It could be that you were being asked to exercise self-discipline, and if taken at face value, it’s a personal loss. That’s past, and it’s now that matters, your relationship with God and our heavenly family, now and in the future of your precious life. It has been a painful distraction to you perhaps at times to be calling for the reappearance of whoever the being was. Whether or not you see your angel isn’t what’s important. Although some seem to deny their existence, Angels are about bringing us closer to God, So the main thing is to work at, and allow God, to bring you deeper into His love. A particular Angel visited me once, 26 years ago, said nothing, just astonished me with his embracing love. "He’ felt like family I never expected, that I didn’t know cared for me in this personal way. I talked, prayed all my intentions to ‘him’, bubbling them out quickly in my mind (as ‘he’ came as a spiritual person to me as a spiritual person therefore to my spirit though ‘he’ was without corporal appearance, to my spirit ‘he’ appeared as three dimensional in a sense as if any physical person were standing before me. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know,” I said to ‘him’ meaning that I didn’t know, ever guess, that he (it was St Michael) could possibly care so very personally for an ordinary suburban housewife like me, and as if I am loved family, one of God’s household. (I’d sensed someone ‘arrive’ in my lounge room and I’d turned around and instantly knew ‘him’. I wasn’t afraid, just cried our in my mind simply. “Hello, St Michael!” I think I spoke in my mind, not aloud. I spoke to ‘him’ quickly, about my prayer intentions for my family, for priests, for everyone in the world, for the souls in purgatory, (I added, ‘for all Michaels’, so I have a secret smile every time I encounter anyone called Michael). But ‘he’ didn’t leave when I’d finished that, but remained silent. only radiating that love, so I searched my mind, then said, "St Michael, I don’t know why you came, but whatever you came for, may it be completely fulfilled. Then he left. And so I still say, “St Michael, whatever it is you came for, may it be completely fulfilled” but that’s all I know about that. Except that if God allowed ‘him’ to come to me, it is for all ordinary people. For myself, with the questioning mind I’ve always had, and the intense pain I feel at others’ suffering and needs, and the ways of God that are difficult to understand, I sometimes doubt Him, His love, but I always recall then that visit. It wasn’t a vision but a visit, and my questioning mind has never been able to pick holes in that, because I know ‘he’ was in my house as surely as my sons were. I’d love it if ‘he’ came again, but he hasn’t, in that way. I wonder if I disappointed him, but them I think, we have our ups and downs, and I certainly was far from perfect when ‘he’ came, but for heaven time doesn’t mean what it does to us. But I think that’s a message for us all also,that we’re always loved family of God, and even the prince of the angels cares personally for us, so how much God loves us!
Don’t worry about whether it was truly your guardian angel. If or not, if God used the experience to waken your desire for God and offering Him your heart and life, it was a truly worthwhile experience. I think that God’s blessing would be in your focussing your desire there. A visit from heaven is pure gift. But in the goodness and kindness we offer others, this is God’s presence and the presence of our heavenly family, and so preciously, so is the Eucharist. Bless you, dear soul. May God take you deeply into His loving family, into His love.
Trishie
