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EveningSkye111
Guest
I don’t want to hijack this thread. Maybe I should start my own as I am in desperate need of help.
Still praying for the OP. Don’t give up…
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Still praying for the OP. Don’t give up…
A
ajecphotos
Guest
Everyones cross can weigh differently. Some have very light ones while some have extremely heavy ones!! Carrying our crosses can be so hard. So painfull.
You have to remember that while you are carrying your cross God is carrying you!
God is full of mercy and love. He knows your problems. We have free will in life. I am sure that by prayer and faithfulness to God he will help. Maybe the help is there for you to take? Maybe you need a little bit more faith to see that help?
Pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Ask God to guide along the path you are treading. He will help!
God bless
You have to remember that while you are carrying your cross God is carrying you!
God is full of mercy and love. He knows your problems. We have free will in life. I am sure that by prayer and faithfulness to God he will help. Maybe the help is there for you to take? Maybe you need a little bit more faith to see that help?
Pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Ask God to guide along the path you are treading. He will help!
God bless
C
Convert_in_99
Guest
No need to be harsh! If you can’t hold your tongue just offer prayers or better yet simply don’t post anything!It’s how you respond to things in this life that place you where you’re going to spend eternity. Have a “woe is me attitude” and never think of others less fortunate, and no wonder people are miserable.
There is always something to be thankful for.
P
pensmama87
Guest
It’s not harsh, but truthful. Sometimes the truth is hard to hear, and that’s when we need it most.No need to be harsh! If you can’t hold your tongue just offer prayers or better yet simply don’t post anything!
We all endure suffering. A lot of it is private, so others look at us and have no idea what we are going through, and think our lives are perfect (or at least better than theirs.)
I have been angry at God many times in my life. I used to hold onto it and resent him (trying to be secret, as if He didn’t know!) and would refuse to take it to prayer (I have struggled with this in other relationships as well - nursing secret resentments that grow larger and larger). I have learned to take it to Him, to ask, as Jesus did, “Why have you forsaken me?” Because that’s what it feels like. I have also learned to -oh, and this hurts! - to be humble. To stop treating God as if He owes me for being faithful, like I’m an equal. He already gave me my Son (and much more, if I could take a step back for a minute and look at the blessings I have.)
I am sympathetic to you. But I would also encourage you to take to prayer the posts on this thread that you find challenging as well as the ones you find affirming. Perhaps they are there for a reason.
C
Convert_in_99
Guest
Thank you to all for your prayers and kind replies. 
Well it was a very difficult Easter. Good Friday was a surprisingly “good head day” for me. If you are familiar with mental illness then you know what a rare blessing that was! I was calm and could focus on my prayers (not very common for me.) I went to Good Friday service and had a good day over all. Thanks be to God!!! :heaven:
Then came Saturday. It was not a good head day and I was on the edge all day with anxiety and terrible thoughts and and just knew I was not doing well. I had nightmares all night where I was screaming and calling out (not that rare for me) and woke up very anxious, very mentally tortured and very mentally sick. I took my panic attack medicine that helped me make it to and through church. I knew people could tell I was off and being used to people staring I just tried my best to hold still and not rock or sway or wring my hands. (Soothing coping mechanisms.) I was so relieved for it to be over and I made it home. Hubby made an Easter dinner and I went to bed around 2:30pm and didn’t wake up until 5:30am this morning to take the dogs out. I am still exhausted and mentally on edge meaning I could go downhill again any moment and have to have a repeat of yesterday.
It’s so hard to see Gods plan in all this and to feel His Gooness in all this
Well it was a very difficult Easter. Good Friday was a surprisingly “good head day” for me. If you are familiar with mental illness then you know what a rare blessing that was! I was calm and could focus on my prayers (not very common for me.) I went to Good Friday service and had a good day over all. Thanks be to God!!! :heaven:
Then came Saturday. It was not a good head day and I was on the edge all day with anxiety and terrible thoughts and and just knew I was not doing well. I had nightmares all night where I was screaming and calling out (not that rare for me) and woke up very anxious, very mentally tortured and very mentally sick. I took my panic attack medicine that helped me make it to and through church. I knew people could tell I was off and being used to people staring I just tried my best to hold still and not rock or sway or wring my hands. (Soothing coping mechanisms.) I was so relieved for it to be over and I made it home. Hubby made an Easter dinner and I went to bed around 2:30pm and didn’t wake up until 5:30am this morning to take the dogs out. I am still exhausted and mentally on edge meaning I could go downhill again any moment and have to have a repeat of yesterday.
It’s so hard to see Gods plan in all this and to feel His Gooness in all this
J
josie_L
Guest
Hi Convert in 99, I know this may sound trite to you considering all that you’ve gone through, but if you keep the faith and believe, and repeat to yourself, even if momentarily you have some doubts or reservations, then you will be healed and you will find peace for you and your family. It will happen (believe it will all your heart, mind and soul).My relationship with God is strange. I have never believed He likes me as an individual. He likes everyone therefore I’m included, but my life has definitely not revealed God’s personal love or favor towards me. I’ve suffered a lot all my life, but ever since I converted 16 years ago my life has been on a downward spiral. I still believe the catholic faith is the true faith, but I sure don’t feel happy about it right now.
p.s. Thank Him for the things you wish you already had, i.e., act like you’ve already received them and thank God for it (it shows you trust and have faith in Christ to believe that it will happen despite the circumstances).
I will pray for you today (and make sure to pray this prayer).
P
pensmama87
Guest
I may have missed this, but do you currently see a counselor or other mental health professional? I would imagine you would have had to see someone for the panic attack meds prescription, but with the stresses in your life and the behaviors you describe, you probably need to be seeing someone on a regular basis. If you are already, you may need to increase the frequency of your appointments, or add to the support structure you have in place for your health.Thank you to all for your prayers and kind replies.
Well it was a very difficult Easter. Good Friday was a surprisingly “good head day” for me. If you are familiar with mental illness then you know what a rare blessing that was! I was calm and could focus on my prayers (not very common for me.) I went to Good Friday service and had a good day over all. Thanks be to God!!! :heaven:
Then came Saturday. It was not a good head day and I was on the edge all day with anxiety and terrible thoughts and and just knew I was not doing well. I had nightmares all night where I was screaming and calling out (not that rare for me) and woke up very anxious, very mentally tortured and very mentally sick. I took my panic attack medicine that helped me make it to and through church. I knew people could tell I was off and being used to people staring I just tried my best to hold still and not rock or sway or wring my hands. (Soothing coping mechanisms.) I was so relieved for it to be over and I made it home. Hubby made an Easter dinner and I went to bed around 2:30pm and didn’t wake up until 5:30am this morning to take the dogs out. I am still exhausted and mentally on edge meaning I could go downhill again any moment and have to have a repeat of yesterday.
It’s so hard to see Gods plan in all this and to feel His Gooness in all this
C
Convert_in_99
Guest
Yes I see a psychiatrist regularly and am on several meds. He is a very good doctor and I trust him completely. I have had 6+years of counseling and I am beyond the realm of science so to speak at this point. There isn’t anything more they can do at this time. I have treatment resistant OCD. And GAD with panic attacks. I just have to make it one day at a time and hope I don’t have to go back to the hospital.
M
MannaG
Guest
My dear Convert, I haven’t been to CAF in quite some time and the first thread I see when I return is yours. I’m so sorry that you are struggling. I don’t have much advice but that when I am struggling, sometimes all I can muster is a simple “Jesus, help me” or “Jesus, I trust in You.” Those short exclamations help redirect my focus, even when my feelings don’t match up. I will pray for you, sister. :hug1:
J
josie_L
Guest
Convert in 99, just realize that the OCD can go away when you start realizing that the negative thoughts are not real, just your own brain in a state of anxiety, which you must reverse through the power of prayer and positivity. Whatever you are fearing is not real either, i.e., you have the power to change the way you think and how you react with the help of Christ.
P
pensmama87
Guest
This can be true…up to a point.
Mental illness is real the way physical illness is real. You wouldn’t tell a person with a broken arm, “Well, just picture it getting better and trust in Jesus and it will be healed.” Medical treatment is still required, as well as time, to ensure that it heals properly. And even so, there may be scars or pain that lingers for quite some time necessitating ongoing treatment.
That being said, it may be very helpful for the OP to realize that her distressing thoughts are a manifestation of her illness, and not indicative of how God feels about her. In pursuing good treatment and recognizing that there will be times that she feels better and worse, as with any chronic condition, I think her faith life will improve.
J
josie_L
Guest
Yes, her thoughts are a manifestation of her illness, and that is why I stated she should not fear them, i.e., fearing the thoughts is feeding the illness, that being said, I’m in no way stating that she should discontinue her therapy.
p.s. I’ve been experiencing anxiety for the last year and half (with OCD like thoughts), and the only reason I’ve improved and progressed is because God and others who I have encountered (that suffered anxiety) made me realize that there was nothing to fear, and that the thoughts were just a manifestation of the anxiety, and thus not real.
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808Catholic
Guest
If I may ask, is your current psychiatrist a Catholic psychiatrist? There are some out there that may be able to help more than a traditional secular trained psychiatrist. The reason I suggest this is that you believe you are beyond the help of science. God is not your last hope, He’s your best hope! God created us so He knows us best; He knows us individually and knows our struggles and challenges. He created the Universe around us, all the laws that govern the Universe, and even inspired medical advances to help us. If you truly believe you are past the assistance of man, try God. May God give you peace of mind and soul so that you may believe in Him.
P
pensmama87
Guest
Thanks for the clarification! Sometimes we get posters who say things like mental illness is not real, and advise stopping treatment, and I think that would be very dangerous for the OP (not to mention advising such is against forum rules.) So I’m glad that I misunderstood your post.
I have had a similar experience to you with anxiety (mine is usually hormone-related - pregnancy and postpartum have been the biggies) and it is a relief to know that I can’t rely on those thoughts. That doesn’t always stop them from coming, but it makes it a heck of a lot easier to let them go!
C
Convert_in_99
Guest
I’m sorry to hear this!Thanks for the clarification! Sometimes we get posters who say things like mental illness is not real, and advise stopping treatment, and I think that would be very dangerous for the OP (not to mention advising such is against forum rules.) So I’m glad that I misunderstood your post.
I have had a similar experience to you with anxiety (mine is usually hormone-related - pregnancy and postpartum have been the biggies) and it is a relief to know that I can’t rely on those thoughts. That doesn’t always stop them from coming, but it makes it a heck of a lot easier to let them go!
:console:
P
pensmama87
Guest
Actually I am doing the best I have in years. I used to think I just had to “tough it out” and that everything I was experiencing was the result of some major personal failing (which meant I deserved what I got, and so the downward spiral continued…)I’m sorry to hear this!
It can be hard to get out of that, but I managed, and so can you! I still have some anxiety symptoms here and there, but I can cope so much better than I used to, and I have a good support network that helps.
I am praying for you.
A
AveMaria5
Guest
Convert,Ugh! After haing our hopes up high most of the week that maybe, FINALLY we were going to get a break from at least some of our troubles, God let us down, again! God put another interview to a job right in front of our faces and it fell through! :crying: It would finally bring us in enough money that my husband wouldn’t have to work two long hard jobs anymore. We aren’t after wealth, just affording the basics on one salary.
I dont mean to be uncharitable, but I’m not sure if your husband will convert when you have the attitude you have… I mean, why would he join a church when your idea of God is that He is a mean God and He’s out to get you?
I do believe that every little thing that happens is God’s Holy will but you have to have the right attitude. God is not mean.
God loves you more than anyone on this planet ever could.
I think your problem is a lack of trust. You need to accept that God is in control, no matter what happens. Every difficulty is an opportunity to trust more and watch with wonder at how marvellous our God is and how he looks after you. You may be living on the edge right now, but God will look after you. Read Matthew 6:25
Its hard to let go and trust but thats what you need to do.
I have had many difficulties in my life and I sure everyone here has, but God wants us to trust him like little children. I have not always been good at that but I can look back at the darkest days of my life and honestly say that I can see that God did not leave me for a second… He was there through the worst times of my life.
I say this with kindness…you need to change your attitude and pray for an increase in faith. Look up the Universal prayer and pray that every day.
Look to the cross with every difficulty and see that there is nothing you could go through that our Blessed Lord did not experience. Take your eyes off your problems and turn them to God and see how your life turns around.
Ultimately God wants you to get to Heaven and every little difficulty is an opportunity to say ‘Your will be done’ and accept it with love and faith. Even if you say a hundred times a day, ‘Jesus I trust in You’, whenever something else goes wrong, you will see a change, even if you don’t completely believe it, you will come to.
The answer lies in trusting God, through everything.
God bless
S
spunjalebi
Guest
Okay so not to hijack the OP’s thread…but some of the responses here tick me off. I get why the OP is so frustrated, angry and hopeless. Why it seems nothing is going right despite her best efforts. Why despite the OP doing her best to have a good attitude, things keep going awry and then she’s told “you have a lack of trust.”
I have experienced similar issues to the OP in the last few years and I for one, am tired of being told “you need to trust God more,” “have more faith,” and what ever Catholese go-to statements exist.
In my experience, “have more faith” means letting go of decision-making to which people continue to criticize you. “Trusting God more,” gets welcomed with sighs of exasperation or words of derision. It is SO EASY to say “everyone suffers,” and all these other things when the people saying those things often had an outpouring of support from family. Many people have no support, whatsoever, and have to become self-reliant and depend on the results of their efforts to get anywhere in life.
My husband could tell his parents “well, maybe God’s will has to be done” and my husband and I will be met with rude and condescending statements. FIL is known for comments such as “you must not want to eat then,” or with something backhanded like “the Bible says those who don’t work can’t eat.” Or how clearly, we’re not doing things right so maybe we need to just work harder. Oh, and my in laws are Catholic and raised my husband Catholic. My BIL is not Catholic and his wife mocks Christianity (and organized religion in general), yet they receive praises for how good their life is and how things are clearly working out for them. Telling the OP, or me, or anyone else in a similar situation to “have more faith” doesn’t help us feel better. It doesn’t solve our problems. It doesn’t tell our parents and other family invested in our lives to back off and respect our decisions or our faith.
I am sure my response is going to be met with statements about how I clearly lack faith, and yeah you’re right I kind of do not have a lot of faith right now. It is hard to completely trust God when it seems like God just wants you to suffer for every little thing, as if the purpose of your life is to just suffer because you must suck that bad. I am tired of witnessing the pain my husband goes through when he tells me every week “I wish our lives could be normal,” or “I try so hard to be nice and work hard and people just push my buttons.” It is hard to witness your family go through these kinds of things and then all there’s left is “you need to trust God more.” Sorry, but we can’t let go because our lives kind of depend on us dealing with our problems.
L
Luvz2travel
Guest
I am so there with you. I got rid of a money pit house only to be left in a pit of debt and now I’m dealing with an large invasion of ants that I can’t get rid of in my apartment. I’ve just about tried everything the the landlord sprayed but it didn’t do a thing. I think they are in the walls. Not to mention I haven’t had a date in two years and my car needs tires or how I’ll pay my medical bills and insurance…well I cold go on but you get the idea. I didn’t even go into how my car got almost wrecked by hail then a week later was totalled in a rain storm. They totalled it out on the hail and most of my family has passed over the years… but you get the point we all have issues some of us have more disaster and losse in our lives than others. When you can’t take it try dealing with it minute by minute then hour by hour. Now I have to go home and clean up ants again in what is becoming an annoying daily occurance that nothing will seem to remedy and relieve my stress. Prayers that you find your way and I find my or at least a path.Ugh! After haing our hopes up high most of the week that maybe, FINALLY we were going to get a break from at least some of our troubles, God let us down, again! God put another interview to a job right in front of our faces and it fell through! :crying: It would finally bring us in enough money that my husband wouldn’t have to work two long hard jobs anymore. We aren’t after wealth, just affording the basics on one salary.
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