Grad school childcare question

[TCEL]

Funny you bring this up. I just had a tete-a-tete and brainstorming session with my husband this weekend, as I’ve been struggling with the dumps. My husband is wise. He said that we’re at a time right now where we are readjusting expectations. Must be a common phase.

I’m not sure I can give any advice regarding child care, but I’m commiserating a bit. I’ve done nothing job-wise with my degree (Apparel Design and Production), and there are many reasons for that. I love working with my hands, and I loved the historical and anthropological aspects of textiles. I’ve always thought it would be cool to go into archaeology or something, and I almost pursued Museum Studies instead. I had never seriously thought about pursuing it though. (Truly though, I told my husband that I want to be one of those people in the History Channel documentaries wearing lab coats and cataloging artifacts. I would be happy as a clam cleaning junk off some random article in some back room. Hey, it takes all types.)

However, I don’t want it to be a passing fancy. Way too expensive. So I just applied for volunteer positions at the museum in assisting with the collections and data entry. Once weekly four-hour shifts are manageable, and it’s all I feel comfortable asking Grammy to baby-sit for. It also might get me a foot in the door, a little bit of practical experience, and some connection to the larger world.

However, I don’t see how I could possibly pursue a degree since I am the primary caretaker of the children. So, I’ve contented myself with the thought I may pursue this more intensely later on. In the meantime, we are still considering homeschool. Like I said, it’s still a work in progress, because I really don’t think I could homeschool and get a degree at the same time, especially if we have more than two kids. So, we’ll see what happens. Maybe all I need to do is volunteer. Maybe I won’t even enjoy it! We might move! Lots of unknowns.

In the meantime, I meet weekly with some Church friends and their kids (which has been a real blessing, since they’re homeschoolers), and my husband works real hard to get home in time so I can attend a monthly Chesterton book group. That has also been a God-send.

 

[Xantippe]

Funny you bring this up. I just had a tete-a-tete and brainstorming session with my husband this weekend, as I’ve been struggling with the dumps. My husband is wise. He said that we’re at a time right now where we are readjusting expectations. Must be a common phase.

I’m not sure I can give any advice regarding child care, but I’m commiserating a bit. I’ve done nothing job-wise with my degree (Apparel Design and Production), and there are many reasons for that. I love working with my hands, and I loved the historical and anthropological aspects of textiles. I’ve always thought it would be cool to go into archaeology or something, and I almost pursued Museum Studies instead. I had never seriously thought about pursuing it though. (Truly though, I told my husband that I want to be one of those people in the History Channel documentaries wearing lab coats and cataloging artifacts. I would be happy as a clam cleaning junk off some random article in some back room. Hey, it takes all types.)

However, I don’t want it to be a passing fancy. Way too expensive. So I just applied for volunteer positions at the museum in assisting with the collections and data entry. Once weekly four-hour shifts are manageable, and it’s all I feel comfortable asking Grammy to baby-sit for. It also might get me a foot in the door, a little bit of practical experience, and some connection to the larger world.

However, I don’t see how I could possibly pursue a degree since I am the primary caretaker of the children. So, I’ve contented myself with the thought I may pursue this more intensely later on. In the meantime, we are still considering homeschool. Like I said, it’s still a work in progress, because I really don’t think I could homeschool and get a degree at the same time, especially if we have more than two kids. So, we’ll see what happens. Maybe all I need to do is volunteer. Maybe I won’t even enjoy it! We might move! Lots of unknowns.

In the meantime, I meet weekly with some Church friends and their kids (which has been a real blessing, since they’re homeschoolers), and my husband works real hard to get home in time so I can attend a monthly Chesterton book group. That has also been a God-send.

That sounds really nice!

 

[AClaire11]

Funny you bring this up. I just had a tete-a-tete and brainstorming session with my husband this weekend, as I’ve been struggling with the dumps. My husband is wise. He said that we’re at a time right now where we are readjusting expectations. Must be a common phase.

I’m not sure I can give any advice regarding child care, but I’m commiserating a bit. I’ve done nothing job-wise with my degree (Apparel Design and Production), and there are many reasons for that. I love working with my hands, and I loved the historical and anthropological aspects of textiles. I’ve always thought it would be cool to go into archaeology or something, and I almost pursued Museum Studies instead. I had never seriously thought about pursuing it though. (Truly though, I told my husband that I want to be one of those people in the History Channel documentaries wearing lab coats and cataloging artifacts. I would be happy as a clam cleaning junk off some random article in some back room. Hey, it takes all types.)

However, I don’t want it to be a passing fancy. Way too expensive. So I just applied for volunteer positions at the museum in assisting with the collections and data entry. Once weekly four-hour shifts are manageable, and it’s all I feel comfortable asking Grammy to baby-sit for. It also might get me a foot in the door, a little bit of practical experience, and some connection to the larger world.

However, I don’t see how I could possibly pursue a degree since I am the primary caretaker of the children. So, I’ve contented myself with the thought I may pursue this more intensely later on. In the meantime, we are still considering homeschool. Like I said, it’s still a work in progress, because I really don’t think I could homeschool and get a degree at the same time, especially if we have more than two kids. So, we’ll see what happens. Maybe all I need to do is volunteer. Maybe I won’t even enjoy it! We might move! Lots of unknowns.

In the meantime, I meet weekly with some Church friends and their kids (which has been a real blessing, since they’re homeschoolers), and my husband works real hard to get home in time so I can attend a monthly Chesterton book group. That has also been a God-send.

You’re so lucky you have someone to babysit! I was going to join the church choir and maybe a women’s group, but then my husband got a new job detail and started working 10-12 hour days. He doesn’t get back until 8 most nights and those things are always at 7 or 730.

 

[Xantippe]

You’re so lucky you have someone to babysit! I was going to join the church choir and maybe a women’s group, but then my husband got a new job detail and started working 10-12 hour days. He doesn’t get back until 8 most nights and those things are always at 7 or 730.

Mothers’ groups often have events in the morning.

 

[UbiCaritas]

:bighanky:

It’s so unfair. I know, I know, life is not fair. But I’d be able to help a lot of people while also providing a second income. I guess I’ll wait a few years and see if we end up moving somewhere semi reasonable. I’m just worried that any major city we will be able to move to will still be really expensive, just not as expensive, if that makes sense.

I guess I understand what my grandmother meant when she said it would be better to be born a man. I don’t agree, but I understand.

OP, I don’t have anything constructive to add, just support and understanding. :flowers:

FWIW, I had the opportunity to go back to school this year for something I have wanted to do ever since I was a kid. I was over-the-moon excited, to say the least. I had thought I’d worked out all the possible kinks, had even figured out a way to get free childcare , we could easily afford the tuition, the works. That I genuinely love the experience of being in school was a HUGE plus for me, as I’ve given up most of my hobbies since becoming a parent. DH was 110% supportive. Classes were hard, but so interesting!

Then life happened, and I had to drop out–not just for the semester, but indefinitely, at least until the kids (ages 2 and 7 months currently) are out of the house.

It’s so hard, and it really, really hurts. I know. And I’m sorry.

 

[AClaire11]

OP, I don’t have anything constructive to add, just support and understanding. :flowers:

FWIW, I had the opportunity to go back to school this year for something I have wanted to do ever since I was a kid. I was over-the-moon excited, to say the least. I had thought I’d worked out all the possible kinks, had even figured out a way to get free childcare , we could easily afford the tuition, the works. That I genuinely love the experience of being in school was a HUGE plus for me, as I’ve given up most of my hobbies since becoming a parent. DH was 110% supportive. Classes were hard, but so interesting!

Then life happened, and I had to drop out–not just for the semester, but indefinitely, at least until the kids (ages 2 and 7 months currently) are out of the house.

It’s so hard, and it really, really hurts. I know. And I’m sorry.

I have a friend who is only able to get her master’s in education because her mom watches her toddler for half the market rate and they are living with her parents. Otherwise, her husband would probably have to stay home because he doesn’t make as much as she does. I guess it’s just part of having a family.

 

[TCEL]

You’re so lucky you have someone to babysit! I was going to join the church choir and maybe a women’s group, but then my husband got a new job detail and started working 10-12 hour days. He doesn’t get back until 8 most nights and those things are always at 7 or 730.

For sure. I feel guilty asking for it very often though, so I limit myself. It’s also one reason I don’t want to move away from the area.

It’s not easy, is it? I always got the impression from other women in college (rightly or wrongly) that staying at home was taking the easy way out, and beneath a woman’s capability. I think that’s a very wrong-headed notion. I think it’s hard and requires a lot of strength, just strengths I didn’t really learn in school. In fact, the best training I had for it was watching my own parent’s examples, chores, and the jobs I had which required a lot of manual work, cleaning, and mind-numbing watchfulness during slow business hours.

 

[ThePCWife]

For sure. I feel guilty asking for it very often though, so I limit myself. It’s also one reason I don’t want to move away from the area.

It’s not easy, is it? I always got the impression from other women in college (rightly or wrongly) that staying at home was taking the easy way out, and beneath a woman’s capability. I think that’s a very wrong-headed notion. I think it’s hard and requires a lot of strength, just strengths I didn’t really learn in school. In fact, the best training I had for it was watching my own parent’s examples, chores, and the jobs I had which required a lot of manual work, cleaning, and mind-numbing watchfulness during slow business hours.

It is easy, if you’re an urban SAHM of one or two school-age kids in a walkable neighborhood with part-time domestic help and 20 hours a week to pursue hobbies and a social life, which is probably what they thought of. Not the actual situation most SAHMs are in.