T
ThyKingdomCome
Guest
Well I don’t get into the whole “helicopter parent” criticism, since I don’t agree with some of the judgments that are so often included when labeling people that way. So naturally I wouldn’t think you are one.
You explained to your folks that your dd isn’t ready. Dad says it’s you who’s not ready. So what? Why does it matter if you’re the one who’s not ready? Mom not being ready (whatever the heck that means) is a fine reason for saying no thank you to a situation that is not necessary for a child. If my parent told me that I was the one who wasn’t ready, my response would be, “hmmm…maybe so. Oh well.”
Our family has a no sleepover rule. It doesn’t intentionally include grandparents (it’s more about sleeping over at friends’ houses), and for the birth of siblings, trips to the ER, and perhaps a very rare weekend away for dh and me, my kids will have sleepovers with their grandparents. But aside from that, I’m not really a fan of even grandparent sleepovers. Each set of grandparent has its own reasons. One set has the matter of us not trusting the judgment and supervision. Another set acts too much like friends instead of adults - they’ve taken on the role of those “bad kids” that you wish your kids weren’t friends with (after all, since we homeschool, we’ve reduced that problem dramatically, at obviously SOMEONE needs to undermine our values - seriously I actually think they might be doing it on purpose). But even if there weren’t issues like that, NO ONE is going to be driving my children out of town. No way, no how, at least not at the ages you’re talking about. I don’t care if my child would have a good time - it’s not about that. In fact, I’m quite sure that my kids would have a great time out of state with their grandparents. But the problems that go along with it aren’t worth the fun they would have. A child’s desire is not the measure of appropriateness of plenty of things, why would out of state overnights be any different? If this makes me a helicopter parent, then get me the bumper sticker.
Hold your ground, and you can choose whether or not you want to give your parents explanations for why. You could just say that you aren’t doing that sort of sleepover at this time. It’s not personal, but it is our rule. And if they give you grief, then you can tell them that you are the parent, and disrespecting your authority is going to make you trust them LESS with your children, not more. Your choices are about what is best for your children, not what the grandparents would find fun. They don’t get a vote in your parenting choices.
You explained to your folks that your dd isn’t ready. Dad says it’s you who’s not ready. So what? Why does it matter if you’re the one who’s not ready? Mom not being ready (whatever the heck that means) is a fine reason for saying no thank you to a situation that is not necessary for a child. If my parent told me that I was the one who wasn’t ready, my response would be, “hmmm…maybe so. Oh well.”
Our family has a no sleepover rule. It doesn’t intentionally include grandparents (it’s more about sleeping over at friends’ houses), and for the birth of siblings, trips to the ER, and perhaps a very rare weekend away for dh and me, my kids will have sleepovers with their grandparents. But aside from that, I’m not really a fan of even grandparent sleepovers. Each set of grandparent has its own reasons. One set has the matter of us not trusting the judgment and supervision. Another set acts too much like friends instead of adults - they’ve taken on the role of those “bad kids” that you wish your kids weren’t friends with (after all, since we homeschool, we’ve reduced that problem dramatically, at obviously SOMEONE needs to undermine our values - seriously I actually think they might be doing it on purpose). But even if there weren’t issues like that, NO ONE is going to be driving my children out of town. No way, no how, at least not at the ages you’re talking about. I don’t care if my child would have a good time - it’s not about that. In fact, I’m quite sure that my kids would have a great time out of state with their grandparents. But the problems that go along with it aren’t worth the fun they would have. A child’s desire is not the measure of appropriateness of plenty of things, why would out of state overnights be any different? If this makes me a helicopter parent, then get me the bumper sticker.
Hold your ground, and you can choose whether or not you want to give your parents explanations for why. You could just say that you aren’t doing that sort of sleepover at this time. It’s not personal, but it is our rule. And if they give you grief, then you can tell them that you are the parent, and disrespecting your authority is going to make you trust them LESS with your children, not more. Your choices are about what is best for your children, not what the grandparents would find fun. They don’t get a vote in your parenting choices.