Got a problem

[bones_IV]

A friend of mine has a problem and I was wondering if you could help me out with this. Thanks for your time.

Here’s what she told me. Her daughter got her fingers slammed in the door by another kid who happens to be a neighbor of theirs. Now my friends daughter is hurt, and the neighbors daughter lied to her parents point blank. The kid who slammed the door purposefully, has a father that’s a drunk.

Here’s what she said to me in an email.

“Nick, please pray for me.
The neighbor lady and I just got into it and she slammed the door in my faith and said, “Oh, Jesus Christ.” Me being me, I said, “Oh that’s a nice thing to say.” I called her a bitch behind her back when she slammed the door. I am so wrong…what her child did was wrong, but a kid is a kid. The child’s stepdad is an abusive drunk, and he was in the background screaming, “she’s a brat!” So, the mom starting telling me…Alexis is grounded! Alexis is grounded for a week now. I told her that was NOT my problem; my problem was that my child is hurt. Her daughter lied; point blank, purposely shutting my little one’s fingers in a door. She was very hurt. Period. I feel such rage. Tell me how to handle this. I told her that she and her husband only made the decisions in their home…not me!”

Any suggestions I could give her? Any would help tremendously, thanks for your time.

Bones_IV

 

[masondoggy]

Did her finger require any medical attention?

I guess this is a good opportunity for your friend to teach her daughter about forgiveness. There’s nothing that can be done to change the behavior of these people. It’s best to make peace and in the future, she should probably avoid this kid.

 

[Sailboat]

I think maybe that your friend ought to think twice about letting her daughter play with this girl or go over to her house. We don’t let our kids go to houses that are too dysfunctional. I recently told one of my daughters that some friends are only for school, but that I didn’t want her to go over to a certain girl’s house anymore. I told her that school was kind of like going to work, and that it was good to have a wide circle of allies there, but not too many of them qualify as friends, and you have to be very selective with friends. Jesus was very selective with his friends, after all.

 

[bones_IV]

Hey, thanks for your suggestions. I’ll see what she says.

 

[bones_IV]

Now my friend says she wants to develope a relationship with her neighbor? I don’t get this.

 

[Della]

Now my friend says she wants to develope a relationship with her neighbor? I don’t get this.

If your friend is Catholic I suggest she talk to her priest before trying to establish any relationship with these people. It’s not for her to try to solve their problems, especially those of an alcoholic. She’ll only get deeply involved and end up getting even more dumped on because she doesn’t know how to handle the situation. It’s one thing to forgive and forget and quite another to take people on as a “project,” yes?

 

[Sailboat]

Now my friend says she wants to develope a relationship with her neighbor? I don’t get this.

OHHH, BAD idea. It’s always better to maintain a friendly distance from neighbors! She’s fooling herself if she thinks it’s her mission to get tangled up like this. She’s only asking for trouble.

Most important is to 1) protect her family and 2) maintain peace in the neighborhood. These 2 goals are best attained with a healthy detachment, and friendly waves from a distance.

 

[bones_IV]

OHHH, BAD idea. It’s always better to maintain a friendly distance from neighbors! She’s fooling herself if she thinks it’s her mission to get tangled up like this. She’s only asking for trouble.

Most important is to 1) protect her family and 2) maintain peace in the neighborhood. These 2 goals are best attained with a healthy detachment, and friendly waves from a distance.

Thanks.