Going to Confession Correctly

[TrueLight]

I am also happy to report that I got to use the For these sins and all my other sins… line. It was most edifying to not stumble around in the dark for something to say to end my part of listing my sins. Thank you.

God Bless.
Anathama Sit

By the way, I love the word confessor. I want a regular confessor.

 

[jmcrae]

Oh okay. I thought I was missing something like, “And thus ends the listing of my sins.”

“For these and for all the sins of my life, Father, especially any that I may have forgotten, I am truly sorry.”

 

[jmcrae]

if you say “for these and all the sins of my past life I am heartily sorry (not partly sorry, as our 2nd graders have been saying)” he will know you are finished.

I hate it when you dump all this heavy stuff and heave a sigh of relief and the priest says, “is that it?” like, it wasn’t enough for you, yah want me to invent something???

Actually, I had a priest say that to me, and at that moment I thought of three more things to confess. I was glad he asked!

 

[CompSciGuy]

Sometimes I won’t confess a venial sin but it will bother me until I go and confess it. But because of my scrupulosity I will question whether my first confession was valid since I witheld a venial sin. I think the important thing is, if it is weighing heavy on your heart then you should confess it; and don’t worry too much about doing everything “perfectly,” I think that God understand our hearts and his forgiveness is not dependent on our ability to follow the steps perfectly.

 

[TimothyH]

there has been given too mych emphasis in SAYING ALL THE SINS, and less emphasis in repentance, changing of life, prayer to God to give us grace to overcome what we cannot do by ourselves.

That creates guilt on people.

Say to God that you are a sinner, that you are sorrowful for the offenses you did, that you encevour the best to be better and better, that you cannot do it alone, aske for his forgiveness and grace. For me, that is all confession is about. The list of sins is not the more important thing.

This post brings up an important point.

A thourough examination and statement of all sins is extremely important. But it is also important to remember that the sacrament of pennance is listed in the Catechism, along with anointing of the sick, as a sacrament of healing. The Catechism does not list any sacraments of forgiveness. There are sacraments of initiation, sacraments of healing, and sacraments at the service of communion, but no sacrament of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is good, as far as it goes. We all need forgiveness. But forgiveness does not go far enough. Listing your sins isn’t good enough. If all you want is forgiveness, well you will be back with the same sins sooner or later. Pfaffenhoffen says to ask for grace and that is exactly right. Another way to state this is to ask for healing. Remember that confession is a sacrament of healing.

We often say that confession is a profound encounter with Christ. But Christ spent much time healing people. The Holy Spirit is ofent called the Doctor of Souls. We have to go into confession seeking healing, not just forgiveness.

*I’t has been four weeks since my last confession and I accuse myself of the following sins… blah, blah, blah, sin, sin, sin… These are all the sins I can remember Father. I ask God’s forgiveness and that Jesus Christ the Healer and the Holy Spirit heal me of these sins so that I don’t have to come back and repeat these same sins to you. *

I usually say something like this in the confessional. When I made my confession of 37 years, I asked to be healed of my sins. I had no idea at the time that the Confession was a sacrament of healing. I just blurted out that I needed to be healed of my sins; I think God put the words in my mouth for me. Only a few days later, when reading the Catechism about the sacrament, did it dawn on me that I had even asked for healing.

Much to Pfaffenhoffen’s point, listing all our sins is important, but that’s only the start. Forgiveness is only the start.

-Tim-

 

[TimothyH]

It also occured to me to mention that in terms of confession, we are in this together. Catholicism is not a “Jesus and Me” religion. Our religion, our very salvation, does not depend on our personal relationship with Jesus alone.

Our grace and merit can be applied to anyone, and our sins tear the fabric of humanitie’s relationship with God, no less than did Adam and Eve’s original sin. Our confession builds up what is lacking in Christ’s body, the Church. (cf Collisians 1:24)

*CCC 1469

This sacrament reconciles us with the Church. Sin damages or even breaks fraternal communion. The sacrament of Penance repairs or restores it. In this sense it does not simply heal the one restored to ecclesial communion, but has also a revitalizing effect on the life of the Church which suffered from the sin of one of her members. Re-established or strengthened in the communion of saints, the sinner is made stronger by the exchange of spiritual goods among all the living members of the Body of Christ, whether still on pilgrimage or already in the heavenly homeland:

It must be recalled that . . . this reconciliation with God leads, as it were, to other reconciliations, which repair the other breaches caused by sin. The forgiven penitent is reconciled with himself in his inmost being, where he regains his innermost truth. He is reconciled with his brethren whom he has in some way offended and wounded. He is reconciled with the Church. He is reconciled with all creation.
*

The way I see it, we have an obligation to each other to confess regularly.

-Tim-

 

[Anathama_Sit]

By the way, I love the word confessor. I want a regular confessor.

Greetings TrueLight,

It is indeed a blessing to have a regular Confessor. For me it does many things.

1. It takes the nervousness out of Confession because I know my Confessor quite well and vice verse.
2. He knows me quite well and I have been confessing to him for nearly three years now, and so he knows my patterns and such. I get so much out of Confession becuase of this.
3. I am kept very accountable.
4. I have really seen how Jesus is present in this Sacrament because my Confessor is very holy and is so patient with me, never has he been angry but understanding.
5. I really have come to know and to love and to appreciate Confession ever much more.
6. You can schedule confession whenver you need it and not feel restricted to Confession said right before Mass.
7. Sometimes the penances are much more helpful than they would be in just going to a random priest. The penances target what is going on.
8. It is very helpful in overcoming vices and increasing in virtue. There are times where I confess to not being humble enough or whatever.

There are probably more blessings too. Though having a Confessor is not required, it is very helpful.

For me my spiritual director is my Confessor. Not all fall under this category. Sometimes it is better to have your Confessor separate than your spiritual director and sometimes it is better to have them both one and the same. Much prayer and discnernment is needed from both sides to see what is best for a particular person.

God Bless.
Anathama Sit

 

[TrueLight]

Greetings TrueLight,

It is indeed a blessing to have a regular Confessor. For me it does many things.

1. It takes the nervousness out of Confession because I know my Confessor quite well and vice verse.
2. He knows me quite well and I have been confessing to him for nearly three years now, and so he knows my patterns and such. I get so much out of Confession becuase of this.
3. I am kept very accountable.
4. I have really seen how Jesus is present in this Sacrament because my Confessor is very holy and is so patient with me, never has he been angry but understanding.
5. I really have come to know and to love and to appreciate Confession ever much more.
6. You can schedule confession whenver you need it and not feel restricted to Confession said right before Mass.
7. Sometimes the penances are much more helpful than they would be in just going to a random priest. The penances target what is going on.
8. It is very helpful in overcoming vices and increasing in virtue. There are times where I confess to not being humble enough or whatever.

There are probably more blessings too. Though having a Confessor is not required, it is very helpful.

For me my spiritual director is my Confessor. Not all fall under this category. Sometimes it is better to have your Confessor separate than your spiritual director and sometimes it is better to have them both one and the same. Much prayer and discnernment is needed from both sides to see what is best for a particular person.

God Bless.
Anathama Sit

Thanks for sharing your experience!

 

[Gordon_Sims]

What are you supposed to say when you’re finished listing your sins?

The priests always ask me, “Anything else?”.

I’ve gotten that the last few times. What was awful was that the time before last, after asking if there was anything else, the priest then asked, “Are you sure?” The awful part was that, after telling him that I was, indeed, sure, after he finished absolving me I remembered one of the three main sins I’d gone in there to confess. I felt bad about it, but he just smiled, told me not to worry and said that God absolved all my sins so I didn’t need to hold it over until next time.

 

[Joannm]

I know people who prefer their SD to be different than their Confessor (for some it can’t be the same since their SD is not a priest). But for me I like it since he knows me very well as he has been my director for going on 14 years. He also understands when I say something that other priests might not see as seriously sinful. For instance when I was on vacation I didn’t go to daily Mass. That is not a sin, but since I am do normally go to daily mass I saw it as being sinful and he agreed based on a long discussion we had during direction.

Also I don’t have to explain situations. For example I went to a priest for the first time, confessed a sin and he totally misunderstood and gave me advice that really had nothing to do with the situation and wasn’t helpful at all. If I had gone to my regular confessor he would have already known my life situation and would have led me in the right direction (which he did the next time we met)

 

[Anathama_Sit]

I know people who prefer their SD to be different than their Confessor (for some it can’t be the same since their SD is not a priest). But for me I like it since he knows me very well as he has been my director for going on 14 years. He also understands when I say something that other priests might not see as seriously sinful. For instance when I was on vacation I didn’t go to daily Mass. That is not a sin, but since I am do normally go to daily mass I saw it as being sinful and he agreed based on a long discussion we had during direction.

Also I don’t have to explain situations. For example I went to a priest for the first time, confessed a sin and he totally misunderstood and gave me advice that really had nothing to do with the situation and wasn’t helpful at all. If I had gone to my regular confessor he would have already known my life situation and would have led me in the right direction (which he did the next time we met)

Greetings Joannm,

Yes that is a great benefit of having both the Confessor and the SD the same. I like the fact that I don’t have to explain and will never be accused of scrupolosity because he knows my patterns and behaviours.

For me I perfer that the SD and the Confessor are the same.

God Bless.
Anathama Sit

 

[acadian]

For a long time, I felt like I wasn’t “doing” confession quite good enough. I think, though, that the important thing is that we keep going. Jesus takes our sincere, but imperfect, efforts and perfects them.

I find it most helpful to spend time in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament a day or so before I go to confession. Things that I hide from myself, Jesus will sometimes gently point out.

I have a regular confessor - in large part because our parish has only one priest, so if you go to confession there it’s no mystery who is going to be hearing them. He has been there for about 4 years. Sometimes I get no advice from him; sometimes it’s not needed. Sometimes the “spiritual direction” shows up in the penance he gives. Other times, if I have questions, or if the Spirit moves him, he has a good bit to say. He doesn’t have to talk long to say a lot!

Thank you Lord for priests who hear confessions!

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

This post brings up an important point.

A thourough examination and statement of all sins is extremely important. But it is also important to remember that the sacrament of pennance is listed in the Catechism, along with anointing of the sick, as a sacrament of healing. The Catechism does not list any sacraments of forgiveness. There are sacraments of initiation, sacraments of healing, and sacraments at the service of communion, but no sacrament of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is good, as far as it goes. We all need forgiveness. But forgiveness does not go far enough. Listing your sins isn’t good enough. If all you want is forgiveness, well you will be back with the same sins sooner or later. Pfaffenhoffen says to ask for grace and that is exactly right. Another way to state this is to ask for healing. Remember that confession is a sacrament of healing.

We often say that confession is a profound encounter with Christ. But Christ spent much time healing people. The Holy Spirit is ofent called the Doctor of Souls. We have to go into confession seeking healing, not just forgiveness.

I’t has been four weeks since my last confession and I accuse myself of the following sins… blah, blah, blah, sin, sin, sin… These are all the sins I can remember Father. I ask God’s forgiveness and that Jesus Christ the Healer and the Holy Spirit heal me of these sins so that I don’t have to come back and repeat these same sins to you.

I usually say something like this in the confessional. When I made my confession of 37 years, I asked to be healed of my sins. I had no idea at the time that the Confession was a sacrament of healing. I just blurted out that I needed to be healed of my sins; I think God put the words in my mouth for me. Only a few days later, when reading the Catechism about the sacrament, did it dawn on me that I had even asked for healing.

Much to Pfaffenhoffen’s point, listing all our sins is important, but that’s only the start. Forgiveness is only the start.

-Tim-

I agree with you. Healing and renewing the alliance between God and Man is fundamental.