Handling the Truth & Correction with Humility

[PelagiathePenit]

My flaws are these. I am usually become angry, defensive, hostile, aggressive or just plain silent when people tell me things I do not want to hear. I have a strong denial thing. You can tell me something a million times, I listen but I do not do it or I just don’t want to believe it. It is hard for me to believe someone I love does not love me back. Some people are not my real friends. I understand where the other person is coming from, but it is STILL HURTS TO HEAR THOUGH. Then correction SUCKS. It just reminds me of how imperfect I am. It is annoying. My parents and family members are very quick on correcting others and telling the truth. I can react very sensitively and emotional. It makes me feel uncomfortable, sad, like I failed again. I do not like being transparent or that my failings are that obvious to others.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Very few people like to hear their faults. And sadly, when someone is open to hearing their faults, sometimes people just cash in on their goodness and constantly criticize them.

Now, there are 2 sides to the coin. Did these people tell you your faults in a charitable way? Are they telling you out of love? Or are they just criticizing you for the sake of it? Not to mention, what they consider a flaw might actually be a quality.

It takes a while to learn to discern good feedback from bad. Stay open to hearing other people out, but don’t assume just because someone said something, it is true

 

[Mystical_Seeker]

If I get corrected there are lots of possibilities,

The person may be (partly) right but I don’t see it.

The person may be (partly) right and I see it but don’t want to hear about it from them.

I see the same fault in them, even though it may take on a slightly different form.

I fear what others will think of me, being a failure to have been whatever I would have to have been to avoid the criticism.

The person is wrong but they won’t listen to me or give me any credit.

My strategy is to isolate out “punishment” and “correction.” As far as punishment, we all deserve death for sins but Jesus took care of that so we don’t have to endure that punishment. As far as someone telling me of a fault, a lot of times they think they have to hurt me in order to get their points across. And I resent them for it, because if they would just explain to me what they see, I would love to know so that I may become better from it (correction, not punishment).

But civilized society places a high cost on “being wrong.” We get low grades, bad things on our Permanent Records, we become “less than” others, we get mocked and fewer offers for professional jobs, etc.

So try to separate what they say, from how you feel about their saying it – and all that from what you think they are trying to insinuate.

And practice saying this: “you may be right.” A lawyer gave me that line. You can use it in any situation where somebody is telling you something you aren’t buying, and they go off happy without even realizing that if they “may” be right as you said, then they may be wrong.

“You may be right” is kind of a cross between “turn the other cheek” and “you missed me.”

MS

 

[Godly_Girl]

There’s wisdom in correction; you just have to listen carefully. I know it sounds hard at first, but you have to love discipline in order to learn. Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid (Proverbs 12:1). Hearing your faults is not always a good thing, especially if you already feel guilty about them. Sometimes, people even reprimand themselves for the wrong that they’ve done, and silently swore to themselves that they’re not going to do them again. Of course, it’s still bad if one can’t keep their word. It’s like you’re breaking your own promise to yourself.

Getting mad can just worsen the situation. If they see you’re angry, they’ll interpret that you’re not listening to them, thus, giving them another chance to correct you for another fault, and this, in turn, will add to your anger. As you can see, it just goes around in circles, so it’s better if you keep calm and actually try to listen.

Jesus wants us to see our faults so that we will try to avoid them. Maybe God is teaching you something here, and you just have to know what it is. If this happens constantly in your life, then there is definitely something that He wants to teach you. He only wants you to be better. If you’ve done something wrong, you have to accept it in humility. Do not be angry, because it will only lead to sin. Put your trust in God, and see things in a different perspective. Most of the time, even if you can’t believe it, in the end, you’ll realize that it’s for your own good.

Pray to God that you will be able to handle it each time someone reprimands you. Keep your cool, and afterwards, reflect and ask God for forgiveness.

 

[PelagiathePenit]

There’s wisdom in correction; you just have to listen carefully. I know it sounds hard at first, but you have to love discipline in order to learn. Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid (Proverbs 12:1). Hearing your faults is not always a good thing, especially if you already feel guilty about them. Sometimes, people even reprimand themselves for the wrong that they’ve done, and silently swore to themselves that they’re not going to do them again. Of course, it’s still bad if one can’t keep their word. It’s like you’re breaking your own promise to yourself.

Getting mad can just worsen the situation. If they see you’re angry, they’ll interpret that you’re not listening to them, thus, giving them another chance to correct you for another fault, and this, in turn, will add to your anger. As you can see, it just goes around in circles, so it’s better if you keep calm and actually try to listen.

Jesus wants us to see our faults so that we will try to avoid them. Maybe God is teaching you something here, and you just have to know what it is. If this happens constantly in your life, then there is definitely something that He wants to teach you. He only wants you to be better. If you’ve done something wrong, you have to accept it in humility. Do not be angry, because it will only lead to sin. Put your trust in God, and see things in a different perspective. Most of the time, even if you can’t believe it, in the end, you’ll realize that it’s for your own good.

Pray to God that you will be able to handle it each time someone reprimands you. Keep your cool, and afterwards, reflect and ask God for forgiveness.

Maybe. I do not know. It can be overwhelming though. I never wonder why people are telling me this. I guess I need to listen.

 

[ready]

Pray for humility and for self-knowledge. Try to work on your faults so you won’t even have to be corrected so much. Love humility and honest correction, for it will make you into a better Catholic. We are imperfect, but we can grow a lot in holiness if we seek perfection and love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. God bless you.

 

[Joy2day]

I am sorry you feel this way, & that you’re in the situation. I think its hard for others to always properly understand your situation via one post, & they are likely not psychologists etc, so I would suggest you discuss your siruation with a psychologist to accurately determine the best path forward for you. You dont want to get into a situation that is depressing you & making you not enjoy life.
There was an unfortunate situation of a nurse who comitted suicide in England cause she naively believed a prank call to be true re. Kate & William’ baby etc. You might know of this. The poor nurse didnt have depression, as said by her family, yet she comitted suicide believing herself to be solely responsible for embarassing the royals. Yes, she made a mistake, but it wasnt deliberate, & she wasnt the only person involved in the transfer of the phone call. Yet it seems she was given full responsibility for the situation by the others at the hospital. I would not consider that to be ‘the truth’, as though it were an objective or known fact. It is more a case of where people needed someone to blame. Unfortunately this poor lady, believed the ‘opinion’ & killed herself. Maybe she was bullied. That is why I say talk to a psychologist to get an accurate picture of your situation, & how best to respond. Sometimes the majority are wrong or you’re being bullied. The truth is out there.