Grandparents gift giving

[jennypekny]

My husband’s parent’s are extremely generous when it comes to gifts at birthdays, holidays and even “just because” days. Sometimes, it seems like too much. I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but I know these gifts are way beyond anything we’ve asked for. We have two young daughters and are aware of the trend that is being set with gifts given to them. When asked what we or they want for these “holidays” we reply with very modest answers. However, the gifts we receive often go way beyond that. What would you do?

 

[Konig]

jennypekny:

My husband’s parent’s are extremely generous when it comes to gifts at birthdays, holidays and even “just because” days. Sometimes, it seems like too much. I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but I know these gifts are way beyond anything we’ve asked for. We have two young daughters and are aware of the trend that is being set with gifts given to them. When asked what we or they want for these “holidays” we reply with very modest answers. However, the gifts we receive often go way beyond that. What would you do?

We had a similar problem but it ws grandparents giving 6-7 gifts for birthdays or Christmas. We told them to limit it to 2 or 3. They are much better now. However, if they went overboard like yours and just spent a ton on one or two items I am not sure how we would handle that. Maybe give them a price limit per child. My sister used to just let her kids open 2 presents per family. If you got her 3 you were taking one home w/ you. Sorry no ideas re expensive gifts.

 

[Didi]

We have had this issue with my sister, my kids’ aunt. It came to the point where whenever she was coming they wondered what she was going to bring. I talked with her about our modest lifestyle and wish to live simply, along with the observation that my kids liked her because she always gave them something instead of liking her because she’s a great person. Now she spends more time with them and will sometimes splurge by taking them to a movie or water park, but it’s the time with her they cherish the most. It’s still a little overboard sometimes, but has gotten much better.

We’ve also offered the option with other occasions, including a suprise b-day for my husband, that gifts are not needed and if anyone felt they really needed to bring a gift, to bring non-perishable food we could donate to St. Vincent de Paul. Maybe grandparents could bring food with the extra money they might have spent, and the grandkids could deliver it with them to St. Vincent de Paul or any other type of charity! Our kids had a friend who did this on his 10th birthday, but asked for dog food donations and then during the party they delivered them to the shelter.

 

[mjdonnelly]

savings bonds and education funds are good ideas also

 

[bluerose]

Since we live 100 miles from my overly generous parents and sister, this is what we’ve come up with:

First off, my parents are pushing 80… from BOTH sides. My mother often says, “Let me do this for the kids (that’s my son and my brother-in-law’s kids, her ‘adopted’ grandkids!)… I won’t be around much longer and I enjoy seeing them have fun.” Whew! What do you say to that, huh?

So, we took our son aside and explained that while it was nice and generous of his grandparents to give him so many gifts (and they weren’t going to stop no matter what we said) that we should help spread the joy they give him with these gifts.

Therefore, after we get home, we donate most of the gifts–usually toys and clothes–to less fortunate children. It sure cuts down on stress from visits, holidays and birthdays.

Now mind you, this works for us in part because we don’t live right near my parents! They have no idea what happens after we leave, only that our son enjoyed receiving his gifts. I hope this works for you too!

BlueRose

 

[Tom]

Gift ideas, I love it!!! O.k. Catholic educational materials. Retreats. Gifts to charities in the kid’s names. I used this one myself when gifts got too big for me. Please send the money to (a special charity) they need it much more than I do, and it would really mean something special to me. Educational funds.