Hard time for me

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mymamamary

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Dear Forum!!

Scrupulosity is a pain in the butt. I feel like I want to go to confession, but I dont think I have any mortal sins, yet I’m scared I do and so I dont know whether I should go and aggravte this even more? or not go?

I ask because,
  1. Spiritual envy, I know its a sin against the HOLY SPIRIT and its mortal, and sometimes when I think of Priests, I get a “envious feeling”?? and Im not sure if this counts as spiritual, although I feel I do, but as soon as I get the feelings, I ask the BLESSINGS OF THE LORD JESUS upon the Priest, and all Priests and seminarians and I say a prayer of blessing for whomever I am “feeling” the envy towards., However the “tummy feelings” persist. I feel like this sin is raping my soul, forcing itself upon my Soul even though I dont like it.
Is this mortal??
 
I highly, highly doubt it, and like 1ke in my unprofessional opinion you need counseling because you have fairly severe scrupulosity.
 
That is not a mortal sin or a sin at all. It’s just a feeling and nothing you can help. St. Thérèse was scrupulous. Perhaps despite these feelings you’re a very holy person.
 
I would confess “spiritual envy” as often as it occurs and ask your priest for advice on how to deal with it.
This is my humble opinion but I think this sin can happen to anybody. A beautiful priest once mentioned in his homily (he was close to tears), that he had sinned with the sin of “envy”. He had recently watched a bunch of children receive their First Communion and said that the light in their eyes and the excitement at beholding Jesus was so beautiful, and he realized he hadn’t felt like that or been that humble in a long time. It gets lost with the years of receiving Communion even though the Eucharist’s glory never diminishes nor should our appreciation for it diminish. So he became envious.
I don’t find you to be scrupulous. Also, mortal sins tear your relationship with Christ, therefore, I think if you DON’T KNOW if your sins are mortal, it’s worth worrying about enough to go and figure it out, it’s that important.
Lastly, I wanted to ask if you had considered God’s plan for you in the form of a religious vocation. Since you say you have become envious of the priests, perhaps you have a ‘longing’ that should be explored, and the envy might dissipate when you acquaint yourself with God’s will and plan for your life better.

Peace be with you, I’ll keep you in my prayers!
 
St. Joseph, pray for us!

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen
 
Get help Mymamamary because if you are serious about your vocation you will need to have this issue dealt with.

Are you having formal spiritual direction?
 
mymamamary said:
Dear Forum!!

Scrupulosity is a pain in the butt. I feel like I want to go to confession, but I dont think I have any mortal sins, yet I’m scared I do and so I dont know whether I should go and aggravte this even more? or not go?

I ask because,
  1. Spiritual envy, I know its a sin against the HOLY SPIRIT and its mortal, and sometimes when I think of Priests, I get a “envious feeling”?? and Im not sure if this counts as spiritual, although I feel I do, but as soon as I get the feelings, I ask the BLESSINGS OF THE LORD JESUS upon the Priest, and all Priests and seminarians and I say a "prayer of blessing for whomever I am “feeling” the envy towards., However the “tummy feelings” persist. I feel like this sin is raping my soul, forcing itself upon my Soul even though I dont like it.
Is this mortal??
Click to expand...
You are not guilty of mortal sin. You seem to answer your own question when you say that you pray as soon as the feelings arise. Feelings are natural; they do not constitute sin, however intense they may be. Furthermore, I think you misunderstand the nature of envy. “Envy is sorrow for another’s good.” (St. Thomas). You, on the other hand, seem grateful for the graces that God bestows on others. However envious you think you feel, this will never amount to envy unless you voluntarily entertain such thoughts.

“And if this zeal be about virtuous goods, it is praiseworthy, according to 1 Corinthians 14:1: “Be zealous for spiritual gifts”: while, if it be about temporal goods, it may be either sinful or sinless.” - St. Thomas
 
LemmeThink4aSec said:
I would confess “spiritual envy” as often as it occurs and ask your priest for advice on how to deal with it.
This is my humble opinion but I think this sin can happen to anybody. A beautiful priest once mentioned in his homily (he was close to tears), that he had sinned with the sin of “envy”. He had recently watched a bunch of children receive their First Communion and said that the light in their eyes and the excitement at beholding Jesus was so beautiful, and he realized he hadn’t felt like that or been that humble in a long time. It gets lost with the years of receiving Communion even though the Eucharist’s glory never diminishes nor should our appreciation for it diminish. So he became envious.
I don’t find you to be scrupulous. Also, mortal sins tear your relationship with Christ, therefore, I think if you DON’T KNOW if your sins are mortal, it’s worth worrying about enough to go and figure it out, it’s that important.
Lastly, I wanted to ask if you had considered God’s plan for you in the form of a religious vocation. Since you say you have become envious of the priests, perhaps you have a ‘longing’ that should be explored, and the envy might dissipate when you acquaint yourself with God’s will and plan for your life better.

Peace be with you, I’ll keep you in my prayers!
Click to expand...
You mean well, but this is not good advice for someone suffering with scrupulosity. The OP said that he does not want the feelings he is having, and right away he prays for the person he feels envy of. That is not sin.
 
Indeed. Sometimes it is a good idea to look back through previous posts to get an idea of the situation. Mymamamary has been posting for some time, and very intensively.

Mymamamary, you have done very well over the past few weeks, cutting down on the frequency of your anguished appeals and the over-excited way in which you used to express them, with so many capital letters, exclamation points and so on.

Concerned posters ahve frequently begged you to get help, and asked if you have a spiritual director, but you never answer.

So again, I beg you to get help, from your parish priest, your doctor or whoever.

We care about you. You are so young, and seem so alone.

Hugs.
 
paperwight66 said:
Indeed. Sometimes it is a good idea to look back through previous posts to get an idea of the situation. Mymamamary has been posting for some time, and very intensively.

Mymamamary, you have done very well over the past few weeks, cutting down on the frequency of your anguished appeals and the over-excited way in which you used to express them, with so many capital letters, exclamation points and so on.

Concerned posters ahve frequently begged you to get help, and asked if you have a spiritual director, but you never answer.

So again, I beg you to get help, from your parish priest, your doctor or whoever.

We care about you. You are so young, and seem so alone.

Hugs.
Click to expand...
Agreed!
 
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