself to a study of Christian theology, since one is to follow what the Church declares rather than study the reasons behind what it declares and confirm those declarations as compatible with the teachings of the early Church. I constantly think about God, and I want to learn more about Him, His Church and His will. I want to know whether or not I adhere to the fullness of God’s will for me, and I believe that the best way to do this is to formally study my faith in a college environment.

Perhaps I will not earn a whole lot of money after finishing my graduate studies. But you know what: my salvation is more important than my social well-being. Remember: man does not live on bread alone.

I also have given some thought about becoming a priest, although certainly not a strictly diocesean one (mostly because I’m fairly resserved, and good diocesean priests are generally extroverted and social, in order to best associate with their flock). I have a special attraction to the Jesuits. They have a long, and for the most part, impressive, history behind them, and they are perceived by many as intelligent, erudite, witty and in some cases, eccentric. Unfortunately, many individuals, Catholic and non-Catholic, criticize the Jesuit order, especially as it now stands. I shall not go into the criticisms leveled against the Jesuits, but needless to say, these allegations imply that the Society of Jesus is not what it was during its heyday, and that the modern Jesuits are in general more liberal than their predecessors. So, I need to investigate further before making a decision.

Two other factors will affect my decision to become a priest: marriage and the rite that I determine is closer to the early Church. I presently do not have any intention to marry, but I do strongly desire marriage. This is a real problem for me at present, since, if it were not for the desire to marry, I would quickly enter an academic order (such as the Jesuits). Also, In the past few months I have read many books on the spirituality of the Eastern Church (The Orthodox Church), and I find myself increasingly in favor of Eastern spirituality over Western spirituality. I know, however, that there is a strong apophatic tradition in Western spirituality, but I also know that much of it is no longer prevalent and therefore is not taught to lay people, except to lay Catholic scholars. I have given some thought to changing to a Greek rite and possibly, if it is allowed, becoming an Eastern Catholic priest. However, I may not, since there are several medieval works that utilize an apophatic approach to God–an approach that is hard to find in modern Catholic understandings.

This said, I appreciate the time you spent in posting, although I disagree with you–of course in the awareness that you are not fully cognizant of my present circumstances.

And yes, I did answer an rhetorical question 🙂
 
You know, Madaglan, it sounds like you’re headed in the right direction. In my experience, the Lord has given me exactly what I need, when I needed it. It hasn’t always been easy, and I have struggled at times to resist jealous feelings of people I know who have more than I.

What helps me is putting things into perspective. Do I have a fancy car, or a huge house to live in? No, but I live comfortably, I have a wonderful wife, a son, one baby on the way, and a job that allows me to balance work with family. That is the key. I’ve had and continue to have the opportunities to move up the ladder at a rapid pace, and make a boat load of cash. But at what cost? 14-16 hour days at the office, weekends spent working, and the total alienation of my family. I see it all around me and I feel sorry for those people who feel the need to foresake their loved ones to chase the almighty dollar.

Do what you love, the rest will follow!!👍
 
Madaglan, Listen to your heart in the quiet of the night. Money and success are not the end all in life. Many people reflect on theirs lives when they’re older and find they should have followed their heart and did what they love. I did not study theology because of the very same reasons. Eeryone said 'Theology?!". Now I have a job I’m really not satisfied with and continuing my education is not so easy with 4 children. BTW, my mom also attends a 'Me first" “Christian” church and I also wonder if she has ever heard the Gospel. I will pray for you. Good luck and Peace.
 
Madaglan, I got a bachelor’s in Theology. My parents didn’t understand either, and neither did people not at my university. I ended up working with computers for a living, and I try to combine the two as much as possible (i.e., doing tech work for Catholic companies). That’s probably the only reason they stayed off my back.

As much as I hate to say it, you also need to realize that you’re an adult now. (at least, as a soon-to-be-college graduate, I’m presumming so. otherwise, you’re a child genius, and there’s other issues to be worrying about at this point). If your family is hindering you, you may need to add some separation, at least for a while. Are you still living at home? May I suggest that you get a place of your own?

Also, I would highly recommend that you look into some of the schools in Rome for your advanced studies. I think you would flourish at a place like the Angelicium. You’d be surrounded by religious and devout laity, and totally emersed in a religious culture. In addition, an ocean would be between you and your family, providing some physical separation, even if you don’t do any emotional separation.
 
. She claims to be a Christian (although a non-Catholic, create-your-own-Christianity one)
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With that attitude I would give you a hard time too. You reap what you sow .
 
Madaglan,
You wrote," Originally Quoted by Exporter:

Madaglan, I read that You want to do What You Want to Do. It sounds a bit immature to me. You want to go to grad scholl right now, huh? You will get a degree in theology, your mom is right. You will be UNEMPLOYED, brother. If yyou were my son, I’d ask you to work for two years before grad school.

If you are not going into the Priesthood - why in the world would you want to spend thousands of dollars to study Theology? Help yourself to earn a living.

You ddid say have you any advice.

I respectfully disagree with your post. And I particuarily disagree with your statement that I will be unemployed after getting a degree in theology. One of my Catholic friends graduated (with only a B.A. in religion) last year from my undergraduate college, and she immediately found a job with a Franciscan charity service. So, finding a job will not necessarily be difficult. The difficult part will be finding a job that pays well.

It pains me greatly to answer your second question. Unfortunately, many Catholics stick to the long-held tradition that, if you are not in religious life (as a priest, nun or brother), you should not commit yourself to a study of Christian theology, since one is to follow what the Church declares rather than study the reasons behind what it declares and confirm those declarations as compatible with the teachings of the early Church.
I can accept that. It seems you have your mind made up. You asked for comments and I gave you my comment/advice.

The reason I said to work for two years before entering a study of Theology is the is exactly what the Jesuits did back before 1800. They would attend school, go out and teach, then return for higher learning. This was to make them more able to communicate with the masses and makke them better preachers. I am a believer in that. It would keep you out of the ivory tower, and be more useful.My confirmation name is Ignatius.
 
First, I thank everyone for your helpful posts. I have given thought to studying in the Angelicum, since the university that I will be attending offers a foreign study program there. I also have decided that I want a job which allows me to utilize my skills to the best benefit of society, and to balance home life with work life.
Originally Quoted by Exporter:
The reason I said to work for two years before entering a study of Theology is the is exactly what the Jesuits did back before 1800. They would attend school, go out and teach, then return for higher learning. This was to make them more able to communicate with the masses and makke them better preachers. I am a believer in that. It would keep you out of the ivory tower, and be more useful.My confirmation name is Ignatius.
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Exporter,

Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. Sorry if I came down too hard on you in my previous post. Prior to my decision to attend grad school next fall, I did think about working for a few years before committing myself to a masters program. However, considering that the job market is presently terrible and that my B.A. (in English Literature) is not likely to find me a job, I believe that going to grad school right now is the best thing to do. I had originally intended to go to law school following graduation, but after much thought, I have decided that this route might distance me from God and make me unhappy. I have given thought to possibly taking a year off grad school and working for a year before returning to grad school. However, this really depends on the availability of jobs that pay enough for college.

Presently I am going to many interviews at temporary job agencies, just to find something to last until next fall. I have not receieved an offer yet, even though I graduated cum laude with honors in my discipline and did well on all the tests I took at the temp agency. I do not say this to boast, but simply to show how hard it is to find a job after graduation. My sister is having difficulties finding a job as a waitress, too, and there are dozens of restaurants around here, many to which she has applied. I happily would apply for manual work, since I don’t mind it, but unfortunately for the past year I have had constant back problems, so lifting heavy objects is out of the question, at least for now.

Luckily I went to a community college for my first year of college and graduated with my B.A. a semester early, so I will have some funds to begin grad school.
 
I just thought I would provide a little feedback here. You sound very critical of your parents. One question that hasn’t been covered is this: Are your parents providing you with any kind of room and board? Are they giving you any money? If they are, you should be grateful rather than critical. As an adult capable of supporting yourself, it might be wiser to save up some money for graduate school and then go. It is very unpleasant to owe money and have no means to pay it back.

That said, there is nothing wrong with getting a Theology degree. Also, your current degree is not as worthless as you think. You are very articulate and would probably do well in technical writing or some field like that just to earn money to live.
 
I know it is scary, not knowing exactly what the future holds, but isn’t this the essence of faith?

You know in your heart what your calling is - you can feel Jesus asking you to study and now you need to trust that whatEVER happens in the future - even if it seems horrific at the time - is happening for a reason.

At Sunday Mass, our Pastor reminded us that Jesus is either all or He is nothing and that we must be willing to give Him dominance over EVERY aspect of our lives, including our pocket book.

I am not telling you it is easy, but I will tell you it works.

Hang in there - you are in my prayers.
😃
 
God will provide all that you need, not necessarily all that you want. From your previous posts, which is the only basis we have for judging and responding to your question, it is by no means clear that going for a MA in theology is the clear path God is directing you on. From your own statement you have had a great deal of difficulty in discerning God’s will for your life, even to the extent of supermarket-shopping for spiritualities and even religious affiliations. If God is calling you to a vocation for which the MA is a requirement than the way will open up to you, but not on your timetable or in the way you expect, but in God’s time and in God’s way. If it is not what God has planned for you, you will be paying of student loans for a long time.
 
God will provide all that you need, not necessarily all that you want. From your previous posts, which is the only basis we have for judging and responding to your question, it is by no means clear that going for a MA in theology is the clear path God is directing you on. From your own statement you have had a great deal of difficulty in discerning God’s will for your life, even to the extent of supermarket-shopping for spiritualities and even religious affiliations. If God is calling you to a vocation for which the MA is a requirement than the way will open up to you, but not on your timetable or in the way you expect, but in God’s time and in God’s way. If it is not what God has planned for you, you will be paying off student loans for a long time.

the biggest mistake people make with regard to graduate study is failing to consider and reflect on what they want to do, what profession they are following, find out the credentials required, and pursue graduate study on that basis. For an undecided liberal arts major without a direction or even a line on a job, several years of work in the real world is indicated before going to grad school in any discipline.
 
Originally Quoted by puzzleannie:

God will provide all that you need, not necessarily all that you want. From your previous posts, which is the only basis we have for judging and responding to your question, it is by no means clear that going for a MA in theology is the clear path God is directing you on…
the biggest mistake people make with regard to graduate study is failing to consider and reflect on what they want to do, what profession they are following, find out the credentials required, and pursue graduate study on that basis. For an undecided liberal arts major without a direction or even a line on a job, several years of work in the real world is indicated before going to grad school in any discipline.
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I am a bit confused as to the message you are trying to get across to me. You say that God provides all which I need, but you also say that one should consider and reflect on what one wants to do. It’s not a complete contradiction, but it does sound a little odd to me, and I don’t know how to synthesize the two statements. From what you wrote, it sounds as though, even if I do scrutinizingly research into what exact field I “want” to enter, that God will do what he wishes and not what I want to do. Therefore, researching into what I want to do is vetoed by God’s will. It seems to me that, in this line of thought, one is better off not to research into one’s own wants but rather should study one’s capabilities and natural interests and follow those (unless, of course, one’s own wants are completely paralell to God’s will for you).

I believe that your second statement needs slight rephrasing. The biggest mistake people make is, not failing to consider what they want to do, but failing to consider God’s will for them.

You are quite right about making sure that you follow God’s will, but I just want to clarify that what one wants to do should be paralell with God’s will. I make this change only out of observation, and I hope you don’t take offense.

Anyhow, I know almost exactly what I want to do. I know that I want to become a teacher, and preferably, a college professor. Most college professors must have at least an M.A. I’ve wanted to become a college professor ever since I started college. I only recently have changed the field in which I desire to teach.

Concerning discernment: Although I’m not very sure of what God wants me to do, I know what God does not want me to do. I know that I am not to become a mathematician, a chemist, a lawyer, a medical doctor, an accountant, an engineer, a farmer, etc. I know that God wants me to stay in the field of education, however tangenitally. That much I know for certain. What I am less certain about is where exactly in the field of education God wishes me to be. I have a very good feeling that God wants me to have a job in which I write a lot, and for this reason I am pretty sure that God wants me to be a college professor, since professors have to frequently publish works.

So, I do have a sense of where God is guiding me, but I don’t know the exact location to which I am being guided. I do know, however, that I am not meant for business, law, medicine, science, music or math. I honestly don’t believe that it is God’s will for me to leave the field of education, and furthermore I do not see it as God’s will for me to work a few years before beginning grad school. I say this, not to self-justify myself, but to speak in earnest.
 

I just thought I would provide a little feedback here. You sound very critical of your parents. One question that hasn’t been covered is this: Are your parents providing you with any kind of room and board? Are they giving you any money?​

I noticed this particular post was ignored.
Perhaps the original poster’s attitude towards those who brought him/her into the world is the reason for the mother’s non supportive comment.
 
Originally Quoted by Lilyofthevalley:

I just thought I would provide a little feedback here. You sound very critical of your parents. One question that hasn’t been covered is this: Are your parents providing you with any kind of room and board? Are they giving you any money?
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I noticed this particular post was ignored.
Perhaps the original poster’s attitude towards those who brought him/her into the world is the reason for the mother’s non supportive comment.
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My parents are allowing me to stay at home right now, and I do get food. So the answer to your first question is “yes.” However, they do not give me any money, and I have to pay for insurance, medicine, schooling and gas on my own. They did, I admit, help my sister and me buy a car (we all chipped in).

I am not criticizing for the sake of criticism, but their attitude is just driving me crazy, and my sister feels the same way. The household is bad, has alcoholism in it, yelling, throwing items and fighting, too. Stuff gets broken. One parent calls the other one vulgar names, and so the other parent fights back with equal abuse. It is not a normal household, I can tell you that. Individually my parents are overall caring, and I respect them for what they do for me, but I think that, because of the matrimonial tensions, my sister and me get the negative externalities. I just get really angry because the family situation is so tense. If you lived in a family where people hate each other and constantly criticize one another, you would probably be critical of them, too. It’s probably wrong of me to criticize, but my parents are Janus-faced–sometimes they’re all decent, other times they’re super-angry and just plain mean.

It’s like one minute my parent says to the other, “You S*#&^# B&#@%!” and then the next minute that parent says to me in a gentler voice, “Hey buddy, want to go for ice cream?”
 
😦 Yeah, I apologize for criticizing my parents too much. It’s just that I’m going through some extremely rough times and have some health problems that are somewhat serious and which affect how I perceive the world. But I suppose Lily is right that I should not criticize my parents since they provide me with nourishment, even if they sometimes inadvertently cause me harm.
 
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