Going to a TLM for my first time..what do I do?

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FuzzyBunny116

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I’m sixteen years old, and in two weeks I’ll be heading to my first TLM Mass. I realize that these are quite different from my usual Novus Ordo. Is there a site someone could link me to that would tell me how to procede and what to do? My dad is taking me, but he hasn’t been to a Tridentine probably since he was around ten. I begin to see what Protestants mean when they say they think all Catholic eyes are on them when they go to their first Mass…
 
When you attend a Traditonal Latin Mass, if you are a woman, or girl, must cover your head witha head covering . You cannot wear short skirts. you must have your legs fully covered by a dress, No jeans. No showy tops either. Women are to dress conservatively. Men must wear pants suitable for the occasion, no jeans. They must also wear a shirt that is not short sleeved, but over the elbows. You can ask the Traditional priest of where your going before you go what you must where and what you must do. It is a very reverent Mass. women are not to wear strapless dresses, or spaghetti strap type dresses. It is very traditional. Generally the women I see there, do not show their arms. They cover them with a long sleeved dress. Long skirt well below the knee. My mom says ankle length is appropriate. Also, you do not remove your head covering at all during the Mass. Itis to remain on you unril you leave. Men wear no head covering, just a nice shirt, or suit with appropriate pants. and no street shoes, or sandals. not from what I have been told. Men wear dress shoes.
 
Just pick up the missalette and follow along. Try to watch the priest’s movements and align that with the instructions and pictures in the missalette. Read both the parts for the priest and server to pray the mass. In some parishes they use what is called a dialog mass where the people also say the responses of the servers. As far as posture goes, just follow what the crowd does.

Don’t expect to understand a lot in your first trip. My wife had not been to a TLM until about a year ago. It took her a couple of months to get where she could follow along in the missal without losing her place. For your dad, he may be surprised how quickly it all comes back. When we started in the TLM community, that first mass was just like I had been going to it for years, even though it had been more like 35 years since I had been to a TLM.

With a name like Michael you are probably not female, but if any go with you remind them to take head coverings with them. If they don’t have a headcovering, usually there is a basket in the back that has some “loaners”.
 
I think one of hear read your name wrong. Is is Michael, as would be Mike for short, therefore male?

SnorterLuster has the right idea. There will be a missal there, and as far as when to stand sit kneel, keep an eye on the rest of the congregation, they’ll know.
 
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gelsbern:
I think one of hear read your name wrong. Is is Michael, as would be Mike for short, therefore male?
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I saw that, and corrected it 🙂
 
Heheh, you are fast, I meant to hit Preview and accidentlly hit submit before I was done.
 
Michael,
The best advice I got from my mon is to just relax the first couple of times. Watch and learn. Don’t be so focused on doing everything just right the first time. You will miss the beauty of it if you stress too much. Also give it a real good chance before you make any opinion. I only go a few times a year so I always feel like I’m learning, but I love it so much that it’s worth it.
 
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Monica37:
Michael,
The best advice I got from my mon is to just relax the first couple of times. Watch and learn. Don’t be so focused on doing everything just right the first time. You will miss the beauty of it if you stress too much. Also give it a real good chance before you make any opinion. I only go a few times a year so I always feel like I’m learning, but I love it so much that it’s worth it.
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This I think is the best advice.

Relax and listen and pray. Don’t even pick up a missle and don’t try to understand everything - just rest in the experience. Then after that then you can start doing the other stuff.
 
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mosher:
This I think is the best advice.

Relax and listen and pray. Don’t even pick up a missle and don’t try to understand everything - just rest in the experience. Then after that then you can start doing the other stuff.
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I’d say that all depends on how well you know the current Mass and how prepared you are. I was an experienced server and had read up a little on the forums before going, and followed my first TLM pretty well and had no problems at all the second time around.

My two cents would be that whether you “understand” what’s going on or not, focus on uniting your prayer with the priest’s - if you can do this by following the actual text, great, but if that’s too difficult at first just do it in whatever way you can.
 
Peace be with you!

I’ve never been to a TLM yet either, but I have been to an NO Latin High Mass and a Dominican Rite Low Mass. The Dominican Rite Mass was, I’m guessing, nearly identical to the TLM. The only noticable difference (and I was only going off of what I knew of the TLM from reading about it and talking to people) was that in the confeteor “mea culpa” was said once instead of “mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa”. The priest faced the tabernacle, though they just set the candles on the opposite side of the altar (they didn’t take out the altar and use the old one with the tabernacle on it). There was a lot more kneeling and there were different prayers said too. It wasn’t too hard to follow in the missal, though, so I wouldn’t expect you will have trouble. After the Mass was over we said the “Hail, Holy Queen” and St. Michael prayer (kneeling, with the priest and acolyte kneeling in front of the altar). I’ve only been to this Dominican Rite Mass once, but that church is a Dominican parish and they do the Mass on the first Saturday of every month, in the morning. I’m going to try to go as often as I can (this same church does a Gregorian chant Mass every week, part in Latin, and Latin High Masses on some feastdays).

Anyway, you’ll have to let us all know how it goes!

In Christ,
Rand
 
Rand Al'Thor:
Peace be with you!

I’ve never been to a TLM yet either, but I have been to an NO Latin High Mass and a Dominican Rite Low Mass. The Dominican Rite Mass was, I’m guessing, nearly identical to the TLM. The only noticable difference (and I was only going off of what I knew of the TLM from reading about it and talking to people) was that in the confeteor “mea culpa” was said once instead of “mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa”. The priest faced the tabernacle, though they just set the candles on the opposite side of the altar (they didn’t take out the altar and use the old one with the tabernacle on it). There was a lot more kneeling and there were different prayers said too. It wasn’t too hard to follow in the missal, though, so I wouldn’t expect you will have trouble. After the Mass was over we said the “Hail, Holy Queen” and St. Michael prayer (kneeling, with the priest and acolyte kneeling in front of the altar). I’ve only been to this Dominican Rite Mass once, but that church is a Dominican parish and they do the Mass on the first Saturday of every month, in the morning. I’m going to try to go as often as I can (this same church does a Gregorian chant Mass every week, part in Latin, and Latin High Masses on some feastdays).

Anyway, you’ll have to let us all know how it goes!

In Christ,
Rand
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You can go don’t to St. Brigita’s (sp?) in Portland if you want to go to a TLM in your area. I prefered Holy Rosary and the Dominicans but that was just because you would feed me … lol.
 
Hi again Fuzzy,

Is this an SSPX Mass your going to? If so, Rand al Thor told me it
is a mortal sin to go to one, if it is, reconsider.
 
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Marilena:
Hi again Fuzzy,

Is this an SSPX Mass your going to? If so, Rand al Thor told me it
is a mortal sin to go to one, if it is, reconsider.
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That must be qualified by saying that it is not a sin to attend a SSPX chapel out of grave necessity just like it is not a sin to attend a Divine Liturgy of an Orthodox sect or the Polish National Church etc if it is done out of grave necessity.
 
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mosher:
That must be qualified by saying that it is not a sin to attend a SSPX chapel out of grave necessity just like it is not a sin to attend a Divine Liturgy of an Orthodox sect or the Polish National Church etc if it is done out of grave necessity.
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At the risk of derailment…
There is never a grave necessity to attend a schismatic liturgy. If one cannot attend a liturgy in communion with Rome there is no obligation. One may, however, attend schismatic liturgies as an observer so long as one does not receive the Eucharist there.
 
Andreas Hofer:
At the risk of derailment…
There is never a grave necessity to attend a schismatic liturgy. If one cannot attend a liturgy in communion with Rome there is no obligation. One may, however, attend schismatic liturgies as an observer so long as one does not receive the Eucharist there.
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I am just stating that that is the provision of the law.
 
I’d say that all depends on how well you know the current Mass and how prepared you are. I was an experienced server and had read up a little on the forums before going, and followed my first TLM pretty well and had no problems at all the second time around.
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My two cents would be that whether you “understand” what’s going on or not, focus on uniting your prayer with the priest’s - if you can do this by following the actual text, great, but if that’s too difficult at first just do it in whatever way you can.
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I was able, as well, to follow along the first time. I followed perfectly the second time, and when I served (third TLM ever, and I was serving), I followed without a missal.

Participation is indeed at a different level. Do not expect the priest to try to “engage” you or “apply” the Mass to your life. It is a solemn ceremony, said in a solemn manner. It is meant to praise God, not to edify the people. Therefore, you must also go with this in mind; seek to give praise and thanksgiving, not to be inspired or moved. If you go in seeking inspiration or movement as you conceive them, you will receive neither. If you follow the advice of the excellent post quoted above, you may very well get both and more.

Benedicat te omnipotens Deus; Pater et Filius et Spiritus Sanctus.

-SPXII
 
When I went to the Tridentine Mass for the first time, I collected a head scarf at the door and went in.

I realised quicky I was the only female wearing slacks, they will not chuck you out, but it makes you stand out as a first timer. Do not presume there is a missalette or whatever available, there was not when I attended.

Try to position yourself where you can see what is going on . The priest may say the epistle and gospel in English or whatever at the sermon period.

Best to go to the Solemn Mass of Missa Cantata on a Sunday as Low Mass is often almost completely silent, particulary if the altar boys are quietly spoken and priest. Low Mass is where the prayers after Mass are said,3 Hail Marys, Hail Holy Queen and several others.

You are not committing a mortal sin for attendiing such a Mass. The priest may be disobedient but that is all, despite the comments made by some on this site. The canonical wrangling is legalistic and Gorgon knottish…do not get hung up about it.
 
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Melanie01:
"You are not committing a mortal sin for attendiing such a Mass. The priest may be disobedient but that is all, despite the comments made by some on this site. The canonical wrangling is legalistic and Gorgon knottish…do not get hung up about it.
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"

Then why was I told it was a mortal sin to attend it? Do you have
proof it is not? If so, can you please provide the link? I thought since the SSPX was in schism with Rome, that it is a mortal sin to attend
one?
 
Marilena, it is probably a mortal sin to attend the SSPX Mass on Sunday instead of a Mass in a Roman Catholic church.
 
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