Good works?

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Argh

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I’m kinda wondering if my efforts to “evangelize” my gf and a few of my…well…“weak-moraled” friends count as doing “good works”. For those who arent fimiliar, my gf and I have been together for 2years and 2 months today and one day we’d like to get married. Problem is, she’s agnostic and I’ve been subtly and slowly trying to get her to accept the CC. Meanwhile I’ve been trying to serve as a “good example” to my friends here who drink, smoke various things and sleep around. To which I’ve had some success, but it’s hard in this environment.

I ask because I got into a discussion (which degenerated into an arguement) with a group of baptists who regularly come to Madison’s State Street to preach.
 
Those are definitely good works. Baptists, if I’m not mistaken, are sola fide so I’m not sure why they would care what is and what is not a good work.
 
Sounds like good works, but I wouldn’t get too obsessed about keeping track of the good works we do.

What do you mean by drink?
 
I say shock her and tell her she has to go to RCIA before you get married…just kidding. 😃

I think starting slow is a good idea. Invite her to mass with you, this might spark an interest in her. She’ll probably start with “Why do you guys do all that kneeling, standing, sitting? Don’t ya get tired?”
Allow her to question you, explain to her that it is very important to you and that you would love for her to know God, but you won’t push it.

I’m assuming you are in college; is that correct? If you are most campuses have a Catholic group called the Newman’s, this might be a great group to start her with as well.

SG
 
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Argh:
For those who arent fimiliar, my gf and I have been together for 2years and 2 months today and one day we’d like to get married. Problem is, she’s agnostic and I’ve been subtly and slowly trying to get her to accept the CC.
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My first question would be, and this is a very personal one which you don’t at all have to answer if you desire not to, if you’ve been together that long, are you engaged in a sexual relationship?

This may seem irrelevant. Here’s why I ask:

I’ve been in long-term relationships before. Ones in which we did not end up getting married, and then the one in which, praise God, we DID. In both instances, however, staying together that long without being married proved to be a TREMENDOUS strain on our abilities to remain chaste. And I’m only talking about the mutual Christian relationships (this was before I converted to the RCC).

However, when I dated a non-Catholic, non-Christian for ANY length of time, even just a couple of months, the sexual influence of that person was several times stronger than that of the people mentioned in the Paragraph 1. In fact, it caused me not only to ultimately cross boundaries that never should have been crossed before marriage, but even worse, destroyed my Christian witness to that person.

Back in high school, my youth minister used to call this “Missonary Dating,” and he always told us something very wise: it is MUCH easier for someone to pull you down from your faith, than for you to pull him up to it. I wish to this day I’d believed him.

Now, of course, if you and she were already married, I would say, “Absolutely, do the very best you can to live a holy life and win her over!” Since this is not the case, I say something that may be much harder to hear:

Take a step back from her. Chances are you are in love with this person, and creating space between you is the very last thing you want to do. But realize that perhaps you are quietly sabotaging your own peace of mind, for if you marry this woman even if she does not convert, then you have founded your marriage not on a mutual faith and responsibility to the Church, but rather on a very shaky and perilous ground.

Grace and strength to you, brother. And may you also be blessed for desiring to obey God. That is an awesome thing! 👍

In Christ,
Mary
 
I agree with the idea of bringing her to Mass. If she is on the fence about the existence of God, try giving her something somewhat concrete to start with: for example, if she is interested, get her a book about miracles. I heard about one in which, after the priest blessed the host, it began to bleed. Scientific analysis of a small portion of it showed that the host had miraculously turned into heart tissue. These are great because it will give her something tangible to think about. Then move on to the more abstract stuff. I think it is great that you are trying to convert her.

However, I know that I could not ever marry somebody who did not share my faith. That one is really your choice, but in my opinion, trying to build a marriage without God would be like building a house on the bluffs in Malibu: it looks pretty, and it might work for a while, but the first big wave will take out the entire bluff, house and all. You are building a marriage on shaky ground if you don’t do it in the church.

Eamon
 
Good for you, Argh! I hope, too, that you are able to bring her into the Church. Best wishes. 🙂
 
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