Guys, plz help. Or I'm leaving

[Banjodewulf]

Guys, I recently just came out as bisexual. And, I hope some day to marry one of my own sex. I know it will never be by a priest. And I know that some catholics may frown upon me, but I’m never ever going to be ashamed of who I am. My faith in the church has taken a beating from all this and its on its last legs. So I need to know. Am I a sinner, am I evil, am I wrong for feeling love towards males. Not lust, not a desire for sex. true pure love. Love that surpasses that of a women. A priest told me that gays don’t go to heaven, that those who think they do won’t go either. And even though he claims the church isn’t homophobic the statements he makes are. If I don’t get clarity on this I will defect from the church, because I refuse to be a part of the group that is so strongly against something I was born with. And don’t quote genesis or Corinthians or Timothy or Romans because I’ve heard that all before. I think those verses are about men who commit homosexuality in the name of idolatry or rape. Its either I get clarity on this and hope that the church excepts me for who I am or I’m leaving. Don’t try to convince me I’m sick, or tell me to pray away the gay, and don’t give me the whole “Its fine as long as you don’t act on it” thing. Either God always sees love in its purest form, and wether that be a man and a woman, a man and a man, or a woman and a woman that he breathes forth that love wether in “conformity of natural law” or not because God is love, and true love lives within the hearts of all men, no matter who it Is, or he’s not the loving God he claims to be. This is the last straw, either I get clarity on this or I am defecting.

 

[TK421]

But how can you get clarity when you already seem to know the answer? The answer you wish to hear does not exist in the Church and never will. You cannot marry a member of the same sex. This website has good resources to go to on this subject and a spiritual adviser would be very good to help you.

Peace.

 

[Beryllos]

either I get clarity on this or I am defecting

Where are you going to defect to?

 

[Riman643]

Well, I feel like you are not thinking about this rationally but rather emotionally so I would maybe just step back a bit and pray on this. To answer some of your questions, yes homosexuality realized in the form of sexual or romantic relationship is a grave matter. This is a very clear and well understood teaching and if you engage in either sex or romantic activities with another man with your full consent and knowledge, then you would be sinning. Now that being said, the attraction itself to the same sex is not sinful as it is not willed but rather a circumstance of biology/psychology.

I think what you need to remember is this, God loves you no matter what and he will always be there for you. No one can take God’s love for you. Second, only God knows the state of your soul. Your priest, your friends, your family have no say or full understanding on how God will judge your soul. I think you must also keep in mind what the purpose of romantic and sexual relationships are for. They are for marriage, and by definition that only includes men and women. And contrary to popular belief, marriage is not for your own happiness. You would hope it brings a person happiness, but that is not the purpose of marriage. The purpose of marriage is to glorify God and making a commitment to a woman in bringing her closer to God. To think of marriage anything other than a complete sacrifice of your ENTIRE self to a woman is by definition incorrect.

 

[TwoNames]

ere are you going to defect to?

I personally had to change my life to start living my life according to God’s will (EDIT: it’s why I am still doing every day), because I did not really practice my faith until I was about 20. Were my things harder to give up than yours? Probably not / can’t say really, but I think I know why God wants everyone to make sacrifices to follow him. And if you consider it, you will see that it’s a very loving thing from God. Heaven is for ever, this life is for now. We have different struggles, some bigger some smaller, but God wants to fill the heaven with the choir of His Saints. Everyone will have a certain degree of glory in heaven and I think that people with your struggles will have a really really high degree, because they had to give up more in order to get there, and through the sacrifice they showed much more love for God. If that makes sense.

Some saint (can’t remember who) said that in such an infinite number of degrees of glory in heaven, there is such a difference between them, that if he had a choice to live a comfortable life and have heaven guaranteed or if he had to endure the worst sufferings and earn only one level higher degree of glory in heaven, he would have without hesitation choose the suffering.

Hope this helps you.
Become a saint!

p.s. I like to listen to this audiobook - An Easy Way To Become A Saint:

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

How old are you?

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

There is no reason a gay person can’t go to Heaven, but you can’t marry a person of the same sex.

That’s as clear an answer as I can give you on what seem to be the two issues you’re having.

 

[Polak]

You clearly don’t want people to help you, you want them to tell you everything is okay, to make you feel better, and it isn’t, so they won’t do that. It would actually be irresponsible for a Catholic here to tell you a sin isn’t a sin.

I would point you to the writing and podcasts of some Catholic gay men who live chaste lives. They might help you, although as I said though, it doesn’t seem you want help, you want justification for sin.

You’ve written that you’re bisexual, so you actually have it easier not to live in sin. Why do you want to marry one of your own sex then? Why not a woman? If you feel you are attracted to both women and men then why not simply try to find yourself a woman to be with?

 

[Irishmom2]

don’t quote genesis or Corinthians or Timothy or Romans because I’ve heard that all before.

Don’t try to convince me I’m sick, or tell me to pray away the gay, and don’t give me the whole “Its fine as long as you don’t act on it” thing.

true love lives within the hearts of all men, no matter who it Is, or he’s not the loving God he claims to be.

You have ruled out anything anyone is allowed to say, and you have made God into the image you wish to see him in.

What is left to say to someone that is not open to discussion and believes he knows it all?

 

[LeonardoArruda]

Its fine as long as you don’t act on it

Well that’s the truth isnt it? homosexual sex does not produce life therefore it should not be done, you are not guilty of feeling this way, you are not going to hell for your feelings but you should not act on them, they are simply wrong and your feelings are not more important than moral values.

Either God always sees love in its purest form,

Give me your definition of love.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

What is left to say to someone that is not open to discussion and believes he knows it all?

Also, no one here ever says “pray away the gay” to gay people. Its just something people refer to to make the Christian concept of homosexuality seem as braindead as possible.

I’m not sure OP is open to hearing any of this anyway. This thread is a hostage taking: tell me what I want to hear or I’m leaving.

 

[Vico]

…

You ask: Am I a sinner, am I evil, am I wrong for feeling love towards males?

Human nature is good, but under the influence of an inclination to sin. Feelings are not sins, but may be temptations, but sin follows from choices because it has to do with the will not the feeling. But, we have grace that we may overcome temptation to sin. Sin is willingly doing what is contrary to charity (love) of God, neighbor, or ourselves. With regard to feeling love, if it is charity then it is good, but love has multiple meanings and sometimes means lust, but sometimes means a crush, or attachment.

For those married, even sins of lust are possible, because any sexual actvation is only correct when it is both procreative and unitive – that is – willfully experienced together not in isolation. Further, a person could willingly lead another into sins of lust. So, willfully chosen physical contact between two people, can bring lustful thoughts and feelings, so it should be avoided.