guilt after confession

[angell1]

what to do about guilt after confessions?

it’s not that I feel like God doen’st forgive me, but I feel if others knew how sinful I really was, they would hate me.

I was academically dishonst a long time ago, back when I thought I had to be the best at everything and really wanted to prove something to certain profs, since there was a tendency for them to think I couldn’t do anything because of my disability. I would always panick with questions on tests I didn’t know and look up answers sometimes. I didn’t do this for every test, or every class. just a couple, and generally worked hard but would get nervous for exams and forget things. I ended up getting good grades in these classes and feel like I don’t deserve them. also the profs like me and think I’m a good student but if they knew what I did, they would definitely change their opinions.

I’m wondering if I should reveal it. my confessor never told me to since it was a long time ago and the grades or situation can’t be changed and I didn’t really explain it in this much detail. I just feel like the profs like me and give me praise credit more than I actually deserve. It’s hard to still hear them say how good of a student I am, considering what i did. I mean, they saw other things too, I always went to class and did my homework and asked them for help if I needed it and they knew that I knew most of the material. but still, I made stupid decisions. on the other hand, I din’t want to ruin relationships with them but maybe they’re not worth keeping if they don’t know the truth about me.

I wish I could go back and undo it but I can’t.

 

[brigid12]

The priest is “in persona Christi” and Jesus knows your heart, so the priest understood what you where saying even if you didn’t explain all of it. Be at peace. You are forgiven. If you still feel bad about it you can always go back and explain it more fully, however you would be not trusting reconciliation.

 

[TheHolyTrinity9]

The priest is “in persona Christi” and Jesus knows your heart, so the priest understood what you where saying even if you didn’t explain all of it. Be at peace. You are forgiven. If you still feel bad about it you can always go back and explain it more fully, however you would be not trusting reconciliation.

Brigid12 sums it up perfectly when talking about the situation. You have been to reconciliation and told the priest what you have done and have been forgiven for any actions that was given. The fact of the matter is that reconciliation wipes the stain of sin away completely, whatever was there before is now gone and is time to begin a new. You may of cheated a long time ago but you are forgiven in an instant, you may be at ease as God knows you are truly sorry and forgives you.

 

[pianistclare]

You have been forgiven.
Believe it. Forgive yourself for young indiscretions.
You confessed. You were absolved. Stop obsessing.
Do you really believe that God does not impart forgiveness and mercy?
Let it go.
People take you at face value. Show them your best effort in the future, and be at peace.

 

[fab94]

Don’t worry about this my friend! I too have struggled in this way, not with the same issues but with wondering if I have made or not made a good Confession. You mustn’t worry about these things, what you have written would not be a serious sin anyway, it isn’t a “sin” to look up answers to a test.

I have suffered from this problem in past but recently I made a beautiful Confession and the Priest was excellent, I confided in him that I was having this problem, accepting that I had made a good Confession and worrying about it after my Confession (words to that effect). His response was not to worry, Chesterton said “if a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing it badly than not at all” God knows the intention in your heart when you go to Confession. The Priest’s absolution is for all your sins! The explanation of the sins is not overly important as long as you Confessed all you remembered and were conscious of it is fine.

Trust in God and in his mercy. I will pray for you because I know so much of what you are feeling!

 

[angell1]

well, I know God forgives me.

but would my prof forgive me if she found out? she basically thinks I’m like her all-star student, even now after like 5 years. that’s part of the reason it happened, such high expectations, I was afraid of not living up to them. caused a lot of pressure.

is it wrong that her opinion of me is still so good, despite what I did?

 

[fab94]

well, I know God forgives me.

but would my prof forgive me if she found out? she basically thinks I’m like her all-star student, even now after like 5 years. that’s part of the reason it happened, such high expectations, I was afraid of not living up to them. caused a lot of pressure.

is it wrong that her opinion of me is still so good, despite what I did?

I don’t believe so, I am sure that you did not do it out of spite or bad intention, you did it because you wanted to be good and you wanted to be an example- it is not a serious thing, I mean it is not a grave sin anyway, you know the difference between mortal and venial sin (serious and not so serious) I would say this came under the venial category and as your Confessor would tell you I am sure, you’ve given it all to Jesus, received Absolution and not to worry any more!

 

[pianistclare]

well, I know God forgives me.

but would my prof forgive me if she found out? she basically thinks I’m like her all-star student, even now after like 5 years. that’s part of the reason it happened, such high expectations, I was afraid of not living up to them. caused a lot of pressure.

is it wrong that her opinion of me is still so good, despite what I did?

So you want to tell her?
Why?
What will you do if she thinks differently about you?
Why are you worrying about something that will likely never happen?
I don’t get it.
Do your best in the future. Let it go.
Learn a lesson and move on.
People are proud of you. Can’t you accept that?
Maybe you might even deserve their praise.

 

[angell1]

So you want to tell her?
Why?
What will you do if she thinks differently about you?
Why are you worrying about something that will likely never happen?
I don’t get it.
Do your best in the future. Let it go.
Learn a lesson and move on.
People are proud of you. Can’t you accept that?
Maybe you might even deserve their praise.

well no, I don’t particulatly want to tell her.

her opinion of me might decrease, I really have no idea what will happen, honestly

I don’t feel like I deserve the praise and I feel like she’s proud of something that’s not true. well, at least partially. she would never think I’m the type of person to do something like that. I think there would be a lot of disappointment

you know how you’re stupposed to do restitution for your sins? I feel like I haven’t done it since if the truth ccame out, she wouldn’t think so highly of me. maybe that’s supposed to be my restitution? to lower someone’s opinion since I didn’t earn it. I mean, I did work hard in her class and knew the material and she knew that but still. I feel like I didn’t fully earn the grade

I’m just confused about the whole thing.

 

[pianistclare]

well no, I don’t particulatly want to tell her.

her opinion of me might decrease, I really have no idea what will happen, honestly

I don’t feel like I deserve the praise and I feel like she’s proud of something that’s not true. well, at least partially. she would never think I’m the type of person to do something like that. I think there would be a lot of disappointment

you know how you’re stupposed to do restitution for your sins? I feel like I haven’t done it since if the truth ccame out, she wouldn’t think so highly of me. maybe that’s supposed to be my restitution? to lower someone’s opinion since I didn’t earn it. I mean, I did work hard in her class and knew the material and she knew that but still. I feel like I didn’t fully earn the grade

I’m just confused about the whole thing.

Your “restitution” is to never deceive a teacher again. To do you best.
I think the thing you can learn from this is:
Never put that kind of pressure on a young person or anyone, really. Accept people where they are. People CAN work hard and do well. There’s no shortcut to plain old study and hard work.
Once again, you should talk to the priest. I keep wondering…so many of the issues you bring here (although loads of people love you and want to help) would be resolved MUCH more satisfactorily for you if you would just ask the priest to be your spiritual director. A lot of things have to be discussed at length…for all of us. A Spiritual Director will know your history over time, and will become familiar with what kinds of things “tend” to be bothersome to you, and can work toward resolution and a better place for you. I don’t know why you refuse to seek him out.
Do you think he will think less of you? He won’t. It’s his job to help people. They are trained to do this. And it’s free. Private. Personal. Gospel-driven. I don’t believe that God wants any of us to live with such anxiety. Besides redemption, He came to show us how to live. Right?
I wish you would consider it.

 

[angell1]

Your “restitution” is to never deceive a teacher again. To do you best.
I think the thing you can learn from this is:
Never put that kind of pressure on a young person or anyone, really. Accept people where they are. People CAN work hard and do well. There’s no shortcut to plain old study and hard work.
Once again, you should talk to the priest. I keep wondering…so many of the issues you bring here (although loads of people love you and want to help) would be resolved MUCH more satisfactorily for you if you would just ask the priest to be your spiritual director. A lot of things have to be discussed at length…for all of us. A Spiritual Director will know your history over time, and will become familiar with what kinds of things “tend” to be bothersome to you, and can work toward resolution and a better place for you. I don’t know why you refuse to seek him out.
Do you think he will think less of you? He won’t. It’s his job to help people. They are trained to do this. And it’s free. Private. Personal. Gospel-driven. I don’t believe that God wants any of us to live with such anxiety. Besides redemption, He came to show us how to live. Right?
I wish you would consider it.

like i’ve said before, I’m working on it. the pastor of my parish just got transferred to the cathedral and we just got a brand new one who needs to adjust a bit. and the chaplain of our university just returned this week from being gone the whole summer

 

[pianistclare]

like i’ve said before, I’m working on it. the pastor of my parish just got transferred to the cathedral and we just got a brand new one who needs to adjust a bit. and the chaplain of our university just returned this week from being gone the whole summer

Good!