Going to confession tonight and need help

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GodIsGracious

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I haven’t been to confession in years. I’m coming back to the Catholic church and know that in order to receive communion during Mass this Sunday I need to confess.

I will be spending some time in prayer today to examine my conscience. I have some questions.
  1. I never really knew what the steps to confession were. i.e. step 1 is this, step 2 is that, etc. Like, what is the order of steps during confession and how does it go?
  2. I realize that not only should you say specific sins and specific number of times, it’s been years. Atleast … 6 or 7 for me. I’m not even sure how long ago. So I don’t necessarily have a specific number of times for sins. How would I address the number of times during confession?
I’d really like to go tonight. I have been reflecting on my sins and believe I have them in general terms. Today I will try and get as specific as possible. So if you have suggestions I would really appreciate it.

PS: I’m not trying to rush into anything. Once I decided I was going to go to confession so I could receive communion, in my area there were several parishes that offered confessions through out the week, I was just not ready at the time but gave myself a deadline so as to not procrastinate but to give myself time to reflect on what I need to say. I hope this is a good thing. I want to be able to do this as thoroughly as possible.
 
How wonderful that God’s grace is working in your life so strongly!

As for procedure, you may make the sign of the cross and say, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s about 7 years since my last confession.” The priest may greet you at this point. If not, just go on to say your sins. When you finish, you may say, “I am sorry for these and all the sins of my past life.” The priest will probably have some advice for you, then will ask you to say your act of contrition and give you a penance and absolution. He may say, “Give thanks to the Lord for He is good.” You would respond to that, “His mercy endures forever.” Then the priest may say, “Go in peace.” And you thank him and leave.

If you don’t know the act of contrition by memory, you can take a copy with you, or make one up on the spot.

As for the numbers of sins, you can make a good estimate. For example, “I did X about three times a week for two years.” Or, “I haven’t been to Sunday or holy day Mass other than Christmas and Easter for the last 7 years.” Or, “I received Holy Communion unworthily when I attended Mass on Christmas and Easter for the last X years.” Or, “I had an extramarital affair that lasted 7 months.” I’m sure you’ll remember the really big sins by number: “I murdered two people and robbed three banks.” 😉

Alternatively, you can simply tell the priest that you’ve been away for a number of years and ask for his help.

I’ll be praying for you. Please come back and let us know how it goes. You’re gonna feel so great!!!

Betsy
 
I had gone many years without going to confession myself. I got online and got all the info I needed, but it didn’t seem enough. My inexperience was still scaring me. But I found some very good prayers (which I am unable to find them exact second, but I have made my own prayer cards out of them) and they settled me down, and actually made me want to run to church to confess, now thats some powerfully written prayers. And the Holy Spirit told me to go in and just tell the priest my truthful story. That it had been awhile, and I asked him to be patient and to help me out. He was so pleased I was there and I have the greatest confession ever. So I just suggest getting in the confessional booth, and let the Holy Spirit take over and just “talk” to the priest and tell him your sins. It is that easy, now I know that, and boy am I glad I know that. I have moved twice since that first confession back into the church, and that priest has also been reappointed, to my current parish… ironic? Nah, divine providence.

Guide for Examination of Conscience for Confession of Sins
scborromeo.org/confess.htm

Prayer Before Confession
catholicculture.org/culture/liturgicalyear/prayers/view.cfm?id=975
 
Indeed, God is gracious.

I would explain that it’s been years since you’ve been to confession, and follow the leading of the priest in this case.
 
Awesome! Thank you!

Betsy, lol. I love your last example. I’ll ask the priest for guidance as well as have my “homework” done.

Kevin, the link for one’s examination of conscience is pretty hard core. It’s interesting because it’s easy to recognize “surface” issues. i.e. I cursed God’s name in vain. Or, I stole a watch from the department store.

But there are other deeper issues as well. Have you made material possessions your god? And other subtle ones: when at work, did you give your full time for your employer or did you “steal” some of that time for personal uses, i.e. waste time on the Internet, etc.? These are the questions I have been asking myself and so I really appreciated your link.
 
One thing that I find helpful is reading an Examination of Conscience before confession. This basically goes through the Ten Commandments and asks several questions of you about each one. Sometimes I will be reminded of something I have done that I would otherwise have forgotten - it just gets you thinking. There is a great one in the back of the Daily Roman Missal, if you have access to one of those, or there are several on the Internet, I put links of some I found that are good:

catholic-pages.com/penance/examine.asp
scborromeo.org/confess.htm
catholicculture.org/culture/liturgicalyear/activities/view.cfm?id=423

Hope this helps!
 
We had our parish mission/retreat this past week at OLSS in North Myrtle Beach, SC and confession was one of the main points of it, I went for first time in one year to the week, what a RELIEF, and really I will make a goal of going once a month or week…
 
Johny went to confession.Father mike ask for his sins.Johny said I kissed a girl.
Father asked was it Mary?Johny says no.Father asked was it Ann? Johnny says no .Father asked was it Sally?Johnny says no.
As he leaves the church his friend asked 'what did Father give you?"
Johnny answered,references.
 
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