Going back to the past

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adamhovey1988

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You know, sometimes we get nostalgic. Here’s the thing, I didn’t have a good childhood. I had to watch my father with a terrible disease dying, and my mother marrying someone who was physically abusive towards me afterwards. Now, I’m not knocking my mother, God knows she did the best she could, but it got me thinking about the places I’ve lived. The positive part of modern technology is, I can go onto Google and use streetview to see how things have changed. Whilst it may not entirely be up to date, It’s still a lot closer to now, than say, 1998. So, I’m glad that Family Video and Dairy Queen are still in Kewanee (which is where I lived when my dad died in 1997), I’m glad to see that someone is taking care of the old house in rural Georgia. I am glad that Davenport has new job opportunities. But, at the same time, there are always going to be things that you can’t bring back. I can’t bring back my father, whom I have missed everyday since April of 1997. I can bring back memories of my uncle and I fishing, but I don’t want to, as he committed suicide. And there’s the memories that won’t go away, like being bullied for being quiet. I actually had teachers that thought I was mute. One, won’t say her name, that was physically abusive. Sometimes, we need to go back to the past. Sometimes we need that closure. Sometimes that will never come. But, I think we can achieve peace by striving for peace. Sorry about my ranting, God bless y’all, and I hope you understand what I’m getting at. If not, that’s okay.
 
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Now you’ve got me looking up my old neighborhood and elementary school on Google Street View, with a mixed bag of memories.

(sigh)
 
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It is sad that you had bad teachers. One would have thought that you, being identified as having Asperger Disorder (you know, they’ve since removed that from the DSM-V for some reason), teachers would have been up-to-date with the disorder and known that being quite is one of the idiosyncrasies that accompany it. But then, perhaps you were diagnosed later in life… And of course, having taught special education for 15 years (I have been teaching at a university for the past 11 years), I probably knew more than others.

I think it is normal for people to ruminate on the past. There are always things you cannot bring back or change. That is part of life. You have to either remember fondly or make peace with the past. That is what I have learned in my life, such that it is. 🙂
 
I went to many of them. The one private school I went to for a year was very good.
 
True. Nor are you another animal that chews cud. I was thinking the main definition, though 🙂.
 
Yes, we all have memories we wish we could come to terms with and make peace. Easier said than done.

Have you tried scrap-booking? Do you have old photos, cards, letters and can you put some of your memories into writing? If you do any original artwork (doesn’t have to be professional quality, just spontaneous and expressive), decorating pages with that, and/or stickers to complement or augment some of the stories helps make each memory page special.

I’ve done that with my childhood memories, and it’s a great way to preserve some personal history.

As for the memories that still haunt you, please remember that we’re all only human and deeply flawed. Makes it easier to forgive some of those bad teachers or the stepfather who abused you. Perhaps their own lives weren’t easy and they had their own demons to contend with. We all have demons.

In 2014, hubby and I took a memory lane trip down to southern California and revisited our old places. Hubby revisited the first apartment he ever rented, and two locations where he had his businesses.

I revisited my old elementary school, my grandparents’ old house in Chula Vista, and the site of the Lima bean ranch we lived on for the first nine years of my life, which is now the site of the Southwestern College campus.

I also revisited the home we had built for us when we moved off of the ranch, and I tried to find the little studio apartment I had lived in before meeting hubby, but apparently that address no longer exists. I think it burned down a few years ago. The lady who had lived in the main house passed away.

I revisited the site of the old Bonita store we used to shop at, surrounded by Eucalyptus trees.

I took lots of pictures, and all of that I’ve entered into my scrap-book.

I think you’ll find putting one together quite rewarding.
 
I do write. I can’t take a picture of the house I lived in when I was really young. The house has since been torn down… ☹️
 
I definitely had good memories. I loved the Catholic school I went to. I remember my first day of kindergarten (which was at a public school) and my dad taking me (keeping in mind, I was in pre-school before that). I remember having water balloon fights in the really nice neighbourhood I lived in in an Augusta suburb until 3 am as a teenager. That same area, I had a girl across the street from me that I liked, and she went to a dance with my next door neighbour, and he was all up over other girls (at least according to her), and she was crying in front of his house. And I went, asked her what was wrong, she told me, and cried in my arms. In life, you take the good and the bad, and that is definitely the good. I’ve always enjoyed helping people. When I live in Iowa/Illinois, I used to sandbag, because Davenport floods just about every year. IN FACT, there is some footage of me in 2000 for the local Fox affiliate, on the news. I was not interviewed, just recorded.
 
The house I lived in until age 9 now looks so small (1180 square foot, 110 square meter, family of 6), but it sure seemed large at the time.
 
I don’t know how big the house was that I lived in when I was little was. The yard was big (we had a pond and farm animals, back when you could have farm animals in a city of 100,000), we also had a really big playhouse that I think my dad built, if I recall correctly. It was actually a former priest’s rectory, so I am surprised the city of Davenport had it torn down. Then again, my parents only paid $50 US for it.
 
I get nostalgic often. Sometimes I look things up but it’s complicated. I listen to the Smiths a lot lol.
 
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