Graduation Gift

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bakhita

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This is the situation:

18 years ago a friend was asked to be a godparent at a Catholic baptism. After the baptism, the parents basically never took the child to church again…over the years the godparent wanted to say something about the child’s religious upbringing—feeling she had a responsibility to do so—she wasn’t sure what to do and upon advice from a nun in her parish, she did nothing.

Now, this summer the boy is graduating from high school. The godparent feels like she ought to give him some kind of gift that points him in the direction of faith—since this may be her last chance to do so. But she’s not sure what to do for this. A cross? A Bible? A book? What kind of gift do you give to someone who has never been in a church since his baptism 18 years ago? She feels she needs to do something so that he’s not completely lost. But she’s not sure what to do.
 
How about a Bible and a subscription to a good Catholic magazine like This Rock
 
Maybe a book about a Saint that is short but good like Mother Teresa’s “Doing Something Beautiful for God.” The story was so moving that the original author converted to Catholicism.
 
bakhita said:
This is the situation:

18 years ago a friend was asked to be a godparent at a Catholic baptism. After the baptism, the parents basically never took the child to church again…over the years the godparent wanted to say something about the child’s religious upbringing—feeling she had a responsibility to do so—she wasn’t sure what to do and upon advice from a nun in her parish, she did nothing.

Now, this summer the boy is graduating from high school. The godparent feels like she ought to give him some kind of gift that points him in the direction of faith—since this may be her last chance to do so. But she’s not sure what to do for this. A cross? A Bible? A book? What kind of gift do you give to someone who has never been in a church since his baptism 18 years ago? She feels she needs to do something so that he’s not completely lost. But she’s not sure what to do.
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That was a big mistake IMHO. Why go to a nun? The godparent knew their responsibility at the time of the sacrament of baptism.

This godparent should have discussed this with their priest, and likely ought to confess this as an obligation they never followed up on. Sorry to be so hard on the godparent here, but had they done what they promised to do possibly this child would have stayed active in the Church.

Since we cant go back in time to correct this oversight I guess offering to take this young adult to Mass would also be a good start. After all, it would be better than any book. The Mass is where everyone should start, not books.
 
Hellisreal said:
That was a big mistake IMHO. Why go to a nun? The godparent knew their responsibility at the time of the sacrament of baptism.

**Wow, that’s harsh. There is a nun in our parish that is in charge of religious formation or whatever you want to call it. She is the one who helped me enter the Church. Nuns are Religious and I wouldn’t have thought twice about asking her for advice on a religious matter.

And who’s to say that the Godparent knew their responsibility? Obviously, if she sought out advice, she didn’t know as much as you think. And 18 years ago the emphasis was probably still placed on “who will take care of my kid if I die” rather than on religious education and mentorship. **

This godparent should have discussed this with their priest, and likely ought to confess this as an obligation they never followed up on. Sorry to be so hard on the godparent here, but had they done what they promised to do possibly this child would have stayed active in the Church.

Possibly…but that is in the past. The point is that she wants to do something now and your comments so far have not been in the least helpful to the OP (or the Godparent if they are reading this).

Since we cant go back in time to correct this oversight I guess offering to take this young adult to Mass would also be a good start. After all, it would be better than any book. The Mass is where everyone should start, not books.
**
I don’t agree. As a former non-Catholic, Mass would have bored me silly. Especially at 18 years old. In order to appreciate Mass, you have to have a basic understanding of what is going on and it’s purpose. If there is not a living, breathing example of a good Catholic in this young adult’s life, I think books are the best place to start. It’s where I started, and look where i am now!

As for the grad gift…

I would lean towards something personalized. Maybe a personalized bible? Or a religious medal that has been engraved? Something that will be less likely to be given (or thrown:eek:) away. Of course, an invitation to Mass could also be offered.

Malia
**
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To each his own.

I stand by my post. I bet if a Priest was asked he would agree about my suggestion for confession and going to Mass.

By the way, what evidence do you have that the focus was not insuring religious instruction “back then” and that it was more of a “adoption upon death of parents” type thing?

Until you can provide more than your personal opinion, I stand by my post.👍

By the way F wife, he was not a protestant ever. This adult was a baptised Catholic.

And you may have gotten a wonderful nun. But, not all are. I hesitate to wonder about a nun not advising confession for this responsiblity ignored.
 
F wife,

In my post I suggested the Godparent go with the young adult.

I assumed the Godparent was in fact, Living and in fact, Breathing. And an individual.

I missed that one in my earlier defense of my post to your attack.
 
Well - 18 years is a long time to not notice that the child was not receiving proper spiritual direction from his parents. :rolleyes: Yes - the godparent does need to visit the confessional on this one, I have to agree. You make a promise to do something and you keep to it - period.

And I love the idea of taking him to Mass. I would suggest wrapping something else around it, like lunch afterward to give an opportunity to discuss the Mass and perhaps give a nice gift like the personalized medal or bible.

This person is about to enter the world as an adult - with all the entails. To have absolutely no one in his life to turn to for spiritual direction is a travesty. At least he will know that his godparent is there for him when he needs them.

~Liza
 
Hellisreal said:
To each his own.

I stand by my post. I bet if a Priest was asked he would agree about my suggestion for confession and going to Mass.

Depends on the priest. I’m not saying the Godparent shouldn’t go to confession…

By the way, what evidence do you have that the focus was not insuring religious instruction “back then” and that it was more of a “adoption upon death of parents” type thing?
**
No evidence, just my opinion based on what I hear from many people. It seems like many Catholics are sorely lacking in knowledge of the most basics of the faith. Many people my parents age and a bit younger still think that that’s what Godparents are generally for.**

Until you can provide more than your personal opinion, I stand by my post.👍

Which is your** personal opinion. We’ve all got one;)

By the way F wife, he was not a protestant ever. This adult was a baptised Catholic.
**
Not sure where that’s coming from. I never thought he was.**

And you may have gotten a wonderful nun. But, not all are. I hesitate to wonder about a nun not advising confession for this responsiblity ignored.

**Not all priests are wonderful. Not all doctors are wonderful. Not all teachers are wonderful…etc etc etc. My point is that one should be able to trust a nun’s advice on a religious matter.

malia
**
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Hellisreal said:
F wife,

In my post I suggested the Godparent go with the young adult.

I assumed the Godparent was in fact, Living and in fact, Breathing. And an individual.

I missed that one in my earlier defense of my post to your attack.
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**
My attack? Sorry you felt that way. I thought you were being harsh. Maybe I’m wrong. But it was not an attack. No need to be so defensive. My comment about “living, breathing person” was more about someone that is actually active in their life on a regular basis…

Malia
**
 
Feanaro_s_Wife said:
**
My attack? Sorry you felt that way. I thought you were being harsh. Maybe I’m wrong. But it was not an attack. No need to be so defensive. My comment about “living, breathing person” was more about someone that is actually active in their life on a regular basis…

Malia
**
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I assume this godparent is. That is a natural assumption based on this concern.

I will not advocate “buy a book to get off the hook”😉
 
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