Gossip and Talking Back

[RedDuke50]

I wanted to know if it is still considered gossip if you don’t mention the person’s name or point out who the person is. Also, I have had certain people gossip to me and I was wondering if it was wrong to listen. Sometimes I will listen and not realize that it is gossip until afterwards.

The other thing I was wondering is if talking back to someone is a sin. My parents told me that somewhere in the bible it says that if someone slaps you than you shall turn the other cheek. So if someone says something rude or mean or is being a hypocrit or something, would it be wrong to talk back?

Thank you and sorry if this seems like too much to ask in one thread. †

 

[lisahiku]

It is good to stay away from ALL gossip. I don’t trust or respect people who gossip. When people gossip they gossip about EVERYBODY.

 

[Trishie]

You will find the teaching of the Church regarding others’ reputations here:

scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a8.htm

2488 The right to the communication of the truth is not unconditional. Everyone must conform his life to the Gospel precept of fraternal love. This requires us in concrete situations to judge whether or not it is appropriate to reveal the truth to someone who asks for it.

2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury.278 He becomes guilty:

• of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;
• of *detraction *who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them;279
• of *calumny *who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.
  2478 To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way:

Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another’s statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.280 2479 Detraction and calumny destroy the reputation and honor of one’s neighbor. Honor is the social witness given to human dignity, and everyone enjoys a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation and to respect. Thus, detraction and calumny offend against the virtues of justice and charity.

 

[Trishie]

Respect due to parents:

vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a4.htm

The duties of children
2214 The divine fatherhood is the source of human fatherhood;16 this is the foundation of the honor owed to parents. The respect of children, whether minors or adults, for their father and mother17 is nourished by the natural affection born of the bond uniting them. It is required by God’s commandment.18
2215 Respect for parents (filial piety) derives from *gratitude *toward those who, by the gift of life, their love and their work, have brought their children into the world and enabled them to grow in stature, wisdom, and grace. "With all your heart honor your father, and do not forget the birth pangs of your mother. Remember that through your parents you were born; what can you give back to them that equals their gift to you?"19
2216 Filial respect is shown by true docility and obedience. "My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. . . . When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you."20 "A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke."21
2217 As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him when it is for his good or that of the family. "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."22 Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.
As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
2218 The fourth commandment reminds grown children of their responsibilities toward their parents. As much as they can, they must give them material and moral support in old age and in times of illness, loneliness, or distress. Jesus recalls this duty of gratitude.23

**For the Lord honored the father above the children, and he confirmed the right of the mother over her sons. Whoever honors his father atones for sins, and whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up treasure. Whoever honors his father will be gladdened by his own children, and when he prays he will be heard. Whoever glorifies his father will have long life, and whoever obeys the Lord will refresh his mother.24 O son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives; even if he is lacking in understanding, show forbearance; in all your strength do not despise him. . . . Whoever forsakes his father is like a blasphemer, and whoever angers his mother is cursed by the Lord.25 **
2219 Filial respect promotes harmony in all of family life; it also concerns relationships between brothers and sisters. Respect toward parents fills the home with light and warmth. "Grandchildren are the crown of the aged."26 "With all humility and meekness, with patience, [support] one another in charity."27
2220 For Christians a special gratitude is due to those from whom they have received the gift of faith, the grace of Baptism, and life in the Church. These may include parents, grandparents, other members of the family, pastors, catechists, and other teachers or friends. "I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you."28

 

[Trishie]

a) However you have a third question here, really, what does the Lord mean when He urges us to turn the other cheek.
You do see that we are not obliged to obey where to obey is sinful,

**2217 … Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so. **
However your question regarding 'turning your cheek" is not a matter of what your parents say as being sinful, it is a matter of interpretation of a scriptural text.

Here is a priest’s comment on the text:
catholic.net/index.php?option=dedestaca&id=5252&grupo=Prayers%20%20Devotions&canal=Devotionals

b) However, to admonish the sinner, to correct the sinner, with charity, is one of the spiritual works of mercy. That is, yes we can let others know we think they are wrong so long as we do so with charity, and with good in mind

The bible says:
**15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ **(Matthew 18:15)

Bishop Louis Morrow, My Catholic Faith, p. 181. writes:
**
“To admonish the sinner. – Whenever we think our words may have a good effect, we should not hesitate to admonish the erring prudently. Those in authority, such as parents and teachers, are bound to admonish those under them of their faults, even if in doing so they bring trouble upon themselves.**

St Augustine wrote:**“Medicinal rebuke must be applied to all who sin, lest they should either themselves perish, or be the ruin of others… Let no one, therefore, say that a man must not be rebuked when he deviates from the right way, or that his return and perseverance must only be asked from the Lord for him.” **

I hope that helps

 

[Trishie]

a) However you have a third question here, really, what does the Lord mean when He urges us to turn the other cheek.
You do see that we are not obliged to obey where to obey is sinful,

**2217 … Children should also obey the reasonable directions of their teachers and all to whom their parents have entrusted them. But if a child is convinced in conscience that it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so. **
However your question regarding 'turning your cheek" is not a matter of what your parents say as being sinful, it is a matter of interpretation of a scriptural text.

Here is a priest’s comment on the text:
catholic.net/index.php?option=dedestaca&id=5252&grupo=Prayers%20%20Devotions&canal=Devotionals

b) However, to admonish the sinner, to correct the sinner, with charity, is one of the spiritual works of mercy. That is, yes we can let others know we think they are wrong so long as we do so with charity, and with good in mind

The bible says:
15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ (Matthew 18:15)

Bishop Louis Morrow, My Catholic Faith, p. 181. writes:
**
“To admonish the sinner. – Whenever we think our words may have a good effect, we should not hesitate to admonish the erring prudently. Those in authority, such as parents and teachers, are bound to admonish those under them of their faults, even if in doing so they bring trouble upon themselves.**

St Augustine wrote:**“Medicinal rebuke must be applied to all who sin, lest they should either themselves perish, or be the ruin of others… Let no one, therefore, say that a man must not be rebuked when he deviates from the right way, or that his return and perseverance must only be asked from the Lord for him.” **

I hope that helps

 

[RedDuke50]

Thank you, Trishie and lisahiku, for your answers. They have helped me a lot. Thank you, Trishie, for putting so much effort and thought in your answer. †

 

[Jim_Roberts]

I wanted to know if it is still considered gossip if you don’t mention the person’s name or point out who the person is. Also, I have had certain people gossip to me and I was wondering if it was wrong to listen. Sometimes I will listen and not realize that it is gossip until afterwards.

The other thing I was wondering is if talking back to someone is a sin. My parents told me that somewhere in the bible it says that if someone slaps you than you shall turn the other cheek. So if someone says something rude or mean or is being a hypocrit or something, would it be wrong to talk back?

Thank you and sorry if this seems like too much to ask in one thread. †

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It would not be a sin if you are talking about someone since you are not usi
ng their names; Yes, I think it is morally wrong to sit their ands listen nto gossipping.

If someone is criticising you, than this means to turn your cheek the other way and for it.

JESUS I TRUST IN YOU