God working in our life

[homewardangel]

Hi

I have a lot of struggles in my life and I recently met with a spiritual director. I realize that I don’t always express myself very well but I do try. I met with this person 2 times and I don’t think I want to go back. But I wonder if I should give it more of a chance.

Maybe I don’t understand what spiritual directors are supposed to do, so maybe someone here can tell me.

She is a nun and I have to pay to meet with her. Is that usual, to pay for spiritual direction?

While I expect that we won’t see things exactly the same - honestly I don’t want someone to just agree with me - I want someone to help me see things in a different light so that I can have more confidence and make better decisions. I flat out don’t like a couple of the things that she said to me. But there is one thing in particular that I wonder about.

I worked at a company for 15 years and I came to a point where my boss told me that I had to travel on a regular basis. I couldn’t travel, so I was forced to leave that place of employment. I told this nun that I felt that my boss telling me that I had to travel was Gods way to get me out of that job so that I would move on with my life. And she told me that “you have God being too active in your life”.

That bothers me. I don’t know what she means by that - I thought we were supposed to try to see God in everything…

Is God active in our lives? Is my job change scenario allowing me to believe that God is more active in my life than he truly is?

Thoughts??

Terry

 

[JMJ_Theresa]

Thomas Dubay Seeking Spiritual Direction is a really good source book for discerning spiritual directors.

I asked him after a presentation about his advice for spiritual direction. He said a bad spiritual director is worse than none at all. He also said to stay away from liberal nuns. One of my tests for liberal nuns: does she wear a habit? Combined with other factors, it may point to liberality.

As far as God’s work in your life, you know He is intimately involved. There are some people who look for signs to make decisions. Maybe that is what she was referring to? As Catholics, we discern God’s will very carefully using our reason and prayer with Catholic principles.

She may have been reacting to your statement, not realizing that you had all ready discerned that travelling would adversely affect your faith life.

I understand that many spiritual directors charge a fee to support their work. Most priests are supported by their diocese or order, so their spiritual direction is part of their ministry.

I think if it is not a good fit, I wouldn’t waste my time or money.

 

[Della]

Well, I don’t think we here can second guess things said to you by your spiritual director. We can only get one side of things, for one thing, and spiritual direction is a private affair between you and your director. So, unless she says something against the faith, we really can’t tell you if her direction is good for you or not.

Having said that, if you don’t feel she is being helpful to you, then find another one. You don’t have to stick with someone if you aren’t communicating as you’d like.

As to how much God is involved in our lives, I’d say what you do–that he is involved in every aspect of our lives. But, we don’t always interpret what he is doing correctly, so moving on from one job to another doesn’t necessarily denote any major change in your life as a direct result of God’s intervention. Sometimes a job change is just a job change and nothing more. Of course, God is with us in all things, but he doesn’t always take a direct hand in moving us from one place or person to another, if you see what I mean.

And it would be best for you to have a priest as your spiritual director because he can hear your confession, as well as direct your soul. Is there a monastery nearby that offers spiritual direction by its priests? I know how busy our parish priests are, which is why they usually don’t take on people for spiritual direction. All the best to you, and God bless.

 

[homewardangel]

Thanks for your replies - I feel like we are on the same page.

That is exactly why I used my job switch as an example to her. Maybe it was God’s will that my employer propose the travel to me. But I said that doesn’t mean that it was God’s will that I do the travel, or that I switch jobs. Would I even know what God was working on until after the fact. Which I have done a time or two in my life.

Thanks for the book suggestion, I will have to check out that book.

Terry

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

Check out my page on Spiritual Direction.

Not every spiritual director is suited for every directee. It may take a while to find one that works for you.

I do not charge for direction, but some do.

I also disagree with her that God is too active in your life. God can do as he wishes and sometimes he does works through others to move us where he wants us.