Guilty for moving

[OpenSource]

Hello everyone,

I had a great job opportunity so I took it, and it involves me moving about 260 miles away. I have a wife and a son, and they are very excited and are happy to be relocating.

My Mother, on the other hand, (who lives in the same town as us) is very concerned that she will never see us again, etc. She doesn’t seem to really acknowledge the fact that my family will be enjoying a better lifestyle, she can only think about the fact that she’s going to be 5 hours away from us. She will miss her grandson quite a bit. When we move, she will have no family left in the area.

My concern is the guilt I am bearing for the grief I have put on my Mother. Is it wrong for me to leave the area and leave her alone, away from family?

 

[phoooiee]

Perhaps it might be possible for her to move along with you?

 

[bnbkaine]

We are a military family that lives in Alaska. We are days away from family and the expense is extreme. I can understand that you do not want to upset your mother, but your family is most important. You can only reassure her that she will still be an important part of your family, but with the internet (Skype, etc.), she can still keep in touch with your guys. Plus, five hours is not that long of a drive. Hope that the move is great!

 

[Julian0404]

Hello everyone,

I had a great job opportunity so I took it, and it involves me moving about 260 miles away. I have a wife and a son, and they are very excited and are happy to be relocating.

My Mother, on the other hand, (who lives in the same town as us) is very concerned that she will never see us again, etc. She doesn’t seem to really acknowledge the fact that my family will be enjoying a better lifestyle, she can only think about the fact that she’s going to be 5 hours away from us. She will miss her grandson quite a bit. When we move, she will have no family left in the area.

My concern is the guilt I am bearing for the grief I have put on my Mother. Is it wrong for me to leave the area and leave her alone, away from family?

Your first obligation will always be to your family, your wife and son. You owe them your very best care, love, work and bread winnning efforts. If your Mom can care for herself, then you can leave knowing she is well, and the reunions will be sweeter. Ger her a lap top and pay for SKYPE or other similar service where she can talk and see her grandson face to face as if they both are on each others TV sets.

 

[OpenSource]

The webcam idea is great! Thanks everyone.

 

[1ke]

You aren’t moving to the moon. You are moving 1 day’s drive away.

Your mother is overreacting and trying to put a guilt trip on you. It’s clearly working.

You are not a bad person or a bad son if you move away from your mother.

 

[mommamaree]

Hello everyone,

I had a great job opportunity so I took it, and it involves me moving about 260 miles away. I have a wife and a son, and they are very excited and are happy to be relocating.

My Mother, on the other hand, (who lives in the same town as us) is very concerned that she will never see us again, etc. She doesn’t seem to really acknowledge the fact that my family will be enjoying a better lifestyle, she can only think about the fact that she’s going to be 5 hours away from us. She will miss her grandson quite a bit. When we move, she will have no family left in the area.

My concern is the guilt I am bearing for the grief I have put on my Mother. Is it wrong for me to leave the area and leave her alone, away from family?

We had to do the same thing. We couldn’t remain in the same city as my husband’s mother because there simply weren’t enough good-paying jobs. I am a stay-at-home mother, and my husband wanted to be able to keep me at home with the children rather than send me to work. So we had to move almost 700 miles away from his mother. We felt no guilt, but great sadness. It is terrible being so far away from the people who love us so much, but it had to be done. I have repeatedly teased my MIL about her moving down south with us (even said a couple of times in all seriousness she and her husband should), but they are so close to being debt-free and earning full retirement benefits if they just stick it out a few more years. So they visit at least twice a year, we talk at least once a week, we stay in touch on Facebook and through email and texting. It eases the pain, but it never goes away completely. But it does help to acknowledge the reality of our sadness, so that it doesn’t become misplaced guilt.