God loves everyone that has ever existed equally, from Mother Theresa to Hitler. His love is not diminished when someone rejects him any more than it is increased when someone accepts him. Given that it is infinite, it cannot be affected by what we do. (Note: It can be diminished or increased within the individual based on their actions, but not in terms of how much of it there is to go around.)
God’s justice demands that we all be in Hell, because we have all sinned against Him at some point in our lives (with the notable exception of Mary). God’s mercy demands that He forgive us and not hold our sins against us, given that He desires all souls to be with Him in eternity. Both of the qualities are infinite in God, so demands is not so much that there is an ultimatum on God, but rather that He is driven to do this by His very nature. He is absolutely just, and will give us what we deserve to the extent that we are unwilling to accept Him and his forgiveness.
The catch is that mercy can only be given to the extent that it is accepted by the individual. God will forgive me for anything I have ever done against Him, from lying to murder to outright denouncing Him. This forgiveness, which is always available in confession and also certain other extraordinary ways, must be accepted by the individual to have any affect though. If we are not willing to acknowledge that we have wronged God, and making an honest effort to append out lives to no longer do so, then God’s mercy will have no affect because we are unwilling to accept it.
When a person refuses to accept God’s mercy, they damn themselves to Hell. The chief pain of Hell is complete and total separation from God, who is the source of all that is good. This is the result of their final decision that they do not wish to serve Him or be in His presence. In essence, when someone goes to Hell, it is because they have chosen to be there through their actions and decisions in life. Even if a soul had the opportunity to leave Hell and enter Heaven, they would not do so because it would require them to submit to Him. Hell is not really a punishment for our sins in the same way that a jail sentence is punishment for stealing something; that is the purpose of Purgatory. Hell is the reality that exists for those who want to be separated from God; a necessary potential since we have the capacity to chose for Him. (If we couldn’t choose against Him, then we couldn’t really choose for Him either, since no choice exists.)
Please note, this is my personal understanding of the subject based on my studies, and may not be 100% accurate. If anyone has any corrections for me, please share them.
