Godparents for our children

[Abrigham]

We have chosen a great couple to be Godparents for both of our children who will be baptized this Easter. We’re currently in RCIA, so our young son has to wait until Easter and our daughter will be born during Lent. The couple are support volunteers for the RCIA process and we get along great and they are always enthusiastic about our son and pregnancy. And we just found out they are expecting their first child!

What is the typical relationship for children to have with their Godparents? This couple is not family, but my husband and I see this role as them becoming part of our family in the spiritual sense. Maybe an aunt and uncle role? I’m just curious if my expectations are too high or what would be typical for this type of thing.

 

[Cranch]

We have chosen a great couple to be Godparents for both of our children who will be baptized this Easter. We’re currently in RCIA, so our young son has to wait until Easter and our daughter will be born during Lent. The couple are support volunteers for the RCIA process and we get along great and they are always enthusiastic about our son and pregnancy. And we just found out they are expecting their first child!

What is the typical relationship for children to have with their Godparents? This couple is not family, but my husband and I see this role as them becoming part of our family in the spiritual sense. Maybe an aunt and uncle role? I’m just curious if my expectations are too high or what would be typical for this type of thing.

Just curious: Are you being told you must delay your children’s baptism?

I like your thoughts on the Godparents’ roles. “A sponsor also helps the baptized person to lead a Christian life in keeping with baptism and to fulfill faithfully the obligations inherent in it.” (Canon 872)

 

[Abrigham]

Our RCIA leader didn’t say we HAVE to wait to baptize our son, but it was kind of implied. My understanding is we don’t have to wait, since we are obviously planning to raise him in the Church. It really wasn’t explained to us well, but I don’t have an issue with waiting a few more months. Should I?

 

[kimg901]

We have chosen a great couple to be Godparents for both of our children who will be baptized this Easter. We’re currently in RCIA, so our young son has to wait until Easter and our daughter will be born during Lent. The couple are support volunteers for the RCIA process and we get along great and they are always enthusiastic about our son and pregnancy. And we just found out they are expecting their first child!

What is the typical relationship for children to have with their Godparents? This couple is not family, but my husband and I see this role as them becoming part of our family in the spiritual sense. Maybe an aunt and uncle role? I’m just curious if my expectations are too high or what would be typical for this type of thing.

Abrigham. Your expectations are normal. While my wife was going through RCIA a few years back a nice couple attended and we became very good friends. The husband is my sons godfather and believe it or not, I am now his wifes godparent. I also help now and then in RCIA so I can relate to your story somewhat. Wow, God is definetly with His Church!

 

[kimg901]

Our RCIA leader didn’t say we HAVE to wait to baptize our son, but it was kind of implied. My understanding is we don’t have to wait, since we are obviously planning to raise him in the Church. It really wasn’t explained to us well, but I don’t have an issue with waiting a few more months. Should I?

Your RCIA leader should have told you to have your child baptized as soon as you can. Its for the childs sake. God forbid anything happens to your children but you should do it soon. Ive been in the RCIA program for 3 years now (though this year I havent attended as much)

 

[Abrigham]

Your RCIA leader should have told you to have your child baptized as soon as you can. Its for the childs sake. God forbid anything happens to your children but you should do it soon. Ive been in the RCIA program for 3 years now (though this year I havent attended as much)

I’m starting to think our RCIA leader isn’t totally competent. She told us we didn’t need to get our marriage convalidated as well, even though I was baptized Catholic as a baby and married outside of the Church… I took it upon myself to contact the Deacon in charge of the marriage preparation to get what we need to get done to have our marriage convalidated on Easter. But I haven’t heard back from him in a few weeks, either.

 

[Aggies08]

There is a huge variation on the role godparents play- it would be best to discuss this with them.

Mine didn’t do anything growing up- they lived out of state; I never even met them until an adult.

My kids- one is a priest, we don’t see him (friends before his ordination) as he is now out of state, and we have a christmas-card type of relationship atm.

The other godparents to DD2 we see all the time, and they make an effort to go to bdays and “big” events for her.

 

[kimg901]

I’m starting to think our RCIA leader isn’t totally competent. She told us we didn’t need to get our marriage convalidated as well, even though I was baptized Catholic as a baby and married outside of the Church… I took it upon myself to contact the Deacon in charge of the marriage preparation to get what we need to get done to have our marriage convalidated on Easter. But I haven’t heard back from him in a few weeks, either.

It can take a month to 1 year for them to do anything about your marriage. It depends on alot of factors (if you were married before, etc) Just have patience and God will make it so.

 

[Abrigham]

It can take a month to 1 year for them to do anything about your marriage. It depends on alot of factors (if you were married before, etc) Just have patience and God will make it so.

We have a pretty simple case. First marriage for both of us, I can get all of our paperwork, etc. The Deacon I contacted said we should be able to be Convalidated on Easter. So I’m hoping for that.

 

[Phemie]

Relationships with godparents are quite varied, depending on the family.

My godparents were10 & 12 when I was baptized. They were my cousins and we really didn’t have more than a cousin relationship.

My children’s godparents hardly ever see them. In fact, the youngest hasn’t seen his godmother (my cousin) or probably heard from her since he was 4 and we moved clear across the country. His godfather, or rather Christian witness although that was never explained to us, his dad’s brother also lives far away and stays away from the family as much as he can.

I’m godmother to 3. One is my godmother’s daughter and she’s in her 40s. We have a great relationship but it’s not godmother/goddaughter because I was only 16 when she was born and wasn’t really allowed to be a godmother beyond the Christmas & birthday gifts and presence at her Confirmation.

The next is the child of friends who split up when she and her twin were 2. Mother has custody and is a non-Catholic, total non-believer. Dad never did his Catholic duty beyond having them baptized to please his mother. We were picked because we were friends and they knew I was Catholic and they were told they had to have a Catholic at the ceremony that didn’t mean much to either of them. They had no expectations that we’d be involved beyond the ceremony.

The girls will soon be 13 and have no Catholic instruction. We never felt we could talk to either one about this because the situation is too delicate. From a situation where we used to have family dinners together regularly we’ve gone to awkward ‘hellos’ as we meet him and the woman he left his wife for. The mother and the children have moved away and we only see them if we happen to be in that city, something that might happen once a year or less.

By contrast, the latest is 6 months and Church is important to the young family. We will be allowed to be involved in her religious life as she grows, in fact we were chosen because, to quote the mom, “You’re the one I’d send her to if she has any questions about the faith.” Although we are not related, we have become “aunt & uncle” to all the children in that family over the last 8 years so had a family relationship before being asked to be godmother/Christian witness. They picked us for the right reason and not simply because they didn’t know anyone else.

 

[kimg901]

We have a pretty simple case. First marriage for both of us, I can get all of our paperwork, etc. The Deacon I contacted said we should be able to be Convalidated on Easter. So I’m hoping for that.

That seems pretty cut and dry. First marriages. Keep praying and doing good and we will b praying for you also!!!