Grandparents who don't like their grandchildren

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JustAnotherThou

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I am going to try to make this short 😛

So is there a point where grandparents reach retirement and the grandkids are reaching pre-teen to teen years and the grandparents just don’t like their grandkids?

Situation: my nieces and nephews parents divored a little over a year ago (after 20+ years of marriage). They are both now dating new people. Grandparent is all happy that her child is now dating someone. This new person is “helping” around the house and complains about how the kids do nothing (because their parents never taught them to!!!). I, being a product of divorce and step parents say how it is not always good for the new person to come in and try to act like a parent and basically try to change everything overnight. Grandparent states “well I don’t like the kids either so XXXX will have my support!!!” :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
JustAnotherThou said:
I am going to try to make this short 😛

So is there a point where grandparents reach retirement and the grandkids are reaching pre-teen to teen years and the grandparents just don’t like their grandkids?

Situation: my nieces and nephews parents divored a little over a year ago (after 20+ years of marriage). They are both now dating new people. Grandparent is all happy that her child is now dating someone. This new person is “helping” around the house and complains about how the kids do nothing (because their parents never taught them to!!!). I, being a product of divorce and step parents say how it is not always good for the new person to come in and try to act like a parent and basically try to change everything overnight. Grandparent states “well I don’t like the kids either so XXXX will have my support!!!” :eek: :eek: :eek:
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You are asking a general question about a specific case and that often doesn’t lend itself to a simple answer.

How sad for all concerned. What the grandparent thinks about the grandchildren’s behavior doesn’t seem that significant in light of everything else that is going on.
 
I guess why I asked it as a general question is because I have heard before that some/many grandparents don’t have as good relationships with their grandchildren when they reach the pre-teen to teenage years. I wonder if part of it is just because of the generation gap.
 
can’t make a general statement based on an off-hand comment by one person in one individual situation. we know absolutely nothing about this family’s background and dynamics.

I will only observe that it is possible to love your grandchildren dearly yet dread spending time with them because they are utterly undisciplined, rude, aggressive, foul-mouthed, and self-centered. Just because grandparents raised their own children with different methods and standards, it does not follow that grandchildren have been raised with good values and standards.

In other families, where time at grandma’s is enforced rather than invited, it might be natural when teens try to assert their independence from the family in other areas, the visit to grandma is also a flashpoint for conflict.
 
I don’t think this is a blanket statement.

However, teens in general are more difficult. Part of it is just hormones because it generally gets better when they’re in their 20s. Teens of divorced parents have an even more difficult time. They didn’t want the divorce, they have more difficulty trusting people because, hey, the parents split up and they said they loved each other.
 
I don’t know about this or grandparent’s in general. Just my grandmother was very kind and at the preteen/teen age she still treated me like I was 9. But then again, she was the only one I let treat me like I was nine :D.

I don’t know about your situation but I think a big thing you could do for your nieces and nephews is to interact with them more. Invite them out to do stuff or go to the movies with them. Invite them to your place a little more often and maybe they’ll feel just a little more anchored and ‘safe’ within the family dynamic.
 
Grandparent states “well I don’t like the kids either so XXXX will have my support!!!”
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Man, ain’t that sumptin?? So where y’all gonna eat Thanksgiving dinner at?
 
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